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6:36 a.m. - 2005-01-07

DUDLEY? MICHAEL?? MARY TYLER???

I got home early last night from the club because we had maybe 20 people in there all night long and the manager decided that rather than prolong the agony of entertaining these 20 fuckers, I could carry my ass on home.

And get paid the full amount for the evening.

Works for me.

Get home about 11:00 and Andrew and Mommy are still up.

"Why isn't he in bed?" I asked. "It's late."

"He's freaking out about something," she said.

"What's wrong Andrew?" I asked.

"No Moore ate bees!" he shouted.

"What?" I asked.

"He's been saying that off and on for hours," Susie said.

"No Moore ate bees! No Moore ate bees!! No. Moore. Ate. Beeeeeeeeees," Andrew shouted and then slowly drawled.

"What is he saying?" Susie asked.

"It's that stupid Blockbuster commercial," I told her as I tucked him in. "No more late fees."

"No Moore Ate Bees!" Andrew confirmed.

"Go to sleep, Blockbuster Breath," I said as I shut out his light.

"No more ate bees," he peeped one last time before going to sleep.



As we all know by now ... George W. Bush is the devil.

I mean ... that's clearly understood ... right??

Even those of you who voted for him know that he's Satan incarnate ... right?

Okay. That's established then.

But here ... thanks to a reader named Mya ... is solid evidence of which dark lord W (The president) answers to ....

ALL HAIL THE DARK LORD, LAURA BUSH!!!

I mean ... it all makes sense now ... remember when George W./Satan invited Ozzy Osbourne to the White House??

Was it to capitalize on the youth vote since Ozzy had a hot MTV show at the time?

NO!!

It was to get out the Ouija board behind closed doors and let the Bushs and Osbournes try to connect with SATAN!!!

Because Laura and George are SATANIC LORDS!!!

I mean ... the photo proves it ... right??

Pictures don't lie.

The internet ... no lying there.

Uncle Bob ... one trustworthy mofo.

It all adds up.

You keep hailing Satan there, Laura.

Headbang yourself all the way to hell, m'dear.

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