YOU MEAN...COACH ON "CHEERS" WASN'T REALLY THAT DUMB?

Y'know...people are strange.

I was reading through some of the Mighty Big TV forums/boards/whatever yesterday and it dawned on me...these people take television wayyy too seriously.

Y'see kids...television, as well as film, are forms of escapism. You're supposed to watch it and not really take it too seriously, unless it's the news and they're talking about anthrax and then your little puppy ears had better stand up straight and be listening intently.

But shows like...ohhhh...say "Ed"...it's FICTION, people. It's nothing to get all worked up and stage a boycott over. Those characters on the show?? They're ACTORS. They're not REAL.

The only trait they share with their characters is they look an awful lot like the characters. Other than that...it's supposed to be taken lightly.

So many people take that stuff seriously there.

I dunno.

I felt like I had to get that off my chest.

I need to get this funny-shaped mole off my chest too. But not today.

The boy's getting all weird on us.

Susie thinks he's teething. I think he's inhaled anthrax. Because he just won't stop crying.

Last night, I tried to feed him and he wouldn't have any part of it. He had tears rolling down his cheeks, snot pouring out of his nose and drool oozing out of his mouth.

I kept waiting for blood to squirt out his ears. There was none.

Susie's currently trying to nurse him and he's just greeting her with a high pitched whine. That's really neat at 5:45 a.m.

Neato Bandito!!

Susie was supposed to drive across the state today to attend a seminar. Now she's staying home with the baby.

A mother's work is never done, kids.

I was going to walk today, but it was supposed to be nasty and ugly with thunderstorms all over the place, so I slept in.

I got up at 5:30 and there were no thunderstorms to speak of. It looked like it sprinkled outside ... but that's it.

You know...in case anybody out there needed a weather report from central Alabama.

I got home from work yesterday, not really knowing who was going to be here when I arrived.

It was Nosy Assed Neighbor watching Andy.

NAN has this personality that really grates on my nerves. Granted, I appreciate that she's taken time out of her day to watch Andy. I just wish she wouldn't go exploring around the house and sifting through our nightstand drawers and stuff. And then try to tell me how to raise my child when I get home when she has no children to speak of and never will have any because we've lived next door to her for 12 years and she's never even had a boyfriend, let alone a husband.

"You really need to quit feeding him baby food," she said as she handed Andy to me yesterday.

"We're feeding him a combination of baby food and people food," I said politely. "We're slowly weaning him off the baby food."

"Well...you just need to stop feeding it to him immediately," Dr. Nosy Ass said firmly.

No explanation.

No reason.

Just "Here's Yet Another Demand I'm Going To Put On You Because I Know Everything And You Know Nothing".

I then committed a cardinal sin. Before I could stop myself, I just blurted it out.

"Why?" I asked.

Awwww hell.

Here it comes.

She then wasted five minutes of my life telling me how she had read somewhere on the internet that babies need to be eating bland people food by the time they're a year old, blah blah blah.

"And Susie needs to stop nursing him too. That's just wrong," she added.

Hey...I'm all for that. The kid's 51 weeks old. It's probably time he was weaned off the boob.

Susie, on the other hand, has this psychological problem where if she takes the boob away, in essence, she's sending her baby out of the nest in a way. It's that last bond between them that's being taken away.

Our doctor told us that if Susie could manage to nurse him for a year, that's great.

Nosy Assed Neighbor thinks it's perverted and wrong.

Gee...who are we going to listen to? The doctor who's looked after several thousand babies or Ms. Nosy Ass who knows less about parenting than we do?

Sorry neighbor...I'm going with the doctor this time.

The kid finds comfort in the boob. When he gets the boob, he quiets down.

Let him have the boob.

Do not deny the kid the boob.

His daddy's a boob man. Like father like son.

Yawn.

I'm bored here and there's nothing of any great importance being said.

Thus...I shall leave you here.

Peace out.