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7:26 a.m. - 2005-05-17

UNCLE BOB'S MEDIA WATCH

Only a few more days and the new Star Wars movie opens up.

This is also the LAST Star Wars movie so there's a damned good chance most movie theaters on this planet are going to be overflowing with bawling nerds.

Expect the suicide rate of geeks to raise dramatically in the upcoming weeks as they realize their lives are over.


You know ... kinda like I am when "Survivor" ends each season.

Christ.

I'm SUCH a nerd myself.



Hey ... guess what, CBS???

Not EVERYONE loved Raymond.

I tried to watch the 90 minute ultra-special spectacular last night because ... and I'm not afraid to admit this in the least ... I have NEVER watched a full episode of the show in its nine years.

I just never found it funny ... overbearing Mom ... dumbass Dad ... loud brother ... cranky sexpot wife ... I get it.

I watched it all the way through for the first time and realized ... ugh. What a sad waste of talent.

So you know what, Raymond?? Do you know what???

I sooooo do not love you.

Maybe in your next show I'll love you. I'm sure you're a nice guy in real life.

But your show was not funny in my opinion.

Now Survivor ... THAT'S a funny show!!

...You know ... at times.



I also watched "The Amazing Race"'s finale last week marking the first time I've watched a full episode of THAT show.

While it wasn't as disappointing as "Everybody Thinks Raymond's Funny Only Because They Only Have One Channel That Works Properly On Their 1964 Black & White Television With Rabbit Ear Antennas", I couldn't watch The Amazing Race every week.

It just made me uncomfortable.

Racing here, racing there, running, flying, driving recklessly ... too hectic and fast paced for me.

I was all "Slow down, people!! There's no need to hurry!!"

But that's what the show's all about ... hurrying.

Hurry here, hurry there.

Hurry in your underwear.

(Sorry ... channeling Dr. Seuss this morning...)

What they need to do is take a page out of the Survivor handbook.

Slow down and eat a rat every now and then.

Rat.

It does a body good.

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