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5:57 a.m. - 2003-09-05

ABOUT SCHIT

So my wife really wanted to watch "About Schmidt" last night because it's all I've been talking about all week.

How I cried while watching it on Monday. How it reminded me of my family, her and Andrew. How it had its funny moments but was heart-wrenching at the end.

She came home from work and said "We HAVE to watch this movie!"

So uhhhh...color her unimpressed.

It didn't help matters that the movie is two hours long and that's a long time to preoccupy a two year-old boy in another room by himself.

I sat him down on our bed and put in "Monsters, Inc." his all-time favorite movie.

He watched it for 30 minutes and got bored so he came out and started tugging on our arms, wanting us to hang out with him.

I then moved him into our office, put a Baby Doolittle DVD in the computer, put it on "Repeat Play" and let him sit here at the desk and watch his show.

This held his attention longer than Monsters Inc.

Long story short...the last scene of "About Schmidt" is the one that had me sobbing.

It gets to that moment in the film after we had started and stopped the movie several times.

Just as the scene reaches its peak...

.....WHAM!!!

We hear a horrible racket from the office followed by some crying.

Once again, Andrew had defied me and was standing up in the desk chair, dancing to the music on his DVD.

He leaned on the back of the chair and it toppled over onto the floor.

He wasn't hurt, but just scared shitless.

So 10 minutes were spent consoling him.

He finally calmed down and we restarted the movie halfway through the last scene that had me in tears. There were literally 30 seconds left in the film.

It was very anticlimactic to say the least.

The credits start to roll, and instead of Susie reaching for Kleenex, she just said "Huh."

I'm all ... "Wasn't that SAD?!?"

And she's all "I dunno. I guess so."

Damned kid dancing around in the chair and toppling over and giving himself a mild concussion ruining my movie!

That's one thing you give up when you become a parent. The simple joy of watching a movie without interuption.

In that respect, little kids are like telemarketers. They're constantly badgering you at the most inopportune times.

Thank God for sound proof closets and duct tape though, huh?

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