DO JEWS GET OFFENDED WHEN YOU SEND THEM CHRISTMAS CARDS?

No lie ... I have TRIED to update this thing like 74 times in the last two weeks. Something always interrupts me and I have to just throw it away.

I don't "have" to ... I'm just usually pulled away from here so fast that it's not worth cutting and pasting and all that insane crazy shit some of you do when you're interrupted by people when you're trying to write a diary entry.

Isn't it about time we stopped referring to this as a "diary"? I know it's "diaryland", but everyone calls this "blogging" don't they?

Is there a "Blogland.com" taken yet?

Look into it, Andrew.

(Andrew the owner of Diaryland, not my son. My son couldn't give two shits about Blogland.)

I've been so incredibly freakin' busy as a DJ that I'm REALLY looking forward to having a scant three days off this weekend ... Sat, Sun and Monday.

I'm probably going to quit working at the club that I've been working at for almost three years.

I'm just soooo burned out on the club scene. It's boring and since I don't drink, do drugs, smoke, curse out loud, have extramarital affairs, masturbate in public, squeeze strangers' breasts or strip off my clothes while I dance, I just don't find it as fun as I used to.

I'd much rather be home with my wife and son.

And since my business is doing well, I can afford to quit the club now.

My contract runs out at the end of January and I think when they put a new one in front of my face, I'm going to do something really dramatic like grin really big and then slowly turn the grin into a frown and then tear up the contract right down the middle in front of the boss' face.

And then I might give 'em a piledriver on the floor because that's what Hulk Hogan would do.

And ... make no mistake about it ... I AM the Hulk Hogan of local DJs, bitch.

Andrew's taken care of thanks to Amazon and all the other dotcoms that offer toys.

That kid's getting a TON of stuff.

I make it a point to really spoil him at Christmas time, but this year even I had to say "ENOUGH".

He asked for five things and he got all those.

And then I went overboard.

He likes the movie "Cars".

So I ordered every single little "Car" that's been manufactured for the movie.

(The little "Cars" ... like Hot Wheels)

Never mind that I could have just STARTED a collection for the boy.

I got him the entire collection.

And that's something he didn't even ask for.

Got one of those Robopets because I don't wanna get a dog.

Not that he wants a dog, but he's a six year-old boy and all six year-old boys want dogs.

Well here ya go kid. A robot dog. Pray to GOD he doesn't rip your jugular out in the middle of the night during some sort of robot freakout session.

That has to be one of the FUNNIEST things I've ever heard.

You may not like it ... that's cool. You either love it or hate it and most people I've sent there loved it.

Thanks to my dear sweet pal, Wendigo for sending that one to me.

Yes, she's still alive. She quit blogging years ago and since we don't work together anymore I don't write about her like I used to.

But she's still alive.

In case you were sitting around going "When in the blue hell is Uncle Bob EVER going to mention Wendigo again?!?"

Have a wonderful Holiday season!