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6:52 a.m. - 2004-11-11

TABLE FOR TWO ... HOLD THE BITCH PLEASE


So I watch this new reality show on Spike TV last night called "The Club" which is about a nightclub in Las Vegas that's trying to become a hot spot.

I'm watching it because I work in a nightclub.

Just like doctors probably watch "ER", lawyers probably watch "Boston Legal", crack whores probably watch "The Anna Nicole Show" and nerds who live in their parents' basement watch "Star Trek".

Anyway, the debut episode last night revolved around this girl who was a hot shot club promoter from Los Angeles who was hired to be "The Club"s new promoter.

This girl was an unapologetic bitch from hell.

She made a point of showing up one night with Rod Stewart's son ... as if that's really going to turn the club around and make it a huge success.

She told every one of the employees ... "This is Rod Stewart's SON for God's sakes! He should be treated like royalty and have his ass kissed the entire time he's here!!"

Ummmm...why?

Run it by me again, Sweetie ... this is Rod Stewart's SON ... right?

NOT Rod Stewart.

But his untalented son who looks like a junkie doing a really bad Rod Stewart impression.

And we're supposed to kiss his ass ... why?

Then she goes off on a tirade because nobody's been by her table WITH ROD STEWART'S SON to check if they need new drinks in the last 20 minutes.

She even tells the manager (her boss) that if she doesn't get a waitress in the next 2 seconds, she's leaving.

He basically tells her to not let the door hit her in the ass.

Two points for the club manager.

Anyway, I liked the show just like nerds who live in their parents' basement like to masturbate to kiddy porn.

(There's an extra hundred hits from Google!)



My new job is fine.

I really like the fact that I can just drive around for 5-6 hours of the day and listen to old cassette tapes.

See, I drive the mini-van around town and we never bothered to put a CD player in there, so I dug out my old cassettes and have been having fun listening to those.

I even found the long lost recording of Little Bobby and the Danger Zone.

This was the band that I sang with in the early 80s. Our big claim to fame was that we were supposed to open for Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five at one point ... but our manager had lied to us and had never officially booked the gig, so we sued him.

Anyway, the recording was made on a night when we were acting as a Blues Brothers Tribute Band.

This was right after John Belushi died, and at the time, college students were doing everything they could to pay tribute to the guy. Mostly they were drinking gallons of alcohol and vomiting up their intestines. We went the musical route.

The night of the recording, I had one broken ankle and one sprained ankle.

(I was very accident-prone back in my college days)

To alleviate the pain and get me through the evening, I didn't take aspirin.

I took two hits of acid.

Once again ... paying tribute to Belushi in my own little way.

The rest of the band were very straight-laced good Straight-A college students.

While I was the Slash of the band.

So rather than trying to sound like John Belushi on the recording, I'm growling and screaming like Alice Cooper with his foot caught in a bear trap.

The band broke up soon after the gig.

Listening to the tape 22 years later, I think I finally figured out why.

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