ONE FOR THE KIDS

So I'm in my new office...and I sneezed.

A pretty loud sneeze. I didn't intend for it to be so loud, but I'll admit that it was probably heard in nearby offices.

NOBODY blessed me.

This is the South. Everyone blesses each other when they sneeze down here. It's common courtesy. You sneeze and we all wish God's blessings on you. I don't know why. I don't ask. That's just the way it is. You sneeze, and others around you think that maybe your life could use a little blessing...that's all.

Well no.

That's not the course of action over here. If you sneeze so hard you threaten to take out walls with you...too bad. You not only don't receive a blessing, there's no geshundeit, no "Holy shit", no "Would you mind moving back to the other side of the building and take those vicious sneezes with you?"

Fine.

Two can play that game. Sure it might get a little nasty and messy but I'm just as capable of NOT blessing people as I am of blessing them.

Damned ungrateful bastards.

They will learn.

Bless me...or face my wrath.

This is war.

And I'm America while they're all Taliban.

War baby.

War.