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06:25:22 - 2000-04-21

NO BLOOD SHED AT DINNER

Well, last night was hunky dory.

Thanks to those of you who read the last entry and came forth with words of encouragement. Of course, these words came AFTER I had gotten home from the dinner, and were no longer needed, but damn...it sure is nice to know that people out there care.

GOD BLESS DIARYLAND!!!

Oh. And Napster too.

Ironically...the only one of Susie's family who showed any real emotion when we announced our pregnancy was Susie's stepmother who cried.

This is a woman that lives in California that Susie sees once every couple of years.

The rest of the family just kinda sat there and said "Congratulations".

Ah well....buncha weirdos anyway.

Oh...and my brother-in-law Gomer? He was the most socially acceptable that I have ever seen him in my life. He didn't break anything or dry hump any waitresses.

And her mother didn't freak out once. She sat at the opposite end of the table from Susie's Dad and they never even met eyes.

Plus, Susie's dad bought everyone's dinner, which had to be up around $300.

I've almost GOT to give him props on that. I think he could sense he was in line for an old-fashioned ass whuppin' at the end of the night so he decided to buy my dinner, which usually does get people out of ass-whuppin' circumstances.

Anyway, it's over and done and I'm feeling a whole lot better now.

How much better??

ummmmmm....well...I'm getting a new computer today!!

Shit. If that's all it takes to get me to go out to dinner with her Dad...I'll start going more often.

OHMIGOD!

IT'S FRIDAY!!!!!!

Man oh man...how I LOVE Fridays.

Here's my typical Friday...

Sit here in my home office and stumble around the Internet until about 9 a.m.

Shower and head to work.

Get to work about 10 a.m. and immediately leave to go get breakfast.

Go shopping. Mattie Gee and I usually go to Walmart or Office Depot or somewhere and just hang out all morning.

Go back to the office, sit down for ten minutes and then leave for lunch.

Take a two hour lunch.

Go back to the office. Complain about the lack of circulated air in my office during the warm months. Leave in a huff by 2 p.m., swearing that I'll never come back.

Go home and masturbate compulsively until the wife gets home.

Go out to eat to a nice, quiet dinner.

Buy a computer.

Come home and stay up all night cursing because I have no idea what I am doing.

Since I'm kinda at a loss for things to write about ... how about some...

RHETORICAL DIARYLAND QUESTIONS:

Is Rayn for real?

Do you think Sinnamon might have a teeny weeny lil' cyber crush on me?

Does anybody else picture Affemann standing on a street corner, blurting out bible verses at the top of his lungs and tearing pages out of a bible before he's asked to leave?

Is Horsemanure TRYING to turn me gay?

Does anybody else think that Kelly has been chained to a computer and is forced to crank out diary entry after diary entry at gunpoint?

Am I just the slowest guy in the world or did everyone else miss the fact that Shoshannah is Jewish?

Does anybody else think that Kame just needs to go ahead and get married?

Isn't Helb just the cutest little Diaryland Drunk?

Am I the only one who uses Loneranger's background for wallpaper? It makes the perfect wallpaper...trust me.

That's about all for now. I had one more question, but after staring at it for the last ten minutes, I decided to delete it.

Go now. Enjoy your Friday. Think of me often and groan.

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