CIRCUIT CITY EMPLOYEES ARE POLITE, INTELLIGENT AND HONEST. AND I CAN'T BELIEVE I TYPED THAT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE

Hey kiddies!!

Today's the day you get to ALLLLL chime in with a great big "I TOLD YOU SO, UNCLE BOB!!"

Ready??

Here goes!

I TOLD YOU SO, UNCLE BAHHHHHHHHB!!!

Y'see...I've always bought stuff from Circuit City. And up until my most recent computer, I never had problems with it.

And even then...after a few weeks of bitching back and forth with C.C. management, I finally got a decent computer.

So anyway...I buy this TV from Circuit City. I wrote about the hassle of buying it on Monday. Check out the link if you don't believe me, you skeptical little brat.

Basically, they sold me a TV they didn't have in stock when I KNEW they KNEW they didn't have it in stock...they just wanted my money.

So yesterday the TV was s'posed to come in.

At noon, I was s'posed to get a call saying "Come get your stinking TV, Uncle Bob".

By 1 p.m., there was no call.

By 2 p.m., I thought it might be a good idea if I called THEM.

So I called.

And I was shuffled from employee to employee for nine minutes.

Finally, they connect me to the TV department.

"Yeah? TVs?" the guy said. Not hello. Not "Good afternoon". Not "I'm an uneducated dolt that's lucky to have a job but not so lucky that I think I have to answer a phone in a polite and cordial manner."

"Yeah? TVs?"

I explained to the moron that I had purchased a TV in there on Sunday ... they didn't have it in stock and PROMISED ME that it would be in today and I wanted to check and make sure it was there before I came over there.

The guy looks it up on the computer and tells me it didn't come in.

"Will it be in later today?" I ask.

"Nope," he says. "Our shipment's already been here."

"I'd like to speak to a manager," I said.

So the guy hangs up on me. Hangs the fuck up on me. Just hangs the phone up like I had said "Yeah? Goodbye?"

So I call back and go through the operator who's about as cheerful as John Walker Lindh.

She tracks down a manager for me.

I explain to him that they willfully sold me a television that they didn't have and then TOLD ME...NEIGH...PROMISED ME that it would be in today and it's not.

The manager checked the Distribution Center in Atlanta. They had none of the models that I ordered in stock and didn't know when they'd be getting any in.

Soooo...let's review.

They took my fucking money for a fucking TV that they didn't fucking have and had no fucking idea when they would fucking get another fucking one in.

This is just fucking wonderful.

I asked the manager what he could "do" for me.

He hemmed and hawed and said he could get me a Panasonic television for the same price. Same size...same price.

I saw the Panasonic television on the shelf. I wasn't impressed. THAT'S why I bought the RCA, you dolt.

That wasn't good enough for me.

I asked if he had any 36" RCA TVs. I was buying a 32" RCA TV....but 36" was the next step up.

He got excited, getting the smell of more cash in his nostrils.

"Yes sir!" he said. "We've got several of the 36" RCAs in stock!"

"Well then," I said, catching the fly in my web. "If I were in your position, I think I'd be offering me a 36" TV for the same price as the 32" TV for the trouble and distress that you've put me through."

Distress. Like I was deserted on an island or something.

Granted, I knew what he was going to say, but it was worth a try anyway.

"Sir, I can't do that. I can get you a Panasonic, but I can't give you a 36" TV for that price."

I explained to him once again that I wanted an RCA ... NOT a Panasonic.

He said he couldn't help me. I told him that was obvious.

He asked what I wanted to do and I said I'd weigh my options and get back to him on it.

I hung up. I was pissed. Not your normal "pissed". I'm talking industrial strength "Uncle Bob" pissed. The kinda pissed that only lives in this diary....not in my soul.

So I did the unthinkable.

...I called Sears. Where America shops and doesn't get cornholed in the ass every time they buy something.

I asked the kid at Sears if they had the model TV I wanted.

He said they did but it was considerably more expensive than Circuit City.

I asked if he'd match Circuit City's price.

He said they would gladly do that.

Boooooo-yahhhhh.

So Sears got my business. And today at lunch, I get the immense satisfaction of going to Circuit City, finding a manager and cancelling my $600 order, which may not K-Mart the store, but it WILL take a healthy chunk of change out of the salesman's pocket that he's probably already spent on crack and Mad Dog 20/20.

The salesman that sold me a TV that they didn't have and wouldn't be getting.

I don't ask much of my Army. You guys.

But do me a favor. Do NOT buy any major merchandise from Circuit City.

They'll only hurt you in the long run. And there's only so much consoling I'm capable of.

So I now have this huge TV in my den.

Granted, it's only a 32" TV and many of you probably have one at least that size. But to me and my wife who've been squinting at a 20" TV for the last several years, this adds a foot of TV space all around our formerly 20" picture.

Susie immediately said the TV was too big and was giving her a headache.

BLASPHEMY!!!

At that point, I should have probably broken my unwritten rule of never hitting my wife and backhanded her in the chops.

Rule #1....Do NOT insult the new TV.

I spent all night trying to set everything up on it. It has this Guide Plus thing that's supposed to give you a detailed guide of everything on television for the day, but I cannot get that to work for the life of me. I struggled with that stupid guide for four hours last night and it still isn't working this morning.

Ironically, it was that Guide that made me want the RCA TV so badly.

Had I taken the Panasonic like the Circuit Shitty Salesman had offered, I wouldn't be so stressed out over a stupid interactive TV Guide and would just be enjoying a crappy picture right now.

Someday.

Someday I will begin recognizing the errors of my ways.