NEW DRINKING GAME ... DO A SHOT WHENEVER I SAY THANKS

First off, thanks for everyone who wrote nice things about my son on the message board on the last entry. It's truly appreciated.

Second, if you've been sending me emails gushing about how great I am, blah blah blah ... I haven't received them. With this new computer, the emails for Uncle Bob were spotty at best and I completely lost all of my emails last weekend and have managed to retrieve some of them.

Anyway ... thanks for the kind words. They certainly did help during a kind of weird week last week.

I'm going to talk a little bit about Aspergers here so if that bores you, bear with me. It's quickly became a major part of my life in the last week and me got some observations on it.

First off, I've read two and a half books on the subject in the last six days.

One of the interesting things I read is that one third of the fathers of kids with Aspergers have it or at least SYMPTOMS of it themselves.

And me, being Captain Hypochondriac that I am, am convinced that I too have a hint of Aspergers with a twist of lime.

To wit:

* I have trouble looking you in the eye when I talk directly to you. In fact, I'd rather look out the window or fixate on an inanimate object when I'm talking to someone.

This probably stems from the fact that most of what I say are lies.

* I'd rather sit in silence than engage in conversations with people.

Then again ... if I'm listening to my iPod, ninety percent of what I have on there is more interesting than listening to my co-workers bitch about their abnormal cervix issues.

*I have trouble staying on track during a conversation.

That said ... has anybody else got the new Public Enemy CD? It's not as good as their old stuff, but there's a few good slammin' tracks on there.

And I have to add ... these new Triscuits that are Fire Roasted Tomato and Olive Oil flavored? Not that good.

I've been reading so much of this stuff on Aspergers, that I'm starting to look at people/kids and think "Do they have it?"

Because it's not something that is easily detected just by looking at a person.

So now I walk through life thinking everyone has it to an extent.

Here's a celebrity who I think has it ... Prince.

He hates doing interviews. He's very mysterious. He doesn't like looking you in the eye. He's short.

C'mon Prince ... admit it. You're an Aspie.

Pleeeeease??

Make me look smart just once ... pleeeeease???

Not forever. Just ...for now.

I wouldn't call it a "mistake", but I've kinda got in over my head joining various committees and groups over the past several months with other things going on in my life.

I'm in charge of my community's newsletter. I write it, get it printed and distribute it. That's a lot of work.

I'm also the head of my Neighborhood Watch for my area. I'm constantly on Thug Alert.

I'm on an Events Planner where I help plan events and make them happen. I'm currently working on a Halloween festival for 200 people and nobody can agree on an appropriate family-friendly Halloween movie (front runners are "Ghostbusters" and "Gremlins". I suggested "The Omen").

I'm on a park committee where we're building a new playground and park area.

I've got the first PTA meeting of the school year tonight.

I also have a day job and my own business to keep running.

Plus a kid with a diagnosis, a wife with a mid-life crisis going on, a house full of boxes for a yard sale in a month and a patch of rough broken skin on my left elbow that I can't for the life of me get to heal properly.

There's some anonymous asshole who really gets under my skin on a forum I frequent and even though I don't know this person except through a nickname, I find myself being obsessed with trying to find the right words to finally type that will make them understand just what a stupid asshole I think they are. This happens several times a day. The sad part is ... I KNOW HOW FOOLISH THIS IS.

In the last two weeks I've had a niece get married, my sister gave birth to her second daughter and my Dad missing my Mom on the first anniversary of her death.

I couldn't be with any of them due to my busy schedule.

And now I sit here ... staring at the screen ... wondering why I'm bitching about all of this.

I had a point.

But the point is so stupid that it hardly makes any sense to bring it up.

But I shall do so anyway.

My newsletter committee people are driving me NUTS.

I give everyone a deadline ... the first of the month. Get any information you want to me by the first of the month, because unlike you people, I have so much going on in my life that I can't afford to NOT set deadlines.

Yesterday was the 8th day of the month.

My newsletter is finished, right?

Nice story and photos on the front page, tons of info and photos throughout the thing.

And two women are begging me to fit some "last minute" stuff in there.

Here's the deal ... I can't tell them no.

I don't have that in me. I can give them a sly look and ask them what the date is today to subliminally say "The deadline has passed. You had three months to get this to me and now that I'm finished, you are ready to participate."

I'm just not good at those situations.

Yesterday I must have spent an hour writing two emails that were no more than three sentences apiece ... searching for the right words to say "In the future, get this stuff to me before the newsletter is finished" without saying any of those words.

It wasn't easy.

I think I settled on "Deadlines are like naked Amish people in a convertible. If you don't pay attention to them when they come up on you, you'll regret it later."

That's enough for me in this weird and wacky installment of Uncle Bob.

I guess I didn't have much to say except vent a bit.

But since you guys were so nice with my last entry, I figured I could spill my guts just one more time before I get back into the swing of things with that weekly look into my boring world.

Thanks again.

No really ... thanks.

Thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks.