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7:03 a.m. - 2005-01-18

SOMEWHERE, OEDIPUS IS SNICKERING


For those of you who are dedicated stalkers of Uncle Bob who must know every intricate detail of his life and those around him ... my dad got his first home computer back in October.

Since then, the only emails I've received from him are those forwarded video clips that others send to him that he deems funny enough to send to me.

You know the ones ... the monkey scratching his ass, sniffing his fingers and falling out of the tree ... that video we all saw for the first time seven years ago ... Dad's just getting his first whiff of monkey ass now.

I've been having a tough time dealing with this because ... what do you write back?

"HA!! Wow Dad ... a monkey sniffing his ass-coated fingers! That's a hoot!! Got any more?!?"

I mean ... I'd type "LOL!" and send it back to him but then he'd be all "What's lol mean?"

So this has been going on for a few months ... him sending me videos, me sending him semi-encouraging emails back about the videos ... and him bombarding me with MORE videos.

However, lately the emails have gotten rather ... risque ... with an apostrophe in there somewhere.

He sent me a joke ... not an email ... about some couple driving down the road and they see a baby skunk on the side of the road, so they pick it up and it's freezing and the woman says "We need to keep it warm" and the man says "Put it between your legs" and the woman says "What about the smell?" and the guy says "Hold its nose".

Obviously Dad found this funny.

But now I'm all worried that my mom's vagina stinks and that Dad relates to the joke.

I've only been near my mom's vagina once and that was 43 years ago (tomorrow!!!) when I was born and frankly, I don't remember much of a unhygenic scent.

So what do I write back now?

"That's funny Dad, but let me just ask ... do you find this joke more ironic than amusing because Mom's poontang reeks?"

Life.

It's always a quandary for me.

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