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6:05 a.m. - 2003-07-03

BARTENDER, ANOTHER ROUND OF MISERY FOR MY FRIENDS IF YOU PLEASE

So you're sitting there and you're wondering to yourself, "I wonder what Uncle Bob's most memorable 4th of Julys would be?"

And just as I'm about ready to type it all out for you, it dawns on me that I've already done that two years ago.

I've already told you guys everything there is to know about me.

And the last few days have been so incredibly boring that they're certainly not worth sharing with you.

Yesterday I had to go to the state capitol for business and dashed up the 1,174 steps out front because I was running late.

I got inside there and was greeted by someone and I was so winded because I'm so out of shape that I thought I was going to faint.

Ha! Ha!

Pretty funny, huh?

My fat ass trying to act like those 27,459 steps out front didn't bother me in the least, yet I'm hardly able to talk without sounding like a dying Russian asthmatic.

Tee hee, huh??

Yeah right.


My boss told me yesterday that I've got to go to yet another weeklong seminar next month.

I can stand being gone 2-3 days from home. After that, I'm stir crazy.

Granted, these things are fun that I go to and they take good care of us because we're in the tourism industry and the cities that host us want to make sure that we only see, stay and eat in the best places in town.

But I just hate being away from home for more than three days.


No real big plans for the 4th of July this year.

I'm off, but Susie has to go in and cook for the employees at her work because when they have to work on holidays, they demand that management feed them.

Then ... well ... I said I'm "off", but I volunteered to work in the city's Visitor Center tomorrow night because the city's Fireworks Show will take place right outside the Center and I felt that it needed to be open since thousands of people will be gathered outside of it.

I was told that if I thought it needed to be open, perhaps I should be the one opening it, since it was a holiday and everyone else wanted the time off to be with their families.

So I said "Fine. I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'll do it because I think it's important to do."

They said "Fine. Do it."

I said "Fine. I will."

They said "Fine."

I said "Fine."

We stuck our tongues out at each other and now I'm going to be in charge of the Visitor Center for one night.

There had damned well better be some traffic coming through there if they know what's good for them.

Damned non-visiting bastards.


That's it for me. I'm late getting this out this morning anyway, so I'll leave it at that.

Hope everyone has a safe and happy Independence Day tomorrow.

And in the words of my dear sweet mother, "Don't blow your goddamned fingers off."

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