PARTING IS SUCH SWEET BLISS

Today is Susie's last day at Lowe's.

There. I said it. She works/worked at Lowe's.

I'm going to miss the employee discount and that's about it. The working 6 a.m. to 12:30 a.m. shifts? Not so much.

She's taking the rest of the week off to just relax before starting her new job next Monday.

She's really pumped about this ... bouncing off the walls that she can finally work an 8 to 5 schedule with no weekends.

We're going out tonight to celebrate her freedom from the corporate monster.

I asked her if she plans on crying when she turns out her office lights for the last time and she said "Yeah. Tears of joy."

Good riddance Lowe's.

Hope you rot in hell.

You can find the links near the bottom of the page.

I ain't linkin' 'em here.

Ain't got the time, pardner.

But what I've heard I've liked. A lot.

It's nice to have an actual copy of "Pieces of Aaliyah" that doesn't sound like a bootleg made off of a fourth generation cassette.

Lemme say this ... Disco the Kid is probably the most talented guy in Diaryland.

Porky has his shit together too though. That guy's a phenomenal artist and master of the penis puppetry.

I can make a mean mix tape.

And that's about it.

And hell. Even Dangerous Spouse Dude can do that better than me.

I'm such a goddamned failure when it comes to extracurricular activities.

OOOOOO!!

I can edge a driveway with the best of 'em.

Grass creeping up the sides of your driveway???

CALL ME! CALL ME!

I CAN FIX THAT SHIT!!

Not really.

I'm probably just an average driveway edger.

Didn't mean to get you all excited there for a second.

And now, I shall share my recipe with you.

I took a box of that frozen fried shrimp shit ... I think it's Seapak brand or something.

Take some Frank's Hot Sauce located near the Tabasco sauce in your grocer's aisle.

Mix in some butter ... don't worry ... the exact recipe is on the back of the Frank's bottle.

Bake the shrimp then toss it in the hot sauce and butter.

Damned tasty shrimp.

You can do it with chicken too.

Or just about anything you'd want buffalo sauce on.

Buffalo brownies.

Hell, I dunno.

..........Alright goddammit.

This is the LAST time I update twice on the weekends, 'cos I ain't got shit to say today.

Peace out.

WAIT!!!

I forgot, I forgot.

Watched that VH1 special "Remaking Vanilla Ice" last night.

That was the BIGGEST waste of an hour I think I've ever watched.

I hate to spoil it for those of you who actually want to see it at a later date ... but this isn't much of a spoiler.

Vanilla Ice is a colossal asshole.

I'm talking HUGE.

Find out when the special airs again (if ever ... you'll see) and watch it.

This guy puts the "dick" in dick.

I'll be shocked if anybody has anything to do with him in the entertainment industry after this debacle.

His career will be ice. Ice, baby after this.

Colder than it is already.

Fucker.