BARBECUES, INTERVIEWS AND HEADACHES TOO

Ugh.

Just got back from a lunch date with Edweird and the Geester (formerly "Mattie Gee") and Geester's live-in love interest.

We went to this BBQ place that specializes in big thick onion rings and the best pie in town.

So I had some big thick onion rings and half a slice of chocolate pie that I shared with Mrs. Geester.

And a jumbo beef bbq sandwich.

Now I feel like I have an Armenian midget stuffed snugly in my bowels.

I feel quite confident that the searing intestinal pain will eventually subside so I'm putting off a trip to the restroom until absolutely necessary.

Meanwhile, I'll just sit here and sweat and make noises like "Unnnnffffff!"

Cripes.

I sound like I'm giving birth to a polar bear in here.

Speaking of polar bears...did any of y'all win the Powerball thing last night??

...Alright, fine...polar bears and powerball have nothing in common. Get in line and sue me.

Here's my deal...Susie and I were talking and HAD WE played the game, we would have bet OUR birthday (1-19), Andy's birthday (11-2) and our ages (36-39)

So last night...the first three numbers were ... 2...36....39....

I will tell you people what...had I actually bought a ticket and those first three numbers came up and I had all three of them...I woulda collapsed of heart failure by the time the fourth number came up.

I probably woulda been ticked for months after seeing those first three numbers and then having the next three numbers not be what I needed.

I'm glad I didn't call anyone in Georgia to get me a ticket. Man, that woulda just ruined my whole day.

And coupled with my bad back and sore throat that I'm currently suffering from ... today woulda been el crappy-o day-o.

I'm thinking of making Jackie my new public relations director.

That gal can sure say some sweet thangs about yer old Uncle Bob when she puts her mind to it.

Now I've got a headache.

For those of you keeping score...1 backache, 1 sore throat, 1 Armenian Bowel Midget and 1 headache.

They shoot horses for less than this, don't they?

I had an interview scheduled for this morning with the head of a pretty large health care corporation in Ohio today.

S'posed to call him at 10 a.m.

I called at 10:01 a.m. to give him time to primp or whatever.

I call. Secretary says he's not at his desk.

"Well, I was supposed to have an interview with him at 10 a.m."

"Can I take your name and number and have him call you as soon as he gets back to his desk?"

Sigh.

Fine. I gave her my name and number.

Three and a half hours later...no call.

Granted...I know these people are fairly busy people but C'MON!!! Return my stinkin' call, Punchy!

At 2 p.m. I will call him again. That will have given him four hours to blow me off and feel like Mr. Big Shot Health Care Conglomerate Guy.

Oooooo...you blew me off, Mr. Important Guy!! YOU'RE SOOOOO COOOOOOL!!

Sheesh.

My whole day is spent jumping through hoops only to hit a brick wall once I get through that last hoop.

Major amounts of suckage going on in my life right now.

But hey...when I get home, I'll have a beautiful little angel baby grinning big and ready to shower his daddy with fishie kisses.

And ya know...that makes all of it worthwhile.