TIS THE SEASON TO BE BALLSY

I'm not sure of all the traditions that go with Kwanzaa as it's only been around for like two years or something, so we're going to make up our own traditions.

First ... it is important that the man of the house receives the most presents including (but not limited to) meat byproducts, electronic gadgets and the occasional impromptu titty fuck administered by the female of his choice.

There really is no "Second".

HAPPY KWANZAA, MUTHAPHUCKAS!!!

I'm trying to write a Kwanzaa rap because I think the little kids that are forced to celebrate Kwanzaa should have something to rap about on Kwanzaa morning.

So far, all I've got is this:

"Another day, another dolla (dolla)-same block, same nigga, same part, same green
I guess we got the same dreams (Ayy)
Or is it the same nightmares (nightmares)
We let the Thugs do it for us--we don't cry tears (That's right)
Real niggaz don't budge
When Mail Man got his time he shot birds at the judge (Yeah)
I'm knee deep in the game
So when it's time to read up, I'm knee deep in the cane (Damn)
Real talk, Look, I'm tellin' you mayne (tellin' you mayne)
If you get jammed up don't mention my name
Forgive me Lord--I know I aint livin' right
Gotta feed the block, niggaz starvin', they got appitites (Ayy)
And this is er'day, it never gets old (Old)
Thought I was a juvenile stuck to the G-Code (Yeah)
This aint a rap song, nigga this is my life (this is my life)
And if the hood was a battlefield then I'd earn stripes (Yeah)"

I've got a few more days left 'til Kwanzaa to teach it to Andrew so he can serenade me on Kwanzaa morn.

Hey!

Still wondering why Dave Chappelle just up and quit his show, giving up $50 million in the process?

If you have about 20 minutes to read it, there's a fascinating explanation for his abrupt actions here.

My favorite part is when he wakes up in the middle of the night to find a huge man on his chest with a gun in his face and Oprah Winfrey standing by the side of his bed threatening him to stop his show at once.

Yep.

A mighty interesting read.

So this is probably it before the holidays ... I'm just not into writing anything here lately because Im just too busy worshipping whatever it is the Kwanzaa people worship at this time of year.

Personally ... I'm kneeling down in front of a portrait of Fred Sanford.

Happy Kwanzaa, you big dummy!