HARRY POTTER IS DEAD AND I'M NOT FEELING TOO GOOD MYSELF

Oh.

My.

God.

I am still reeling after finishing "Harry Potter and the Two-Bit Whore" last night and finding out that the rumors are true ... that saucy Brit killed Harry Potter off in this book.

And it's not even the last in the series.

No, dear friends ... we now must wait until the last book which is due sometime in 2011 to find out just how the heck she plans on resurrecting the Potter.

Harry Potter is dead.

And I am still in shock.

Oops!

I sure hope nobody's reading the new book and hasn't finished it yet!

Boy, would I feel silly letting the cat out of the bag or what??

Yeah.

That was a couple of weeks ago.

Now I get "Oh, I HAVE your computer. I'm just working on it when I have the time to put all the bells and whistles on it."

"I don't need bells and whistles."

"But don't you want Super FireStuffer 2006 on it?"

"I don't think so. What does that do?"

"It blocks pop-up ads AAAAAAAND you can order Chinese takeout from anywhere in the world with it."

"I never leave the house. Just gimme the computer please."

"I should have it ready by Sunday. Do you want to grill some ribs on Sunday and I'll bring it over and hook it up for you?"

"Yeah, sure. Just .... Sunday. Okay?? I want the computer if I'm cooking ribs."

"I'll have it ready by Sunday."

"Okay."

"Do you want Airfox Command Wallsafe Foccacia Bulletproof Snotbucket on your new computer?"

"Just ... no. I just need it to hold my music files. That's all. I don't need games or programs or anything like that. Just MP3s."

"Gotcha."

"Sunday ... right?"

"Sunday."

"Okay. Because you told me I'd have it weeks ago."

"I know. Sunday."

"Sunday."

"Sunday."

"I feel like I should say something about monster trucks after hearing 'Sunday' three times in a row."

"BWAHAHAHAHAAHAAA!! BWAHAHAAHAHAAHAAA!"

*CLICK*