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5:28 a.m. - 2004-04-02

BUY THE BOOK! SKIP THE MOVIE!

Hey!

Don't buy that book I'm featured in yet!!

I found out through the editor of the book that there's a way for me to make money from Amazon if I guide you crazy bastards (and bitches) to buying the book via this diary.

And right now ... hell ... I'll be honest ... my bitch ass needs to be making some extra scratch pronto.

So if you love me ... really REALLY love me ... buy this new Best of Blogs book through me and put an extra 30 cents in my pocket with each book sold!!

I'll have a link up by Monday.

May even have it up today.

Who knows??

(Yo ... there's your link to the right of the page. Now you have no excuse but to order the book and help me pay my mortgage.)


I guess it might help entice you to buy the book if I tell you a little bit about it.

Well okay. Fine.

It's called "Never Threaten To Eat Your Co-Workers: Best of Blogs" and it's named after my entry from a few months ago.

I think we've already covered that, haven't we?

I mean, I know we have, but several people read the diary the other day before I later added that announcement.

It's also currently #2,638,481 on the Amazon Sales Ranking Thing.

Isn't that amazing???

With all the stuff that Amazon sells on the site, it only has 2,638,480 things that are selling better!!

Pretty impressive, huh?

Actually, I guess it's not.

I just tried to find something that the book is outselling and came up empty-handed.

But hey ... it's not even officially released yet!!

So that's pretty good for a book that's not even on the streets yet, right?

Right?!?

Wait!!!

We ARE outselling Nuclear cooperation with the European Community : communication from the President of the United States transmitting his determination that continued nuclear cooperation with the European Atomic Energy Community (EURATOM) is needed in order to achieve U.S. nonproliferation objectives and to protect our common defense and security, pursuant to 42 U.S.C. 2155(a)(2) (SuDoc Y 1.1/7:102-200) by the U.S. Congressional Budget Office!!!

HA!!

IN YOUR FACE, U.S. CONGRESSIONAL BUDGET OFFICE!!!

You don't even HAVE a ranking!!!

DOUBLE HA!!!

I bet there'll be mucho cursing of the Bobber's name around THAT budget office this morning!

Heeeeee!!!


So yeah, the book has some unknown writers in it (me) along with some big names like Wil F'n Wheaton and some guy that was on one of the "Real World" shows.

BIG names, I'm tellin' ya!

But of course, everyone's favorite journaller (me) gets props on the name of the book.

Not just because it's named after my entry.

But check out the subtitle: "Best of Blogs".

Best Of Blogs.

B-O-B.

Bob.

Yep.

It's subtle.

But it's there.

Sure, they could have subtitled it "Best of THE Blogs".

But then it wouldn't be paying homage to ME, would it?

Heh.

Is this what they mean when psychologists refer to "delusions of grandeur"?

Did I even get that phrase right?


Of course, Hollywood has already come knocking, wanting to turn the book into a movie.

From what I understand, Brad Pitt wants to play me.

How ironic that Brad Pitt is now sniffing around my doorstep wanting me to work with him rather than trying to sue my ass off for writing a parody diary and accidentally using his name in it on a daily basis!!

HA!

Well, let me tell YOU something, Mr. Anniston ...

....Okay.

You can play me.

Just do it in one of those thick Irish accents you're so good at.

Even though I don't have a hint of Irish blood in me.

I just think it'd be funny if the celluloid Uncle Bob was Brad Pitt speaking in unintelligble sentence fragments.

It'd crack MY shit up anyway.

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