current entry older entries message board contact
6:09 a.m. - 2001-10-11

CLOUDY THOUGHTS WHILE TRYING TO WAKE UP

Is it just me or has this past month been about the longest month in the history of time?

It seems like we've been living with the phrase "America Under Attack" for years. It seems like I've typed the name Osama bin Laden since I started this diary. It seems like I've been bitching about my blood sugar since the Internet was invented.

Nope.

It's just been one month.


Trying something new today...making the text a bit larger so that the copy takes up more room, so that people in the army whose names start with something higher than the letter "L" might get a little publicity too.

Because I think Zornog is getting screwed in this whole Army deal.

Zornog sits down there...on the bottom of this godforsaken list, just twiddling his thumbs and waiting for the day somebody comes and checks out HIS diary via Uncle Bob.

It's been a long time, hasn't it Zornie?

So send some lovin' to the Zor Man . Nobody ever shows him love.

My apologies, dude. I'll try to start writing major epics here so that you get a little drive-by hit every now and then too.


I'd like to now share with you the patheticism that is Uncle Bob.

I downloaded a TON of stuff by Opie and Anthony yesterday.

O&A are two radio deejays in the northeast. I had never heard their stuff, didn't even know if it was funny or not.

It was just there...it was free...and I downloaded it.

Say it with me kids...pa-the-tic.


I had a dream last night that I caught a ride to a bar, got really drunk and ended up in a bed in the bar with another couple, completely naked.

The other couple was making out hot and heavy under the sheets. I was a little shy because we were in a public place and because my wife was sitting on a bar stool watching my every move.

So...being the good little dream husband that I am, I kept my hands off the lady's naked frame.

Then, I ended up in a car with a co-worker who lived on the beach, even though she doesn't really. And I was telling her that she was so lucky to live on the beach and she was agreeing. Then she asked me why I smoked pot and I informed her that I USED to smoke pot, but didn't anymore. She introduced me to friends of her father at a bank and then I was lost in a jungle.

Analyze THAT, beeyotch.


As if I don't go to the doctor's office enough myself, I met Susie and Andrew at his doctor's yesterday after work.

Andy's been one fussy little dude lately. He's been congested and just majorly cranky. Miss Robin called Susie from daycare yesterday and said that Andy hadn't been himself...and he wasn't peeing at all.

...Which could mean dehydration...

Luckily, he wasn't dehydrated. The doc, who you could just TELL wanted to get out of the office as soon as humanly possible, looked in his ears, looked at his throat and said he had yet ANOTHER ear infection.

Swell.

So we got him some more medicine and hopefully it will clear up in the next ten days or so. Until then, he's the mayor of Cranky City and we are his Cranky City Council. And I'm ready to overthrow the Mayor.


Watched "Ed" last night.

I thought it was so-so.

You should be able to read my recap of it on Saturday or Sunday, depending on how far backed up the gals at MBTV are with other recaps.


NEW SURVIVOR TONIGHT!!!!!

WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Gawd...I love me some Survivor!!!!


Sorry this wasn't a laugh riot...but I'm tired and am preparing myself mentally for my stress test that will be taking place in less than two hours.

This is where they put me on a treadmill for 90 minutes and then try to stress me out.

I'm guessing they stand there and say things like "Atlanta's in flames!!" or "Your wife is screwing her co-workers!!" or "Your dog will live for ten more years!"

My dog's ass is stinking again. Susie looked at it last night and wanted to puke. It's like her colon's sliding out of her body or something.

I want no part in it. I'm tired of taking her to the doctor every month to have her colon shoved back inside of her. I went through the same thing with Grandma and we finally just let her shit her colon into a Depends and then die. Slippy colons are not worth debating over.

Anyway...no stress there. We'll see what happens in a few hours.

And of course...you will get the complete recap right here in just a few hours.

Because I care.

I care about you.

Well...that and I'm an egotist according to some other diarists.

I'm really not an egotist. I'm just better than they are.

0 comments so far
The last one/The next one


NEW!!!Come and write some BAD EROTICA with the cool kids!

My Diaryland Trading Card
Now go write a Suck Ass Poem™
Write me a note here.
Read my notes here.
Hey! Take the Uncle Bob Quiz!
What the hell! May as well take the wildly popular Uncle Bob Second Quiz too!
Thanks Diaryland
Designed by Lisa


CURRENT - ARCHIVES - MESSAGES - EMAIL


Have you read these?

The End Of Uncle Bob - 12:28 p.m. , 2009-02-19

Losing Focus While Trying To Write A Blog Entry Is Cool. - 1:47 p.m. , 2008-12-04

Buck Up Junior, You Could Be Digging Ditches - 11:36 p.m. , 2008-10-31

That Sinking Feeling - 6:09 a.m. , 2008-10-28

Return Of The Karate Kid And His Slow Kitty-Lovin' Accomplice - 5:44 a.m. , 2008-10-22

Sign up for my Notify List and get email when I update!

email:
powered by
NotifyList.com

HEY YOU!
Click on the button below to order the book "Never Threaten To Eat Your Co-Workers: Best of Blogs" featuring Uncle Bob.
You WON'T be sorry.

DISCLAIMER


Read a random entry of mine.