current entry older entries message board contact
6:18 a.m. - 2005-12-21

TIS THE SEASON TO BE BALLSY


I have made the decision that instead of celebrating Christmas this year, my family will be celebrating Kwanzaa.

I'm not sure of all the traditions that go with Kwanzaa as it's only been around for like two years or something, so we're going to make up our own traditions.

First ... it is important that the man of the house receives the most presents including (but not limited to) meat byproducts, electronic gadgets and the occasional impromptu titty fuck administered by the female of his choice.

There really is no "Second".


HAPPY KWANZAA, MUTHAPHUCKAS!!!

I'm trying to write a Kwanzaa rap because I think the little kids that are forced to celebrate Kwanzaa should have something to rap about on Kwanzaa morning.

So far, all I've got is this:

"Another day, another dolla (dolla)-same block, same nigga, same part, same green
I guess we got the same dreams (Ayy)
Or is it the same nightmares (nightmares)
We let the Thugs do it for us--we don't cry tears (That's right)
Real niggaz don't budge
When Mail Man got his time he shot birds at the judge (Yeah)
I'm knee deep in the game
So when it's time to read up, I'm knee deep in the cane (Damn)
Real talk, Look, I'm tellin' you mayne (tellin' you mayne)
If you get jammed up don't mention my name
Forgive me Lord--I know I aint livin' right
Gotta feed the block, niggaz starvin', they got appitites (Ayy)
And this is er'day, it never gets old (Old)
Thought I was a juvenile stuck to the G-Code (Yeah)
This aint a rap song, nigga this is my life (this is my life)
And if the hood was a battlefield then I'd earn stripes (Yeah)"

I've got a few more days left 'til Kwanzaa to teach it to Andrew so he can serenade me on Kwanzaa morn.


Hey!

Still wondering why Dave Chappelle just up and quit his show, giving up $50 million in the process?

If you have about 20 minutes to read it, there's a fascinating explanation for his abrupt actions here.

My favorite part is when he wakes up in the middle of the night to find a huge man on his chest with a gun in his face and Oprah Winfrey standing by the side of his bed threatening him to stop his show at once.

Yep.

A mighty interesting read.


So this is probably it before the holidays ... I'm just not into writing anything here lately because Im just too busy worshipping whatever it is the Kwanzaa people worship at this time of year.

Personally ... I'm kneeling down in front of a portrait of Fred Sanford.


Happy Kwanzaa, you big dummy!


32 comments so far
The last one/The next one


NEW!!!Come and write some BAD EROTICA with the cool kids!

My Diaryland Trading Card
Now go write a Suck Ass Poem™
Write me a note here.
Read my notes here.
Hey! Take the Uncle Bob Quiz!
What the hell! May as well take the wildly popular Uncle Bob Second Quiz too!
Thanks Diaryland
Designed by Lisa


CURRENT - ARCHIVES - MESSAGES - EMAIL


Have you read these?

The End Of Uncle Bob - 12:28 p.m. , 2009-02-19

Losing Focus While Trying To Write A Blog Entry Is Cool. - 1:47 p.m. , 2008-12-04

Buck Up Junior, You Could Be Digging Ditches - 11:36 p.m. , 2008-10-31

That Sinking Feeling - 6:09 a.m. , 2008-10-28

Return Of The Karate Kid And His Slow Kitty-Lovin' Accomplice - 5:44 a.m. , 2008-10-22

Sign up for my Notify List and get email when I update!

email:
powered by
NotifyList.com

HEY YOU!
Click on the button below to order the book "Never Threaten To Eat Your Co-Workers: Best of Blogs" featuring Uncle Bob.
You WON'T be sorry.

DISCLAIMER


Read a random entry of mine.