Comments:

Weetabix - 2004-06-18 09:30:15
Dude, what if your hair was like, all of your non-fucktardness? Like Samson? And now you're going to be borderline autistic until it grows back???
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Flashlightning - 2004-06-18 09:40:36
Man, you gotta get those speakers back from that guy. Tell him the truth, that you gave him the wrong speakers, and that those don't belong to you and the owner wants them. Hell, offer to give him his $100 back and take the gutted speakers.
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Daver - 2004-06-18 10:04:24
But you're a loveable fucktard. So that's okay.
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Lisa E. - 2004-06-18 10:07:59
Hilarious. Damn, you were lucky to find that money, UB! I once left my purse hanging on the back of a bathroom stall door at the movie theater for an hour before I found it again, and it had been untouched, even though I had a bunch of money in it, which I normally never have. Sometimes the money angels just smile on us. Other times, they just point and laugh.
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Leah - 2004-06-18 11:38:40
Most waitresses WOULD indeed give stranger head for $200.00
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awittykitty - 2004-06-18 11:48:03
yeah even though my sick mother needed an operation, and I was getting evicted from my apartment and I hadn't eaten anything except ketchup packages since last Sunday when I walked 50 miles to Church since my car's broken, I decided to put the $200 back. God bless you my son.
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mrwarhol - 2004-06-18 14:00:33
UB, I'd give you a bj for free
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ScottyP - 2004-06-18 14:48:40
I cannot BELIEVE you found your $200 in the parking lot!!! Dude, that's amazing. Good things must happen to self-proclaimed fucktards.
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tiffini - 2004-06-18 19:32:34
I guess, in a nutshell, that I AM a total fucktard... -and i might need a blowjob judging form the number of BJ references in this post.
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beo - 2004-06-18 23:39:44
Dude! Lay off the pipe!
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Whore - 2004-06-19 12:47:22
Hey, first time I've read your journal, its cool I guess, but I got some advice for you. UncleBob, you are a REAL uncle right? if you are,never call your neice a dyke, when you leave your weed left out in the bathroom and expect her not to get even. XD. cya
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andrea - 2004-06-19 12:54:49
That story was toasteriffic!
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Cosmicrayola - 2004-06-19 18:39:32
I sometimes think you were cursed at birth. Nobody should have a day like that! I know you were happy about finding the money, but hell, it wasn't even yours! I know you were happpy about the guy getting a good deal on the speakers, but it wasn't you! But on the flip side, you aren't paying out money because you son bit off a finger, so ok, maybe you're not cursed. (but close to it.)
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Paula - 2004-06-19 21:32:23
Ur funny. This is my first time reading you. Your writing is so decriptive, I could just picture everything just like I was there.
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heathir - 2004-06-20 07:06:40
Happy Father's Day, UB! May your day be filled with happy moments.
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DeAnn - 2004-06-20 18:57:40
I definitely think you should tell the speaker guy the story. If he hasn't gutted your speakers yet, why wouldn't he make the trade for what he wanted in the first place?
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elvisload - 2004-06-20 23:32:58
wtf is a gutted speaker...?...and who would buy one?..or two...for that matter...i mean is it a box?...u know...speaker box that had speakers in it...but was gutted...?
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erin - 2004-06-21 00:24:45
Happy Father's day.: )
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Jimmy - 2004-06-21 09:53:55
When do I get my blowjob?
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Darrell Hammond - 2004-06-21 12:40:51
Sparky the Human Lobotomy -- now THAT'S funny!
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Ginny - 2004-06-24 14:18:00
One time in New Orleans, these smelly hippies were selling nitris balloons right outside of the bar. Since I was buying in bulk, I didn't feel it was necessary to pay $5 a balloon. But, they were trying to get to the next rainbow gathering and they wouldn't budge on the price. The next day, I woke up missing my credit card, so I went back to the balloon station figuring it fell out when I was getting the cash out of my pocket the night before. There were hundreds of black balloons covering the grass, so I had to kick them everywhere to try to find the credit card. I didn't find it, but I did find a wad of cash. A large wad of cash. It was the hippie's and I didn't feel bad about using it at the bar. Eventually, my credit card was sent to my house from a bar telling me they charged me $125 from an unpaid bar tab. I guess I forgot to go back inside the bar after the balloons. I still came out ahead. Fuckin hippies.
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