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12:53 p.m. - 2001-09-19

FELLOW EMPLOYEES LOVE WHEN YOU COME TO WORK SMELLING LIKE ASS

I read the funniest thing this morning on this page talking about how great the meeting between Dan Rather and David Letterman was the other night. The statement was from an average Joe who said:

"I think that given what is going on in the world today it is important to remember that Britney Spears is way better than Christina Aguilera"

Man.

I love me some irony in heavy doses.


I was driving to work this morning and I saw this old man sitting in a lawn chair in the middle of his yard. He was wearing a tank top and boxer shorts, he had headphones and sunglasses on and was just staring straight ahead at traffic.

It looked like a Pink Floyd album cover.

It was really strange.

I wanted to honk my horn and yell "YEAH DUDE!" out the window while pumping my fist until I remembered I'm not 17 years old anymore.


I think I told you guys that my elbow hurt like a Dear John letter from your high school sweetheart this morning, didn't I?

Well, it still hurt like hell this morning, so I put some Icy Hot on it.

For those of you who have never used Icy Hot, this stuff smells like ... ummm...well...it's overbearingly strong. Smells kinda like a cross between Peppermint and ass fungus.

Anyway, I had to put some on my elbow since it felt like it was broken and Icy Hot does wonders for broken bones, you betcha.

So I put it on like at 7:30 when I had to be at work by 8:30. I gave it an hour for the stench to die down.

In my most ignorant move of the week so far, I wore a long sleeved shirt to work this morning which trapped the stench on my elbow, absorbed the stench on my sleeve and now I have smelled like Pepperass all damned day.

And I didn't just wear ANY long sleeved shirt...I wore my Johnny Cash "Man in Black" shirt which makes me look like the world's first mentally handicapped country singer.

I've only worn this shirt one other time...the night we robbed restaurants back in late April for the Cancer Society.

Since then it's been hanging in my closet...waiting for the special day that I would wear it once again.

So today was that special day since I smell like a whorehouse exploded. May as well look stupid too so I can be the smelly stupid looking guy at work.

...Which up until now was previously Edweird's nickname ...


You know...I was just thinking...if we're having so much trouble finding bin Laden, there's really only one person we can turn to...

...Miss Cleo.

I think it's high time the government called now for their free reading.

And see if she can find Chandra in the cards while she's rummaging around there.


Can you tell my day's been kinda boring??

Here's a few websites people sent me to today...as if I haven't provided enough links in this entry...

This will make you laugh.

This will make you cry.

This will help you waste your day.

And this will make you sigh.

There now.

Who else gives you links in poem form?

That's right.

Nobody.

... At least ... nobody I read anyway.

Take care and stay safe.

Me got work to do.

Me gotta go.

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