current entry older entries message board contact
5:49 a.m. - 2007-03-27

AND IT SEEMS TO ME YOU LIVED YOUR LIFE LIKE A DRUGGED OUT AIRHEAD IN THE WIND


I think I join the rest of the world in complete and utter shock when it was revealed that Anna Nicole's death was attributed to an accidental overdose.

Granted, I didn't expect them to say "Oh yeah, she died after Howard K. Stern strangled her to death."

I mean ... the guy's a shifty weasel, but he's not a stupid weasel.

Every time during the last day of her life that she mumbled or slurred "Howard, I don't feel so good", Howie doled out fistfuls of prescription medicines hoping that maybe ... MAYBE this batch of pills will be the one to shut that braying mouth of hers once and for all. Then he could take all of that perverted old man's millions under the guise that it's Dannilynn's money and they could retreat to the Bahamas where he'd give Dannilynn to the first person who came along and then just wrap a Baby Pees-a-lot doll tightly in a blanket and try to pass the doll off as his "child" for the next several months until Entertainment Tonight finally found something else that they could report and then nobody would hear from that shifty weasel bastard again as he laid on the beach ... his plan complete.

Kill off all the rightful heirs to the money and give away the last heir to a waitress for a tip.

And now he's all "See media?? SEE?!? I didn't kill her! I loved her!!"

Yeeeeah.

You just somehow managed to come up with a foolproof plan to foil my decade-old quest to someday throw Anna Nicole Smith a titty fuck while she lay comatose from drugs on a Mexican truck stop's filthy bathroom floor.

Jackass.



Other than that ... I'm good, thanks!



Since I figured out how to post YouTube videos here, it has been my complete and utter obsession.

Granted, if Anna Nicole were still alive, that whole Mexican truck stop titty fuck thing would still be my obsession.

Once again ... thank you Howard. You fucking murderer.

Anywhoo ... I've been into this chick Amy Winehouse for several months now and thought that hey ... if you haven't heard her music yet, there's really no need for you to continue living ... right?

I mean ... just call Howard K. Stern and end it all.

Since the "K" stands for "Kevorkian".

So enjoy these videos. The first one is the first single from her new album "You Know I'm No Good" while the second one "Rehab" is the next single.

And then months from now when everyone's walking down the street singing "They tried to make me go to Rehab, I said no, no, no" you can say "Pschaw! I've been listening to that song for months now!"

And then you can enjoy that punch in the face that most people receive when they've used the word "pschaw" in conversation.

(Okay ... I just checked and the "Rehab" video doesn't seem to be working here. I'm guessing that you can't put two You Tube videos in the same stupid page. That makes sense. Because then if I wanted to, I could post every video You Tube has on their site on my site, one after the other. All 20 of them. Then you could just call this "Uncle Bob's You Tube" and poor You Tube would be out of business. And then Google would try to sue me and I could finally say "Look bitch ... Brad F'n Pitt tried to sue me years ago. Jump on the bandwagon Lefty. I ain't scared." But secretly, I'd be pooping my pants in fear. Which ...we all know by now ... is a completely plausible action.)

(Okay ... now it's working and I look like an idiot. But at least I didn't shit myself.)



8 comments so far
The last one/The next one


NEW!!!Come and write some BAD EROTICA with the cool kids!

My Diaryland Trading Card
Now go write a Suck Ass Poem™
Write me a note here.
Read my notes here.
Hey! Take the Uncle Bob Quiz!
What the hell! May as well take the wildly popular Uncle Bob Second Quiz too!
Thanks Diaryland
Designed by Lisa


CURRENT - ARCHIVES - MESSAGES - EMAIL


Have you read these?

The End Of Uncle Bob - 12:28 p.m. , 2009-02-19

Losing Focus While Trying To Write A Blog Entry Is Cool. - 1:47 p.m. , 2008-12-04

Buck Up Junior, You Could Be Digging Ditches - 11:36 p.m. , 2008-10-31

That Sinking Feeling - 6:09 a.m. , 2008-10-28

Return Of The Karate Kid And His Slow Kitty-Lovin' Accomplice - 5:44 a.m. , 2008-10-22

Sign up for my Notify List and get email when I update!

email:
powered by
NotifyList.com

HEY YOU!
Click on the button below to order the book "Never Threaten To Eat Your Co-Workers: Best of Blogs" featuring Uncle Bob.
You WON'T be sorry.

DISCLAIMER


Read a random entry of mine.