Comments:

Not Cindy Crawford - 2004-07-12 08:44:42
Nice family...lol
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JP - 2004-07-12 08:59:56
Pardon me if this sounds rude, but I sure love it when family comes to visit you, UB. Your entries are the best during these times of suffering for you and Andrew! But, I can't believe it has been three years since your mom moved. I have been reading daily for well before that. I must get a life of my own.
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saidnot - 2004-07-12 09:04:54
This is why I don't have a dinning room table or a guest room. And I'm seriously thinking about removing the couch from the livingroom and replacing it with straight-back chairs.
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meghan - 2004-07-12 09:11:58
I'm a preschool teacher, and every child I've ever met named Dylan has been a total pain in the ass. I even have a cousin named Dylan, and I can't stand him.
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warcrygirl - 2004-07-12 09:38:11
Holy fuck, UB! I would have gotten ugly right about the time the train connected with Andrew's head. Please tell me he used a washable marker? Try Mr Clean's Magic Eraser, it may get most of it off. I have cousins like that, trust me, I feel your pain.
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Moxie - 2004-07-12 09:44:28
Go buy a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser before you break out the paint. At least he didnt peel wallpaper off. NO amount of Magic Eraser got *that fixed* in my house.
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Weetabix - 2004-07-12 09:53:49
I was just coming in here to recommend the Magic Eraser but I see that I've been beaten to it (twice). So, ok, I recommend a stun gun instead. A couple of prods with that little beauty and the nephews/grand-nephew won't want to go anywhere near Unca Bawb's house. Love that operant conditioning.
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IshKabibili - 2004-07-12 10:02:03
Well, UB I was in Tallassee Friday and I wondered what that wailing noise come from the west was. Now I know it was Andrew being tortured by the Texan. Hope he isn't scarred for life.
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bob - 2004-07-12 10:23:26
wow...just wow
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Chris - 2004-07-12 10:45:18
Bob- I feel your pain from a distance. My son is as sweet as they come. He totally rolls over for jack-asses like Dylan. I have a nephew who is a complete jerk to my son, but my son is so nice in return. I can't say that it has ever escalated to the point that you've witnessed, but I know how you feel. It's also so easy to handle these situations when it is your siblings' kid doing this crap. I'm going to send my nephew to your house for a week or so. Have fun and try to keep a sense of humor about these awful situations.
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Lando - 2004-07-12 11:07:18
any coincidence he wrote 'XP'? and i can almost sympathize with little dylan, i bet he wondered into the room not knowing that the mere spiral from the aeroplane flies high would send him on a rampage (much like anyone who shelled out the cash for it).
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Groovn-girl - 2004-07-12 13:39:12
I got rid of the trundle bed under my daughter's daybed, the air mattress my mother bought for her over night visits, and all spare pillows and most of the blankets at my house. If someone HAS to come to my house overnight, they're screwed. Because I don't let people sleep on my couches either. Just feed them that crap that the oils from your skin ruins the upholstery. No one will stay on a cold, hard floor with no pillows unless they're drunk. Then it's okay. Oh yeah, and don't buy any groceries the week before the visit. Good Luck man. Buy Andrew a helmet.
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stella - 2004-07-12 13:39:12
I second the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. Those things are a parent's best friend.
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HRT - 2004-07-12 15:08:15
All I can say is that when I was a kid, even the slow kids "got it" pretty quick. But then when I was a kid if we even thought about defaming a relatives house...well all I can say is that we were quickly taken to a very dark, very lonely place filled with much pain. But then I guess parents were savages back then, having the gaul to discipline their children. Kids are oh so much better off now. (he says with his tongue firmly planted in his cheek)
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 - 2004-07-12 15:08:57

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- 2004-07-12 15:09:27

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Kari - 2004-07-12 15:35:13
UB - I feel for you! I have a friend with a child just like that, and frankly, I don't see much of her because I flat out can't stand the sight of her kid. I'm telling you, total lack of dicipline. Wheee! I think Meghan is right, I don't know a single Dylan that isn't out of control....
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Cosmicrayola - 2004-07-12 15:48:45
I think if I were you, whenever the "relatives" come for a visit, I would book myself and my famiy into a cheap, but clean motel for the duration and tell everyone I had to go out of town. Cheaper than the cost of emergncy rooms and painting the house.
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Drew - 2004-07-12 15:51:23
I think your are being completely unreasonable! Poor Dylan. He just is mis understood and need more love. Espically now. Don't you see he was simply acting out because he was away from home? It's a classic case of infant-dellusional-tantrum. As a physcology studyen (1 st year, comunity college) I think I have a bit of expertise in this area and can tell you straight out that you were wrong. Please let me know if I can offer you any further advice. You're Welcome, A Future PHD in Physc.
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Genghis Jon - 2004-07-12 15:53:14
You know, I thought it would make you feel pretty good getting more votes than me, on my own site, on my own poll, even though it's been months since I won the freakin' thing. But I hear ya, new poll it is.
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tif - 2004-07-12 16:53:27
hes just having crack withdrawls. jeez. give the boy his crack i say!
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kelly - 2004-07-12 17:22:11
It's "professionals" like Drew up there who have created the Dylans of this world. I hope that comment was a joke. It is Dylan's parents responsibility to teach him manners and how to function normally in society. Dylan does not need pity, he needs discipline and structure. And he definitely does not need to be diagnosed with some "syndrome" that allows his actions to be not only ignored but excused and unpunished.
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Cecelia - 2004-07-12 17:54:35
He's three? Not much more than a baby, really. Let's place the anger and hostility where it belongs: on the grandmother and parents. My three year old has written on the walls before. Whose hasn't? Does that make my child and YOUR child horrible? Please! He sees a marker, a clean wall, and it doesn't matter whose house it is - HE'S THREE FOR CHRISSAKE! And I DO feel sorry for the little boy. Identifying a problem, even labeling it, doesn't "excuse" bad behavior, but it does perhaps indicate that some compassion is required. And patience. But to "hate" any child for acting his age is just wrong.
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epipie - 2004-07-12 19:15:23
I don't know. Is it just me that thinks UB should limit the amount of soft drinks he has in sight when the relatives are in town? I would've learned by the first time to hide them somewhere when they're around. It's amazing the crap people will put up for family. Maybe I'll understand it one day.
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Bingoguy - 2004-07-12 20:51:47
I one hundreth the Magic Eraser EXCEPT I recommend buying a few of them I went through a box of 'em in a few minutes taking marker off the wall. So, BE WARNED. Although, it came off, that was the good news. Perhaps you also look into review what toys you allow your son to play with that others could harm him with. haha.
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Nysha - 2004-07-12 20:57:15
While I think it was a good idea to send them to Grandma's house, I agree with Cecelia. The kid is 3 and his behavior was age appropriate. If I recall your 3 yo decorated the house with poo a few months ago.
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grassyknoll - 2004-07-12 20:59:11
Dylan is obviously a kid who doesn't get smacked enough. Or gets smacked too much...across the head...which has caused his brain to become dislodged...and float about aimlessly in his fluid-filled skull...and throw metal at toddlers...and I like using dot-dot-dots.....
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grassyknoll - 2004-07-12 21:02:28
On a more serious note, the kid is not to be hated as much as the parents who permit this kind of behavior. But by sugarcoating Dylan's bullshit with all this psychological meandering is just piling excuses upon excuses. Horseshit that the kid can't help himself. Like hell he can't. You MAKE him help himself. That's what authority figures are FOR, so that in ten years he isn't replacing the Magic Markers with knives and the wall with a woman's face.....
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Melis - 2004-07-12 22:10:11
We know a Dylan who happens to be Satan's Spawn. Kid is a nightmare. My husband is sitting here behind me praying that our bebe-to-be won't be a poo painter. I'd better not name him Dylan...
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lucas - 2004-07-12 22:17:08
shit man... just frikkin smack the tard upside his overly large head....
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Lori - 2004-07-12 22:30:25
I know 2 Dylans - one is totally strung out on drugs and the other is just a plain asshole. People, don't ever name your kids Dylan. You're just asking for a world of trouble!!
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PeeWee - 2004-07-13 00:19:22
Thank Gawd I had a hysterectomy. But I would have named my kid Ed.
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Flicgirl - 2004-07-13 10:45:23
I'm now thinking twice about inflicting kids and motherhood on myself. Man and I thought my crazy cousin was bad. Is it just me or are kids now getting worse? I remember 14 years ago when my cousin and I were little, we dared not even TOUCH something in a relative's house without first asking our parents. But my current batch of cousins now, they would just tear up anyone's house without batting an eye.
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Jamie - 2004-07-13 11:53:13
At least now you know for next time to Dylanproof the house first.
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Amy - 2004-07-13 16:30:01
Any chance Dylan's autistic?
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