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20:57:17 - 2000-10-01

AN APOLOGY ... I KNOW...I SAID THERE WERE NO MORE APOLOGIES ... BUT JEEZ...CUT ME SOME SLACK...

First off...I want to apologize to Bob.

I've gotta admit ... I've always liked Bob. He's a great writer ... scratch that ... he's an AWESOME writer. He's cracked me up on more than one occasion and can say more in one paragraph, than I can in an entire entry.

In this morning's entry I basically accused Bob of being the brains behind a site that offended me personally and was intended to offend me personally.

I'm truly sorry Bob.

I was speaking out of anger over your support of the site and after surfing around a few areas, made up my simple mind that you were behind the site.

There's a little phrase ... "innocent until proven guilty".

And there's no way I'm ever going to be able to prove you did it.

Thus, my apologies to you. I'm hoping we can bury the hatchet over this. You seem to be an intelligent young man with a great future ahead of you.

And believe it or not, I kinda hope my son grows up with some of your qualities.

I'd also like to apologize to the actual people behind the site that offended me.

I DID email Andrew and ask what could be done about your site. But...as I stated in this morning's entry...technically, it WAS Andrew who pulled the site. But I did fail to mention that it was after my email asking for his input.

The site offended me greatly, which, let's admit, was your sole intention. I think you knew in your heart(s) that you would get to me and you did.

But I overreacted.

The more mature thing would have been to just let it slide and wait for you (guys) to get bored with hurting me.

Sometimes though...I'm not the most mature guy in the world.

Finally, I want to apologize to the readers who visit this site.

I've been acting like a complete child over this and the other constant attacks on my character. I've tried very hard to just shrug it off, but it's not my nature to do that. When I'm provoked, I tend to attack.

I'm sorry you all had to witness it. Someone once said ... and I think it was that "Stop Sucking" escapade a few months ago ... that I have a dark side.

That person was very right.

99% of the time, I'm a peace-loving, fun guy who just wants to do the right thing.

But there's that 1% of the time that I have an angry side that comes out when ... well...when I'm angry, I guess.

I just really hate that I've either bored you guys and gals with my little tirades or turned you off or tried to force you to pick sides.

I'm truly, TRULY sorry that this had to happen.

***************************************

All of this stems from my hour in church this morning.

Before church started, I told the pastor to speak to me in his sermon, as I was having a particularly bad day.

He told me the basis of his sermon.

Forgiveness.

As I sat there and absorbed all he had to say, it all spoke straight to my heart.

And I made up my mind to forgive whatever nameless souls out there who did this.

I'm sure they don't want/need/or even think they should have my forgiveness.

Maybe my forgiveness doesn't even apply to the situation.

But I'm at peace with it all.

I truly am.

No more name calling. No more accusations.

I am at peace with the situation.

Above all, I hope Bob accepts my apology. I had no right to accuse him of anything. We're not the best of friends by any means, but I respect him and his opinion, even though it may differ from mine.

Just as I wanted everyone to understand my genuine disgust with the whole matter, I want everyone to understand my sincerity now.

I want it all to be over with. Those that choose not to let it end, I will turn the other cheek and let you continue with your attempts to "destroy" me.

But I have a wife that loves me very much as I do her.

I've got friends that mean the world to me, both real-life as well as Internet friends.

And I have a beautiful son that will be entering my world in a month's time.

I have plenty to smile about and be thankful for.

And nothing you can do can take those away from me.

Once again ... my apologies to all involved. My forgiveness to those that seek it.

I just hope you all accept it with an open heart.

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