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5:58 a.m. - 2003-11-07
1) I masturbate to autopsy photos of Lisa "Third Eye" Lopes. 2) I've had sex with my cousin. Before she lost all that weight on the Atkins Diet. 3) I videotaped an orgy with the Hilton Sisters and the Olsen Twins. 4) My semen has been chunky lately. Gallstones, anyone? 5) I have a horny sister. Not that I've ever helped her relieve sexual tension. Just thought I'd throw that out there. 6) I wear adult diapers. But not for the reasons you would think. 7) Uncle Bob's Diary is lame. 8) I enjoy tickling my ass with feathers aimlessly while watching Martha Stewart. 9) Eliza Dushku once gave me a blow job in a Turkish bath while the midgets from "The Wizard of Oz" cheered, and, of course, masturbated. 10) My penis is bigger than Milton Berle's penis. I know I've given the guy a lot of crap here lately, but Genghis Jon could really use some loving today. I cannot imagine what the guy's going through right now. After reading his entry today, it made me go in to my son's bedroom, hug him and take a really long look at his face. I'm outta here...gotta go rock the casbah. Rock the casbah. You guys have a great weekend.
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