Comments:

cosmicrayola - 2004-08-09 08:31:17
Ya, kids do some strange things. My niece was once taked to the ER. She had stuffed about 3 raisens and a couple of peanuts up her now. And watch the ears. They like sticking things too.
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cosmicrayola - 2004-08-09 08:32:00
Ummmm, that should have been "up her nose".
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Lando - 2004-08-09 08:34:07
fat white guy at a rick james concert? uncle bob, thats all there was at rick james concerts.
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Skatemom - 2004-08-09 09:00:50
My sister did that with a button. When she blew, all that happened was a whistle!! i have no idea how my mom got it out.
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ScottyP - 2004-08-09 09:02:58
I choked on a gumball from a supermarket candy machine once. Turned blue and everything. I don't remember how my parents got it out...probably the early 70s Heimlich maneuver, where they turned you upside-down and pounded the crap out of you until whatever was lodged in your throat popped out.
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BlooEyeDevil - 2004-08-09 09:14:11
Well, coming from a non-imaginary EMT, GOOD JOB Unc!
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mizlizzy - 2004-08-09 09:28:52
Again, I am reminded why you are still one of my favorites after 3 years on Diaryland...you still make me laugh so hard!!! Thank you for giving me a smile in an otherwise unspectacular day.
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BigpimpinMBA - 2004-08-09 09:35:09
Bob - You are one fast thinking hero. I dread the day that something is shoved in some random orifice of one of my kids, just because they needed to see what would happen. Your tale of bravery in the face of danger is an inspriation to me that I will be a little more prepared when that day arrives (and we all know it will). Hopefully, it's not during the Tricentenial or anything. Those only come around every 3 leap years, you know.
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saidnot - 2004-08-09 10:05:39
Ok. I'll throw in a chunk of crepe sole from my brother's Hush Puppies up his nose in the middle of church ... the seed pod from some wild grass in his nose that wasn't discovered til it was running green slime, and I'll raise you a french fry that got lodged in mine. I was eating while watching the Donny & Marie Show. Donny was riding this folding bicycle, quite unsucessfully, and I started laughing. The fry in my mouth was suddenly lodged in the back of my nose. I didn't do the close a nostril and blow maneuver ... I had to do close one and inhale. Thank goodness it came out, but then I had a booger-covered fry in my mouth. YECH!
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Dr. Phil's Hemorrhoid - 2004-08-09 10:07:01
The shoving of small objects into orifices is a staple of childhood development. I recommend that everyone who has a child under the age of 7 have a couple of sets of long hemostat clamps around the house. Then get rid of 'em when the kid turns 12 or they'll be doing roach clip duty behind the garage.
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Lori - 2004-08-09 10:09:28
It was beans that went up the nose at our house. We too, had to blow until our brains were coming out along with those beans. But more vividly remembered, my being the human piggy bank. My older brother and sister would give me coins and make me swallow them. It wasn't hard making them go down, but can't remember if they hurt coming out! I could probabaly be a millionaire today if I had saved all my poop from my younger days.
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Flashlightning - 2004-08-09 10:36:12
I remember it well.
Pre-school...
It was a piece of chalk. And at that age, a piece of chalk is pretty big. :)
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Wendyloo - 2004-08-09 10:42:43
Good thinking. At least it wasn't an Altoid like Buddy did and then screamed "it burns, it burns" the entire time at the ER while it melted. Ended up with a saline flush.
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erica - 2004-08-09 11:24:33
My friend's son shoved a lego up his nose. Her husband pulled it out with needle nose plyers. I never thought the "nose" part was supposed to be literal prior to that incident. I like your moral. =)
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schecki - 2004-08-09 11:34:34
"imaginary training as an EMT" -snerk-

Wendyloo - That has to be one of the funniest things I've ever heard.
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Kelly - 2004-08-09 11:39:55
Friday night at the Peds ER up here in good ole' Huntsville was "shove it anywhere you can think of" night...pennies, rocks...you name it. One lil kid had to have the pebble surgically removed from his ear. I must say that I never did that type of thing as a kid and only Cameron did anything close...stuck a piece of foam off an outdoor chair that had been rained on up his nose...who knows how long it had been there when we started smelling it! That was the first time he ever had to go to the dr. for anything other than his well baby check ups...he was 2 at the time.
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liss - 2004-08-09 12:19:26
i put a chocolate chip (or numerous chocolate chips?) into my nose and they became stuck. my mom heated a towel in the microwave and pressed it on my face and the chocolate melted out. it was the worst! i had chocolate snot the next day, too. i still cannot eat chocolate on purpose.
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kaki321 - 2004-08-09 13:40:35
I had a firend who was an insruance claims processor. She told me a story once about a lady in the Bayou who stuck a sweet potato up her vagina for some womanly ritual. Several months later she was complaining of severe leg and abdominal pain. Turns out the sweet potato sprouted "roots", what with the moisturious environment and all, and she had to have surgery to remove the roots from her tummy and upper thigh region. Wild eh?
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Pisser - 2004-08-09 13:48:42
I heard that story, but it was told in the form of a joke, complete wid a bad accent, "dere's a VINE in mah vagina!!!" Horrors. Better check Snopes.com. I, as well, never shoved a foreign object up my nose. I must be stunted. I am beginning to think that our cat, who eats THE FLOOR, is the same IQ as your average kid. We had to take him to the vet to get the flooring removed from his stomach. FUN.
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hotcarl - 2004-08-09 13:49:58
Nice work tieing in Andrew's nasal anecdote and the Rick James tale. Very nice work in deed.
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Pisser - 2004-08-09 13:50:53
Here ya go... http://snopes.com/medical/emergent/potato.htm Dang....
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kaki321 - 2004-08-09 13:53:03
Thanks pisser, I knew that bitch was lying to me about processing that claim. lol
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Jamie - 2004-08-09 14:02:00
Wow.... what a random entry. Meh. Whatev.
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Groovn-girl - 2004-08-09 14:20:02
I got an M&M stuck in my bellybutton when I was about 3. My Mom freaked the fuck out and took me to the ER. (She was pregnant with little sis so... maybe that explains it?) I mean, What the fuck? It was an M&M!!!
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Bingoguy - 2004-08-09 14:28:18
1976? Did you sister misunderstand Vinny Barbarino when he said "Up your nose with a rubber hose"?
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Jess - 2004-08-09 14:40:49
Have you told Andrew what his aunt did all those years ago? Kudos to you on the ending to the entry.
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Marg - 2004-08-09 15:30:06
Heh.... years back I worked in a Surgical ward, where a guy came in with a deodorant bottle stuck so far up his rectum, he needed surgery to remove it - his story? The bottle was "sitting" on the toilet seat and he "sat on it, accidentally".... heyeah, riiiight!
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Elaine - 2004-08-09 16:28:57
Never understand people wanting to put things up their noses...I'm always trying to get stuff out that I never put there in the first place. Good wrap-up.
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Molly - 2004-08-09 16:29:20
If you're ever in Philadelphia you *have* to take Andrew to the Mutter Museum (http://www.collphyphil.org/muttpg1.shtml). There's a fantastic filing cabinet in the lower level that contains the Chevalier Jackson collection. Every tiny little file drawer is filled with objects Jackson pulled out of someone's nose or esophagus. Everything from campaign buttons, to wads of meat, to pins (both safety and non). And there's a folder on top of the cabinet with the people's case histories and whether they died or not. That should scare the kid straight. Or induce him to greater heights of nasal daring. One or the other.
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saidnot - 2004-08-09 17:10:00
Molly, That reminds me ... the Dr. who took out my tonscils, just 6 years ago, has shadow boxes on his office walls filled with objects he's removed from ears, noses and throats.
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elayne - 2004-08-09 17:15:14
When I was in the 2-4 range, we had some horrible experiences with my nose. I stuck pieces of hot dog up my nose. I stuck wadded-up aluminum foil up my nose, which rotted and made my whole face swell up. As my mother was getting ready to take me to the doctor, an old lady in my grandfather's store was cooing over me and saying what a beautiful baby I was, and I chose that moment to sneeze rotten, pungent, snot covered aluminum foil all over her clothes. Oddly, the one I get teased for the most as an adult is the only one that WAS in fact an accident - I was playing with a pencil, using the eraser end to push my upper lip into odd shapes, when it slipped and went up my nose. When I removed the pencil, it was missing the eraser. Had to have that removed at the emergency room. After the eraser-blockage was removed, all the pepper that my mom had been funnelling into my nose was finally able to take effect and I couldn't stop sneezing for a week. Thanks to Kaki and Pisser for a new great UL!
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Kristin - 2004-08-09 17:19:23
That story made me think of a time, just after Halloween one year. We'd gone to visit my family--and I was playing with my cousins. Trying to make them laugh, I stuck a Red Hot up my nose. They cracked up....and even harder when I ran around screaming "it burns! it burns!" (like the altoids guy) My cousins were five. I was in my twenties.
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Wendyloo - 2004-08-09 17:22:32
The Altoids guy is only 4 years old! and he did it over a year and half ago.
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heather - 2004-08-09 17:39:30
haha. it wasnt up my nose but... when i was about 6 years old i had a pair of jeans with little metal stars/moons/hearts around the pockets and i ripped them off... well i decided to suck on the star and lay on the floor. well it slid down my thraot and i got tired so i took a nap. when i woke up every time i took a breath it hurt. when my mom asked why i didnt want to got to the store with her i told her i couldnt breathe. let me tell you i remember the look of horror on her face even today. we had to go to the emergency room and found out they had to stick a tube down my throat to get it out- it had gotten stuck in my esopogus! haha. my poor mom.
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rie rie - 2004-08-09 19:02:14
Ah, the thrills of parenthood. We had to extract a pebble out of our little one's nose at about that age. She had shoved it waaaay up there. Hubby calmly extracted it with tweezers while I stood there freaking out. Somehow tweezers going up the nostril just didn't seem like a good idea to me. Our oldest shoved a cocoa puff up a nostril once, also. That was easily taken care of with the Crush and Blow method. Much amusement for us!
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21_18 - 2004-08-09 20:08:12
I did that when I was five with a red bead. It was stuck in my sinuses for two years, until one day I sneazed and it came out!!
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Squeakster - 2004-08-10 07:54:29
I don't know how old I was but I was old enough to have the manual dexterity to disassemble an ink pin. In those days, the push button pens had a small metal cylinder piece separating the two parts of the plastic barrel where they screwed together. This cylinder when inserted correctly up a nostril did not block the air passage and could not be blown out. The grandmother supplied ER trip perplexed staff for hours (I remember them giving up many times and sending in yet another nasal explorer). Finally, someone succeeded with a hand-made contraption that had an appropriate sized piece of surgical rubber attached to its end. The rubber thingy provided enough friction along the inside walls of the metal cylinder so that it could be fished out. I'm certain they kept the device for future use and probably named it “The Squeaker”!
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Kelly - 2004-08-10 08:33:31
Kristin...CLASSIC! Have you ever considered a career in child care? lol
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biensoul - 2004-08-10 11:20:53
My sister jammed half of a red crayon up her nose when she was almost three...THAT was an interesting afternoon at the emergency room. Good for you for avoiding it!
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Laura - 2004-08-10 13:50:05
My kid put 3, yes **3** Kix cereal balls up his nose - one nostril. And a small, elusive rock in his ear. Hopefully, he's done putting foreign objects in his various orifices for a while.
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HRT - 2004-08-10 14:35:42
The first time I almost died was when I was about 2 and I shoved a paperclip up my nose. To this day I have no clue as to what would possess a child to begin putting objects into body cavities but I just pray to God that it's not genetic. Cause if so I'm in for at least two trips to the ENT doctor.

Lord have mercy on us all.
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Lojo - 2004-08-10 14:55:42
My ex-husband worked in an ER in San Francisco. One night a guy came in with a cucumber shoved so far up his rectum he couldn't get it out. It was finally removed and under Dr's Advice on the discharge papers was written "Advised patient to learn to chew food better". I laughed my ass off when I saw that.
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Red - 2004-08-11 10:39:31
Heh. When I was about 3 years old, for some reason, I stuck a button up my nose. I distinctly remember looking in the mirror, and doing it. I think it *may* have had something to do with a movie that showed women with nose piercings or rings. Not sure. Anyway... My Mom freaked. She said, "BLOW, Red! BLOW!" And for some reason, I was so frightened by her reaction, that I sucked air INTO my nose instead of blowing it OUT. Uh-duh. When we went into the ER, the doctors did a scan, and said, "There's nothing up there." The button was clear, you see, and so they couldn't detect it. My Mom was really pissed, as you can imagine. Two weeks later, I was out walking with my Grandma, and I sneezed. She gave me a hanky, and what do you know? I finally blew the damn thing out. But you know, 21_18's story of the red bead definitely beats mine. 2 years, that's incredible! On another note, it's too bad Rick James was such a sick individual. Super Freak is such a cool song. ;-)
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