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6:15 a.m. - 2006-01-10

BEING A TECHNOLOGY-CRAVING GEEK HAS ITS DRAWBACKS


I'm so flippin' screwed.

For Christmas, I really, really silly billy wanted this.

It's the best of the best (according to CNET) DVD Recorders/DVRs out there and I'm all about having the best technology because deep down I'm a technological geek who has to have the best of the best ... and then has to pout six months later when something even better comes out and then I get all pissy because if I had just waited six months, I could have had a DVD Recorder/DVR that recorded three times the amount my "best of the best" records and then I start taking out my frustration on those around me including my boss who then fires me and I end up sitting at home, staring at my now "best of the worst" DVD Recorder/DVR for several months before I find a job slinging urine samples around.

Vicious circle, much??

So anyway, I ordered this damned thing a week ago from a website I had never heard of because they had the item for the cheapest amount ... more than $50 cheaper than any of the more reputable sites.

This morning, I get a friendly email from the website I ordered it from.

Dear Moron,

We are sorry, but we have run out of the Pioneer DVR533HS DVD Recorder with 80GB Hard Drive that you ordered. At least that's what we're telling you in order to avoid any future lawsuits. We're going to tell you that we have the item on order, but we do not have an expected date for our re-supply. What that means in layman's terms is ... THANKS FOR THE MONEY, SUCKWAD!! The fact that we do not have a "specific date" only means the manufacturer or distributor does not have a date but it is definitely on the way. Yeah. So's Jesus, by the way. We should receive it as soon as any other retailer. Scratch that ... any REPUTABLE retailer. We're just a fake website offering awesome shit at cheap prices so we can get your money. Of course you may cancel your order but canceling and reordering later will put you at the back of the line in receiving this hard to get item. This means that we're really hoping you don't cancel your order and then in 3-4 years you finally forget all about the order and we can party it up with your $355.

Please only reply if you would like to switch to another item, or would you rather cancel the backordered item. But keep in mind ... we are a fake website that's only in it for your money and we'll tell you that your order's been switched, but we don't have shit in our "warehouse" other than a beat up Sony Walkman from 1983 and some dead rats.

We apologize for the inconvenience, and look forward to your reply. Which doesn't make a whole lot of sense because we told you not to reply unless you wanted to cancel the order or pick something else out that we don't even have. Why would we look forward to a reply from you? It only means more hassle on our end and makes us feel even more uncomfortable that we're taking money from hard-working jackasses like yourself.

We honestly hope your experience with us has taught you to deal strictly with Amazon in the future and not fly-by-night companies like ours.

Sucker.

So basically ... they've got my money ... and now they're all "You'll get the thing when we feel like shipping it to you".

So much for putting the entire "Thomas The Tank Engine" series on DVD to free up my other DVRs.

Grumble grumble grumble.

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