TRASH TALKIN'

You know ... I may as well touch base with you while I can.

But I really don't have much to share.

OH!

Here's something!

I think I've told you guys that we've got this white trash family living across the street from us ... right?

Have I?

Yeah?!?

So anyway, last night I'm at this meeting ... I'm in charge of the community newsletter and was meeting with my fellow newsletter people and one of the ladies said ... "Oh ... you live on such-and-such Street ... you must know the drunk."

I didn't know what drunk she meant, but I naturally thought of Captain White Von Trash.

"You mean the white trash guy?" I asked.

"Yeah" she says. "Is he still out?"

What??

Out of what??

As it turns out ... jail.

As it turns out ... a few months ago he murdered somebody.

Vehicular manslaughter.

And he was drunk at the time.

Now granted ... I don't wish anybody dead or anybody to be an accidental killer.

Even El Whitetrash-o.

But if this means that he's going to have a court case and may be put away for several years and his wife and kids have to sell the dirt bikes, the four wheelers, the massive stereos in their vehicles which blast ghetto gangsta rap all day and night and move back to the back of the trailer park ... well dang. Better luck next time, Eminem.

The couple are getting married tomorrow. I'm not doing their wedding, just the rehearsal dinner.

The mother of the groom is, by my account, a control freak.

She has decided that they want a beach theme to the party.

And they want nothing but beach music.

I've been dealing with her the entire time. I don't even know the bride and groom's name.

A few weeks ago we were talking and I asked her what the groom's favorite songs were.

"I don't care," she said. "I'm paying for this party and you're going to be playing what I want to hear."

She's given me a list of requests ... all of them for her and her husband, the groom's stepfather.

Real cheesy songs from the 50s and 60s.

I'm not sure how this is going to go over ... the groom's mom taking the spotlight off of her daughter-in-law-to-be.

But it should be pretty interesting.

The groom is a sarcastic asshole and a man after my own heart.

I misspelled the last name (it's not "Smith", it's "Smythe") and he told me within the first minute we met "You screwed up the spelling ... we're out of here" and got up from his chair as if to leave.

Gotta love a groom like that.

He's given me five songs to play and from there I'm on my own.

I love that in a groom.

Damn.

I might be joining them on the honeymoon if he keeps wooing me like he's doing.

Let's see ... now you need a You Tube video to watch ... hmmmmm .... lemme see .... AH YES! Here's one that us wedding DJs seem to love. It's really cute. In fact, here's two of them. These are a wedding party dance and a First Dance. I love 'em both and hopefully they'll put a smile on your face.

Have a great weekend!