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5:52 a.m. - 2001-10-05

DON'T GET ALL JACKIE CHAN ON MY ASS, GRANDMA

Today, Grandma makes her return to watching Andrew all day. She hasn't done this for several months now, as she's had some sort of strange thing going on with her legs where her vericose veins burst and she had these hideous blotches/bruises all over them.

And she's not bringing Pepe.

Susie talked to her last night and she said she really wanted to watch Andrew today.

Susie said "Are you coming alone?"

And Grandma sighed and said real sarcastically "Yes, I'm coming alone!"

And Susie tried to explain saying that we don't know this guy and she's a mother now and....

And Grandma interupted her and said "Well, I'm a mother AND a grandmother and I think I know what I'm doing."

Uh-huh.

Like you knew what you were doing when you took in that homeless teenager who stole your silverware and pawned it?

Or like you know what you were doing when you gave that guy a thousand bucks to invest in some shady out of the country deal where we'd all end up millionaires?

Or is it more like the time you knew what you were doing when you took in the guy who stole your checkbook and wrote several checks for cash and then never saw you again?

Help me Grandma. I'm confused. Please...for the love of Christ...give me an example of a time when you KNEW WHAT YOU WERE DOING and it actually benefitted you.

You can't, can you Grandma?

I'm bitching through a keyboard again, aren't I Grandma?

I need to stop this, don't I Grandma?

Anyway...she got pretty snippy about it.

And I'm ready for her if she starts any shit this morning.

We DON'T want a stranger in this house with our child for eight hours...especially when we don't know much about him and the stuff that we DO know about him is all bad.

I'm at the "Take it or leave it" stage with Granny. If she wants to see her grandchild, she's gotta play by my rules. And my rules are...no ex-con illegal alien Communists alone with my son all day.

Sorry.

But I don't think I'm being out of line here.

Oh!

And my brother in law finally paid us back that six grand in full last night!!

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BWAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!

...Sorry...I couldn't resist.

He didn't really pay us back. That was a joke. He's NEVER paying us back!!! He needs that six grand...that college tuition money that should be Andrew's...to feed and clothe their new ex-con buddy!!

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

I've said it before and I will say it again...kids...KNOW YOUR IN-LAWS BEFORE YOU TIE THE KNOT. Know them inside and out. Because you're marrying INTO a family, whether you like it or not. If there's even ONE in-law that you don't care for...throw that engagement ring in your fiance's face and run screaming into the night, never looking back.

Even Osama's family seem to be nice people with lots of money.

Think about it.


So tonight we're going out with my sister and my preacher.

The preacher's wife is on a women's retreat all weekend. And it's his 30th birthday.

I informed my sister of the arrangements last night . She's a bit freaked about playing the Preacher's wife for the night. She wanted to know which would be more appropriate... yelling "Amen!" or yelling "Hallelujah!" upon reaching orgasm.

I'm tellin' you guys....you think I'M weird...


That's really all the news I've got for ya. I've been sitting with the baby for the last 30 minutes, trying to calm his butt down while Mama got ready for work, so I'm running late anyway.

Further updates later today if warranted.

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