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5:47 a.m. - 2002-02-28

THE RETURN OF THAT GUY THAT I USED TO BE FRIENDS WITH BUT WE GREW APART BECAUSE I STAYED THE SAME AND HE GOT REALLY REALLY WEIRD

I completely forgot something until last night that filled my soul with dread.

My old friend Scott is coming to town this weekend.

I've written about him before here, but for the newbies, I'll try to quickly recap our relationship.

We were once close as brothers.

He then married a girl that I didn't care for and she didn't care for me.

He moved about an hour north of here, so we saw each other less and less.

Every time I did see him, I realized just how really weird he really was.

He then moved to Indiana with his wife.

They had a baby.

And he got weirder. He made his wife work while he decided to stay home, raise the baby and write the great American novel.

They sold their house and all their worldly possessions to fund a three month vacation to see the country in a rusted trailer that they bought. Scott planned on writing that great American novel on the road.

After seeing the country and three hours from home, he wrecks the car, sending the trailer flipping down the interstate, destroying everything they still owned.

Penniless and homeless, they moved in with her parents.

He finished his great American novel and gave me a copy. The only thing I could think as I read it was "A tree had to give its life for THIS?!?"

He got a job as a counter person in a battery store.

Every few months, he would drive the nine hours from Indiana to here to buy a bag of pot because he still liked smoking pot and I could always find him some. The pot made him "write better". Personally, I think the pot killed the pain of discovering that he had the writing skills of a rock.

The last time I saw him was January 2001. I warned him before he came down that I no longer smoked pot and if he was coming to get a bag, he was in for a rude awakening.

He didn't take me seriously. Why should he? At one point, I was the biggest pothead you'd ever hope to meet.

He came down here.

I had no pot.

That put an end to the frequent road trips from Indiana to Alabama.

He called Sunday while I was in church and Susie was home with a sick baby.

He told Susie that he'd get here early Friday morning and wanted to see us.

Friday night, Susie and I are going to the Junior League Rummage Sale to look for stuff for the kid.

Afterwards, we're dropping him off at church and going out with some friends.

Saturday, I've got to write my recap of Ed for Television Without Pity.

Saturday night, we're going out with some people from Susie's job.

Sunday, I've got four meetings at church. One at 8 a.m. One at 10:30 a.m. (actually...it's church) and another at 4 with another at 5.

Sooooo...I don't really have time to see the guy. And I'm sure he's been writing something that he's going to want my opinion on. So I'm going to have to find the time to have him over here (he's staying with a mutual friend of ours), look at his latest foray into becoming a novelist, and trying to find something constructive to say about a book which has sentences like "And then Judy died. She died a long, slow, painless death. She died, died, died. Everyone knew she was dying and they just stood there watching her die, die, die. Goodbye Judy. Don't die too hard."

Damn. I tried. I can't even write as bad as he does as a joke.

Anyway...he's coming. Which means I've got to humor the guy like a little baby for several hours at least once this weekend.

I'm bummed.


Andrew's latest discovery ... that he can turn around in circles twice, get dizzy and fall forward.

I'm sure he probably learned this at daycare. Still, it's amusing.

He sticks his left arm out for some ungodly reason, gets his big "I'm About To Start Spinning" grin on his face, and then sloooooowly turns around in circles.

Last night he made it up to three circles turned around before falling and laughing hysterically. That was his record.

I love the boy.


After yesterday's thrilling description of my wackassed hairdressing adventure, a few of you wanted to see my master hair cutting skills for yourself.

And ain't it just like me to oblige?

Here's your before picture of the kid...

You can barely tell, but there's some curls in the back of his head. Sorry. This picture was taken a few days ago. It's not like I had the foresight to say to myself "Gee, I really need a picture of the back of my kid's head for that day when I finally cut those curls off his head and need to show the people in Diaryland."

I know, I know...I NEVER think of you guys, do I?

Here's the after picture, taken last night.

See??

I don't think it looks too bad. It coulda been worse. There could be big bloody scabs there from where he jerked his head around as I cut his hair.

There are none.

So I'm a happy camper.


I half-heartedly watched the Grammys last night.

I'm not into music like I used to be. I never thought I'd see the day when I hadn't heard any of the albums nominated for Album of the Year.

And I've heard some of U2's album, but what I heard I didn't like.

The rest of them? Never heard them.

And the reason for this?

That damned internet.

Since anybody with a cable modem can now get whatever they want for free, I usually find myself downloading stuff that I haven't heard in years rather than new stuff.

And if I DO download new stuff, I usually download the whole album. And then I listen to it once and download another album. Without really giving the first album any kind of attention other than that one time listen

It's weird.

I can't explain it.

I know that the only albums I've heard lately that I've listened to more than once is Ryan Adams' "Gold" and "The Rebirth of Kirk Franklin".

Neither one was up for a Grammy.

Which would explain my boredom with the show.


I received my travel itinerary for my trip to Boise in about a month.

I'm going through Atlanta to Salt Lake City to Boise.

I have one 90 minute layover in Atlanta. Other than that, any layover I have going there and coming back is about 30 minutes long.

I've been in the Atlanta airport. It's next to IMPOSSIBLE to get from one gate to another in 30 minutes.

I'm a bit jittery about that.

I'm a bit boring about everything else.

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