BEHOLD THE WORLD'S SMARTEST TODDLER

Did I tell you Andrew can count to ten now?

Yes?

No?

Maybe, but we both forgot about it because our lives admittedly revolve around more than my kid's amazing counting skills??

Well he can.

It comes out like this � "Mun�Two�Fee�.(silence at this point since he still hasn't figured out "four". He just looks at us in quiet desperation to say "four" so that he can continue)�Fye � Sick � sebben � eight�.NINE (he always yells "Nine" for some reason) � tehh"

It's so amazing that it's damned near scary. I'm not sure exactly at what age children learn to count to ten, but isn't it like somewhere around age 15 or so?

He's a miracle baby at two years and four months.

He's my miniature Steven Hawking.

...With less drool, of course.

Before anybody misunderstands me even more, let me clarify � I am in full support of our military.

Yesterday's witless entry portraying George Bush as a John Wayne-type was more a dig in the fact that he said that Saddam had 48 hours to get out of Dodge. It sounded like something John Wayne would say.

I'm not a big fan of military action against Iraq at this juncture. But since it looks like we're going to war regardless of my feelings about the war, I can only hope that the war moves as swiftly as the Gulf War�except this time I hope the President actually FINISHES the job if you get my drift and if you don't, I mean I hope we KILL SADDAM.

Bush is going to look like a fool if we let Saddam slip away like we let Osama slip away. Finish the job, Georgie! For once in your presidential career, finish the f'n job.

But the military guys and gals over there � they deserve 100% of our support and get it from me. They're the ones leaving their families behind and not knowing what the future holds for them.

So to the anonymous prickweed who thought they'd lob a slam at Uncle Bob on my message board yesterday�eat my dick, you fucking piece of anonymous chicken shit garbage.

Tee hee!

Speaking of which, Edweird and I went to Tony Roma's for lunch yesterday and a group of military guys in fatigues were seated behind us.

At one point, I heard one of them tell the waitress, "Hey, we're fighting for your country two days from now. How about a free appetizer?"

I'm not sure if they got one or not.

But if they did, next time I go in there, I'm going to say "Hey, I write coffee table books so that your country looks nicer. Can ya slide me a few extra Buffalo wings?"

It doesn't hurt to try, y'know.

Oh!

Susie was offered the job that she went on the interview for a few weeks ago.

It's a decent amount more than what she's making now � but the hours are rougher.

Basically, it's 7 a.m. until 5 p.m. Mon-Tues, Thurs-Friday and 10 a.m.-9 p.m. on Wednesdays.

Then every other Saturday she'd go in from 8-noon to do payroll.

We're not sure if she's going to take the position yet. We weighed the pros and cons of taking this job versus staying where she's at last night and it's about equal.

She says she "hates" her current job, but I think she's just frustrated with her boss and the fact that she's been doing the exact same job, working with the exact same Alabama rednecks for nine years.

But she'd go from working a 40 hour work week to a 51+ hour work week.

In July, the position would become a management position where she would get another raise.

Whereas at her current job, she got a lower raise than the four people below her�the people that she herself trained. All because her boss has it in for her.

So we'll see what happens in that department.

I guess I'd better be getting her up now before she's late for the job she hates.

Talk to ya tomorrow.

USA! USA! and all that shit.