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Comments:
Not Cindy Crawford - 2004-05-19 09:55:49
Don't let the neighbor get away with his cheating Uncle Bob...get him! get him!
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Flashlightning - 2004-05-19 09:56:12
FIRST!!!!!!!!!
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Flashlightning - 2004-05-19 09:57:04
Dammit.... I quit.
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Not Cindy Crawford - 2004-05-19 09:59:08
LOL..sorry :o)
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Flashlightning - 2004-05-19 10:22:22
No biggie. =)
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George - 2004-05-19 10:30:37
Fifth.
Or second, if you're counting posters.
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George - 2004-05-19 10:31:48
Wait, sixth, no, never mind.
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Brandi - 2004-05-19 10:45:45
Wow, my entry today was all about getting old too. At least your kid is still in Pull-Ups and not picking out a prom dress. ;-)
And as a former cocktail waitress, I speak from experience when I say that working in a bar (ANY bar) sucks. Dealing with drunks is like dealing with someone else's bratty kids. Three months was enough for me. I'd rather BE one of the bratty kids.
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Brian - 2004-05-19 11:36:39
"Naturally, the only person who wanted to sing was Strokey ... the recent stroke victim who considers this his therapy."
Wasn't that the plot of a Robert Deniro movie? Except in the movie, he was taught how to sing by Phillip Seymour Hoffman, who played a drag queen. (I guess you can't actually PLAY a drag queen. If you're in drag, you ARE a drag queen. Right?)
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Jimmy - 2004-05-19 11:40:46
Uncle Bob, I know that I may have wronged you, but can I now mock the pathetic nature of the "FIRSTERS" that plauge your diary. To me, they are my ageing country music slobbering slugnuts that torture my pointless existance. To the readers...I beg you...Please, god please, don't leave a comment that is as pointless as your life.
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warcrygirl - 2004-05-19 11:49:15
Take some kerosene and pour out the words "you suck" on your neighbor's front lawn. That'll learn him.
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weaselly - 2004-05-19 11:51:03
If you moved to Texas you could be Hank Hill, y'know, with your lawn issues and all.
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Jedzz - 2004-05-19 13:17:04
Wow. Does every house in your neighborhood look that EXACTLY the same? You should hope you never develop Altzheimer's, old man, because you'll never figure out which house is yours once you're senile and incontinent.
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elayne - 2004-05-19 14:57:25
I was gonna say what Jedzz said... your neighborhood looks rather like housing on a military installation. Uniform, regulated, and meticulous. Don't get me wrong - I LOVE it, it's a damn sight better than the crap we have where I live. I see seven, perhaps nine lots in that picture - where I live, in the same space, there'd be at *LEAST* 20, probably 24. And that's in the nice, "roomy" neighborhoods. I wanna live in your neighborhood. I promise not to ask you to make gospel rap CDs or to star in my Easter Play...
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greer - 2004-05-19 15:47:40
Bob, you need to buy some brightly colored lawn ornaments because your whole street is blaaaaaaand. And you just know some pink flamingos will piss off Mr. Green Grass next door. How about a little lawn gnome flipping the birdie?
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Flashlighting - 2004-05-19 15:47:40
Hmmm... Maybe I won't quit after all. Maybe I'll try again tomorrow. Yeah, I think I will. Thanks Jimmy, it's all so clear to me now.
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hotcarl - 2004-05-19 16:00:24
My favorite thing is when you are spinning, 90% of the bar is digging your shit and having a good time and two old bastages keep complaining to the wait staff that the music is too loud. Too loud? What the hell are you doing out of the old folks home past 9:00 for anyway?
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Dea - 2004-05-19 19:51:59
Uncle Bob. Great entry today and all but I had to share this news with you. ANDY KAUFMAN IS ALIVE. Seriously. I mean, holy shit! See: http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/040519/234/726q1.html
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Martin - 2004-05-19 22:04:13
You could get completely crazy and plant a tree. Fuck. Are you people expecting to land a plane on your street?
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elayne - 2004-05-19 22:13:15
Dea, please please oh please tell me that I somehow missed the sarcasm in your comment ...
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elayne - 2004-05-19 22:15:59
Dea, please please oh please tell me that I somehow missed the sarcasm in your comment ...
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elayne - 2004-05-19 22:18:05
sorry about the double post, browser froze up.
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George - 2004-05-20 00:23:21
Don't pour kerosene on your neighbor's lawn . . . use fertilizer. That's the nice thing to do. That way you're just helping him out a little. Use it to spell out something neighborly like, "You Suck!" It will appear slowly, magically, almost majestically, over the next few days.
Great Idea #2: Plow up your front lawn and plant a vegetable garden: Corn, squash, beans, tomatoes, beets, carrots, whatever. Bet they didn't see THAT one coming, did they? Huh?
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epipie - 2004-05-20 00:40:57
I think good ol' Bob should park a junk car in the middle of his neighbor's lawn. Not only is it an eyesore, but it kills grass as it sits. An immediate solution! (As the owner of a '72 Beetle, I should know)
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Kelli - 2004-05-20 02:25:40
All those chemical companies do is put Nitrogen on the grass to make it green, the lawn really isn't really healthy.
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alley - 2004-05-20 07:43:42
OMG I cannot believe that news story about Kaufman being alive!
Fearing the possibility of this scenario and the potential for another hoax, Kaufman's family has contracted with independent auditors Ernst & Young to determine if this in fact the real Andy Kaufman. He has subjected himself to medical examination and submitted DNA, hair, blood and fingerprint samples to the auditors. Ernst & Young and the Kaufman family report that with a 99% probability, this is indeed the real Andy Kaufman. His mother says, "It's good to have Andy back."
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Fred - 2004-05-20 07:49:31
Note the source of the Kaufman story, PRWEB. Anyone can go there and make a free press release about anything they want. I also note that "Andy's" site is hosted at Blogspot, another free place.
It's not Andy.
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al - 2004-05-20 07:57:03
ok, good because having never heard of those places I was sitting here flabblergasted.
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elayne - 2004-05-20 08:12:30
Here's the press release I made on that same site, 15 minutes after reading the Kaufman one (not sure if I can make it linkable). I'm Princess Anastasia, y'all.
http://www.prweb.com/releases/2004/5/prwebxml127444.php
If you believe that's Andy Kaufman, then you must believe that I am Anastasia, and I'll expect you to bring the beer to the cookout this weekend. I'm expecting roughly 50,000 visiting dignitaries and reigning heads of state, so bring lots and LOTS of beer.
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Flashlightning - 2004-05-20 10:04:25
http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/hoaxes/kaufman.asp
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Laura - 2004-05-20 10:29:32
"I Hate This Fucking Shithole" could become another unofficial national anthem. Its applications are endless. You could play it in any workplace, in jail, at the grocery store, waiting in line at the bank, sitting in the doctor's waiting room, all alone in your motel room on work-related travel...you could whistle it while using the gas station bathroom...see? Endless.
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Wilow - 2004-05-23 21:54:36
You are funny BOB
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flowers names wild flowers - 2005-12-31 04:44:08
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How To Get A Girl Horny - 2006-12-15 12:48:02
Visit How To Get A Girl Horny
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Lortabs - 2006-12-16 07:17:13
Visit Lortabs
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Giant Panda Facts - 2006-12-16 08:17:29
Visit Giant Panda Facts
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Neal Schon - 2006-12-16 11:41:18
Visit Neal Schon
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David Charvet - 2006-12-16 15:58:34
Visit David Charvet
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Mechanical Bulls - 2006-12-17 09:50:12
Visit Mechanical Bulls
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Brazilian Walnut Hardwood Floors - 2006-12-17 17:01:09
Visit Brazilian Walnut Hardwood Floors, http://www.uftl.edu/html/Associate/new/Brazilian-Walnut-Hardwood-Floors.html
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