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5:25 a.m. - 2003-06-23

MORE NEWS THAN YOU SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO READ

I finished the new Harry Potter book last night.

Man oh man.

I STILL can't believe that Harry dies at the end.

I just wonder why the author killed him off.

Bummer.


In a fit of sexual inspiration, I shaved my armpits yesterday.

Well, I really only shaved one armpit.

And it wasn't really "sexual inspiration".

My sunburn under my arm is peeling pretty bad and I kept getting little balls of dead skin stuck in my armpit hair like little dead skin dingleberries.

And it would really smart every time I tried to remove them.

So I was in the shower, saw the wife's razor and shaving cream.

And now I'm all sleek and sexy under my arm.

You know.

If you can look past the patch of bright red dead skin blotches.


I took my Father's Day present back Saturday night.

Susie had originally got me a DVD/VCR combo.

I had asked for a cheap assed home theater system.

We compromised and I got a five disc DVD player for the bedroom.

Which is hardly a compromise.

I mean ... it isn't a home theater system.

But we're both happy that now we can watch DVDs in bed that don't have Wiggles or a cartoon dog named Blue that needs us to solve clues to figure out what the hell it wants or follow that ignorant-assed Dora the Explorer and her even more ignorant monkey Boots all around the globe.

I bought the DVD "Standing In The Shadows of Motown" which I watched four times this weekend.

You know...when I wasn't absorbing every single Irritable Magpie that Harry Potter was battling.

Or shaving my armpits.

Anyway, it's a nifty little documentary about the Funk Brothers who were the musicians who played on damned near every single Motown hit in the 50s and 60s and never received an ounce of recognition until this film came out and then they hardly received any recognition because nobody went to see the film.

You sit there and watch these old guys and wish that there was something you could do to help them get their due in life.

But they're (for the most part) not bitter that the world has passed them by without ever saying "Good job, guys".

Definitely worth a rental.

And it's got Ben Harper in it.

He's one sexy mofo.

But I bet he doesn't shave his armpits.


I made the BEST barbecued chicken last night.

If nothing else, it was simply gorgeous chicken. Golden brown and JUICY.

Dad gave me the recipe. He's got a pretty high position in the corporation he's currently with ... but they REALLY keep him around because every Friday, he cooks lunch for everyone and it's usually a barbecue since the company bought him a huge smoker grill thing to cook on.

So he gave me his secret chicken recipe.

Man.

I'd keep his ass around too if he made me this stuff every Friday for lunch.


I got a call from my cousin the other day.

He and his wife are coming down from Illinois to spend a few days with us.

He and I were like brothers growing up. He's six months younger than me and we were inseperable the first 10-12 years of our lives.

Then we moved away to Tennessee and were split up.

But during the summer months, he'd move down and live with us for a few years so we could hang out.

In the last 20 years, I've seen him twice.

The last time was seven years ago for a weekend when he got married.

Anyway, we're both really looking forward to our "reunion" of sorts.

I just hope he's moved past that whole "Climb trees and read comic books" stage.


Mattie Gee turned me on to this new game on the internet.

It's called Virtual Drug Dealer and currently, my high score is $8,222,323.

At first, the game's kinda boring as you learn how to play. But once you figure it out (Buy low and sell high), it's ... dare I say it ... addictive.

Some tips for you if you decide to play:

Buy as much acid as you can when it's less than $2,000. Sell it when it's around $5,000.

That'll help you get established in the game.

See?

I bet you never thought you'd come here and learn how to be a successful drug dealer, did you?

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