Comments:

Jimmy - 2004-06-08 09:33:25
You sly dog. You may discover the next Will Hung. Oh the fame...oh the fame...
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warcrygirl - 2004-06-08 09:46:41
No guts, no glory dude. I have a singing voice similar to your wife's. That is why I'll NEVER do karaoke. I can't dance either, but that's never stopped me from trying. Just call me Pathetic White Girl.
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Brandi - 2004-06-08 10:07:03
Be careful what you record and sell, you COULD get into trouble with it. I've been a member of a karaoke forum (www.joltforum.com) for a couple of years, and there are great people and advice to be had there. In case you're interested. If you ever need advice, that's the place to go. BTW, I'm a karaoke whore too, with a professional set-up in my den, which includes wireless mics, a wireless headset (for hosting parties), and over 400 disks. It's addictive... you have no idea what you started when you handed your wife that mic. Good luck!!! ;-)
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sassy - 2004-06-08 10:24:49
U.B. Here is where you go lock those three karaoke discs into your trunk and "lose" the key as far as your wife is concerned.
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hotcarl - 2004-06-08 10:52:33
As long as you avoid paying under age girls to sing karaoke, you should be alright. Well, in second that it worked for the Girls gone wild guys, so go ahead and pay them.
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kim - 2004-06-08 11:39:54
We are trying to figure something out.... is this journal a parody? Wendell said ''unclebob, this is what i've been thinking about him.  maybe it *is* a persona, as you say.  i've never met anyone irl that talks about the stuff he talks about, at least not in an un-ironic way.  he has to be a parody, a composite, of the worst of suburban men.  i'm pretty sure.'' I asked 'if so, are his fans in on the joke? They seem so earnestly sincere.' And lastly, asscrack added, 'If it is a persona, KUDOS for creating such a smarmy, bland, Ned Flanders-with-a-dark-side loser like Uncle Bob. I mean, it's genius.  And it's just believable enough to keep you guessing.  It has to be fake because there's no way people actually say the things he says they say in real life, like "gimme the mic, bitch" or "what can I say? The kid loves chocolate!" I mean, can't you just hear the cheesy Tool Time-esque sitcom music chiming in as UB gives the "what can ya do?" shrug into the closing credits? '
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Laura - 2004-06-08 12:09:29
Whether UB is a parody or not, I would say "Gimme the mic, bitch" to my husband. I have said to him "Give it up, bitch" in tickle fights and finger-bending-backwards fights.
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pillydivine - 2004-06-08 12:37:42
nobody likes bruce springsteen that much. i say parody.
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waxpop - 2004-06-08 12:49:04
Don't listen to these jerks, Bob. I believe you're real. TERRIFYINGLY REAL!!!!!!!!
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Kay - 2004-06-08 12:53:05
I guarantee your wife is not that bad. Haven't you watched the WB Superstar contest? Hee! ;)
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catbert - 2004-06-08 13:09:02
You know, I have to take a shower every time I read an Uncle Bob entry, just because of all the horse shit you throw at us. :-D
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Megan - 2004-06-08 13:34:33
You get the weirdest comments in here. That diary banner you were talking about, she's actually pretty good (I know you didn't say she wasn't), not really depressing, with lots of pics and things. As for the parody, I'd say "gimme the mic, bitch" to someone. They're just jealous cause people like you more.
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mats - 2004-06-08 13:40:45
I think people find you unbelievable because they've never been exposed to the middle class suburbia white people. Just because you've only seen them on tv doesn't mean they aren't real. Yes such common people exist. I don't think that he actually says half the stuff he claims he does, but I'm willing to be he does say some of it. It seems to me that kim is another hip wannabe trying to pretend they've never met people like UB. Cause you know fat balding married white guys are sooo not avant garde and what not.
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Marg - 2004-06-08 14:46:58
I'm sure UB has explained here before - many of his "quoted" comments are what he 'wants' to say, not what he 'does' say IRL - kind of like the passive aggressive stuff we all do - smile and say "oh that's OK, you go first, I'm not in a hurry" when someone cuts into your line - what you're REALLY thinking is "FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING RUDE MORON,YEAH, YOUR FAT ASS REEEEALLY NEEDS THAT BURGER BEFORE ME....." I'm sure we all do it - don't we? uh, don't we??
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Zoot - 2004-06-08 15:02:50
Brilliant idea to make money. Surpasses your "Biscuits" as a JOKE team name in its brilliance.
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cosmicrayola - 2004-06-08 17:57:14
My old neighborhood bar back in Maine has Karaoke and the guy just makes cassette tapes and sells them for $5.00. He puts one song on each side. I bought mine and Terry's the last time we went to Maine a few years ago. Terry has a great voice! When he talks, he has a very British accent (though he as been here since 1978) But when he sings, he sounds as American as can be. Ya, he sings Country. Wanna make something out of it?
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awittykitty - 2004-06-09 00:11:21
I think you would get more business if you wore your jockstrap on the OUTSIDE. Just a thought.
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Bingoguy - 2004-06-09 04:27:07
Y'know you throw so much horseshit at us I just try to dodge it. I don't try to measure it.
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cheri - 2004-06-09 08:29:31
Ok I have to admit I am feeling a bit sorry for the wife. I too am a victum of tone deaf, in fact it is soooo bad I couldn't sing Happy Birthday to my children as they would burst into tears and ask "What's wrong with Mommy, is she in pain?" Tipping a glass to your wife ...*cheers*
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cheri - 2004-06-09 08:29:36
Ok I have to admit I am feeling a bit sorry for the wife. I too am a victum of tone deaf, in fact it is soooo bad I couldn't sing Happy Birthday to my children as they would burst into tears and ask "What's wrong with Mommy, is she in pain?" Tipping a glass to your wife ...*cheers*
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m@++ie gee - 2004-06-09 09:11:01
real. UB is VERY real. crazy, mad whack ozzy real.
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crackerasscracker - 2004-06-09 11:22:16
I'm going to continue to tell myself he's a parody b/c I refuse to believe that such a sexist, self-centered, crude, tasteless, boring, middle-of-the-road asshole exists, gets laid, has a child AND keeps a diary. Come on, how many 40 year old married men have diaries? OK, I'd been saving this, but I have conclusive proof that Bob is made up. No one-NO ONE-actually likes the song, "My Band" by D12. NO ONE. It's just not possible.
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Lyds5 - 2004-06-09 11:35:16
I like that song, so neener neener.
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PuarKat - 2004-06-09 16:08:08
Okay, so I LOVE the karaoke. I know that I, and my friends, would totally hand over 10 bucks a pop (in a drunken stupor of course) for a CD of us belting out the hair metal tunes of our youth. Oh UB how I wish you lived closer to NY so I could book you for various karaoke festivities and to DJ my wedding! Of course I could probably fly you out and pay you to DJ my wedding for what it's costing me here...sad.
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Lorrie - 2004-06-10 10:02:58
Squirrel X is fake. Uncle Bob is real. Geez, he's shown us his house, his woman, and his lil ol bebe. Do you think he rented models? Of course he doesn't say everything in real life that he says here--it's called satire, I think.
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Kelly in Hsv - 2004-06-10 11:07:52
I would love to be a fly on the wall of Uncle Bob's life for just one day....just to compare between what we get to read and what actually transpires. I know half the stuff in my diary is "what I wish I said". How boring would it be if we actually just typed what REALLY happened? :-) If UB actually said all the shit he puts in quotes here, someone would have capped his ass long ago, and there wouldn't even be a notes section of a weblog to have this discussion in!
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kim - 2004-06-10 14:15:37
we're reading your ''bob's real' comments and you are all so painfully, heartbreakingly earnest. As my good friend kotex writes,''They speak a language Cracker cannot understand.   It's the language of the lowest common denominator, of the everyman, of the Dave Barry fan, and of the kind of person who won't say words like "l-sbian" or "v-brator" but is happy to use "pork" as a verb. It's the language of the people who imagine shoutouts on "Ed" that never happened, of DJ's that skinny girls and gay guys just can't help hitting on, of the low in testosterone, smeared with gel, and of the struggle between friendly neighbors and block snobs. It's the language spoken in the nicest house in the subdivision. In short, it's the language of Bob, and it speaks across a gulf of understanding that Cracker will never cross. '
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Kathy - 2004-06-13 10:37:16
Kim, everybody knows that Uncle Bob really did receive a shout-out on the show "Ed". It was even written up in the New York Times. Bob doesn't talk about it much because he's more humble than you give him credit for. What is your obvious beef with him?
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kim - 2004-06-17 12:36:29
what's my beef? I didn't even know who the big old tub of guts was until he took potshots at me during ds5. He wanted my attention. he got it. as larry put it, 'Do you think that if someone from our board ran into Uncle Bob that it would be like when Kotex saw Uberhamster and then felt sad? I think it would be. I'm not sure Uncle Bob can live up to the super high expectations we'd have. Like we'd be at the bar and he'd come over with his bar games and playing his "Hey Ya!" mix and we'd be all 'this is awesome!' and he'd be all 'yeah'. And then we'd be all 'you're the coolest uncle bob' and he'd be all 'yeah, i gotta go'. And then someone would say 'who knew that Uncle Bob was actually a 7 year old boy who writes his diary while wearing superman underroos?' and then we'd all stare into our drinks and someone would wipe one solitary salty tear from their cheek and we'd pay the bill and give a nice tip for Lucy the barmaid and say 'make sure to give some of this to the deejay, contrary to popular believe we don't want to hang the dj, because the music he constantly played said nothing to me about my life' and she would look at us all confused and then someone would clasp someone else on the back and then we'd slowly close the door on Uncle Bob as he played "Dancing Queen".
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