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11:27:17 - 2000-06-01

COME SAIL AWAY MY ASS!!

I was reading an interview with Tommy Shaw in today's paper.

Tommy plays guitar for the rock group Styx and used to play for Damn Yankees.

Tommy's from Montgomery and I've interviewed him twice in the past. BOTH times I asked him if there was ever a chance that Styx would get back together again for a reunion tour.

BOTH times he told me no and that Styx was a band whose time had come and gone.

So who's out on the freakin' road again, grabbing fistfuls of cash from whoever will pay to come see them??

That's right. Styx.

It's the kinda thing that makes a guy wanna say "Come Sail Away...my ass!!"

In fact ... I think I'll say it ...

COME SAIL AWAY MY ASS!!

There. Feel mucho better already.

I'm just pissed at Tommy. He coulda given me the scoop. His mom (who's one of my biggest fans ... she calls and tells me she loves me. I think she's a bit strange) coulda called me and told me the news.

Then again...Tommy's talked to thousands of journalists. Why go to me with the news??

I'm stewing, baby.

Positively STEWING.

Hey...so when are idiots going to learn that if you're talking to a 14 year old on the internet and propose meeting for sex, and the 14 year old says yes, then that 14 year old is a cop.

A police officer just south of here was just sentenced to a couple of years in prison for soliciting sex from a 14 year old boy WHO WAS REALLY A COP over the Internet.

As it turns out, the two cops knew each other as well.

How uncomfortable would that shit be? You're sitting there at your computer, wacking it silly, thinking you're about to score with some fresh meat when in reality you're talking to your drinking buddy Joe who's about ready to bust yer ass.

For God's sakes people...I'm no expert at impersonating a 14 year old on the internet, but I think I could do it pretty well if forced into it.

*****************

PERV: "Hi. What's your name?"

14YEAROLDBOB: "Tee hee! (LOL)"

PERV: "How old are you?"

14YEAROLDBOB: "Can't you read, silly?"

PERV: "Are you really 14?"

14YEAROLDBOB: "I like the Backstreet Boys. I think they're cute, but almost too old for me."

PERV: "You wanna meet at the Pine Lake Motel for sex?"

14YEAROLDBOB: "Sex?? What's that??"

PERV: "Let's meet at the motel and I'll show you what sex is."

14YEAROLDBOB: "Okay. I'll get my bike and start pedaling. It may take a while because I'm in Utah. But I should be there before August."

***************************

I don't mean to make light of perverts on the Internet, but c'mon people.

First off, yer a sick bastard if you wanna have sex with kids.

Second, yer a stupid bastard if you wanna use the internet to round up victims.

And third, yer an ignorant bag of shit if you think you're actually talking to a kid.

And now, another cop is behind bars for thinking he was getting some young Vietnamese male nookie.

Only....ONLY in Alabama....

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