Comments:

Muffin - 2005-08-24 07:21:02
I stood outside with the other outcasts smoking and listened (eavesdropped) to five women justify why they smoked during pregnancy. Susie would not have even made a dent in that woman's behavior; with other pregnant women validating and sanctifying each other's smoking during pregnancy, she would have got more mileage talking to the biscuit.
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Barry - 2005-08-24 07:37:32
Now if that had been a "rubber biscuit" you could have shot it right back!
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Shissher - 2005-08-24 07:45:12
My husband and I had a friend who's wife would smoke during her pregnancy. I never said anything, but she must have known that I was appalled, so she tried to justify it. She told me that she heard that the baby would have a low birth weight, which would mean the labor wouldn't be so bad.
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Robin - 2005-08-24 09:18:13
Good for Susie! I'm glad she had the nerve to say something. I had a homerun ball almost hit me at an Orioles game. My bf and I were sitting way out and he's like "oh, they wont come out that far." *crack!* All I saw was the trejectory of the ball coming right for my head. My first thought was "omg this is gonna hurt if it hits me" my second thought was "omg I'm going to be attacked by all the guys trying to get the ball!" So if I was on tv, you would have seen me sceaming and ducking. (my bf caught it, but it bounced out of his hand and the kid next to him got it. Bastard.)
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robin - 2005-08-24 09:20:52
PS whenever I hear "Candy Shop" I think of you now. Hahahah!
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Andy - 2005-08-24 09:38:57
Biscuit cannon? what friggin planet do you live on? Homer-world?
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awittykitty - 2005-08-24 09:52:25
Too bad one of those 89 mph baseballs didn't knock that freakin' cancer stick out of Mom-to-be's hand. That certainly would have been poetic justice!
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hydrogeek - 2005-08-24 09:55:11
I've never seen my husband so mad as when he drove by the biggest white trash residence in our fair town and saw Mama Trash 7 months pregnant with a cig in one hand and a beer in the other. The baby was born very premature, she calls him their "miracle baby". Keep in mind this was her 3rd and her husband's 7th child, of course. We decided her hubby must have a good sperm count to make up for his bad teeth count.
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C - 2005-08-24 09:58:29
Mmmmm biscuits. Was there a gravy cannon too?
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justagirl - 2005-08-24 10:46:11
My mom smoked through her pregnancy with me, and when I found out I was really really angry, cause it's fine if she wants to mess with her health, but she was messin' with mine!! So I had a very low birthweight and she justified it by saying it would have caused me too much stress if she would have quit while she was pregnant with me (which is what the doctor apparently told my sister in law too who smoked while she was pregnant with my neice) Anyhow maybe there were some benefits, I am so anti-smoking that being around it makes me gag, like want to puke gag not cough gag.... it's kinda funny in a holy crap there are a lot of people in the world who smoke.... SOOOO lesson to be learned. MOTHERS DON'T SMOKE WHEN YOU ARE PREGNANT, OR YOUR CHILD WILL HAUNT YOU FOREVER ABOUT QUITTING... I'm 28 now and my mom hears about the dangers of smoking every time I see her and it leaves both of us mad at each other. (visits with her are lovely.... we both end of screaming and slamming!) DON'T SMOKE!
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The Boy - 2005-08-24 11:11:03
ummm... anyone gotta light ? seriously though.... the biscuit bazooka should have been set to "semi-auto" and aimed to knock the cancer-stick outta her mouth.
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Amy - 2005-08-24 11:19:59
Why the hell were they shooting biscuits out of a cannon?
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Amy - 2005-08-24 11:20:03
Why the hell were they shooting biscuits out of a cannon?
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Red - 2005-08-24 11:53:40
I once heard a *nurse* give justification for smoking during her pregnancy. Her son turned out to have a developmental delay. However, her other son was/is extremely smart, could read by three years old, etc. (I know, I used to babysit her kids.) My Mom didn't smoke while pregnant with me (she did yoga, and apparently, her labour was very easy, and only about 20 mins). However, she did have the occasional beer (just one with a meal or something). And I turned out to have problems with depression, personality disorder, etc. My boyfriend's Mom quit smoking when she found out she was pregnant. Later, after some tests, her doctor said that he was having withdrawal seizures in the womb, so she had to smoke one or two cigs a day. (Seriously, I was shocked, but she swears this is true.) So. What does that all mean? Absolutely Nothing. However, if I was pregnant, I'd give up smoking cigs AND drinking alcohol. Even better, I'd plan my pregnancy, and quit beforehand. Duh. The risks are too great. I wouldn't want to force my unborn child to deal with the nicotine and eleven-teen other chemicals that go with smoking. And yeah, I smoke. (Only outside, and only about 5 smokes a day.)
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Stevie - 2005-08-24 12:36:51
UB, you failed to generate any controversy at all over the smoking mom-- everybody agrees with you. Pay attention now, here's how you kick over a hornet's nest: Hey, smokers! Do you really think the laws of physics are going to be suspended just for you? Here's two words for ya: Peter. Jennings.
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I forgot - 2005-08-24 12:51:30
I doubt the baseball would have done any damage to Andrew if it hit him, he already seems mentally retarded.
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fifi - 2005-08-24 13:22:44
There are women who smoke, and drink, and have disgustingly healthy children, usually way too many of them.Then there are women like my friends C and H , who live healthy lives, don't smoke. Kids both have Down's syndrome. "I forgot" it isn't funny.
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danelle - 2005-08-24 13:41:00
Biscuits out of a cannon, huh? Alabama. And that's all I'm gonna say about that. The morning sickness is getting to me. Pass me my smokes. ha! kidding! I only smoked crack when I was pregnant, you know that.
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mind own business - 2005-08-24 14:22:45
So having a verbal argument about smoking with a pregnant woman would have been something to do? Idoits! Think about it, you can't change what someone does, and all it would do would make you look like a fool for getting in a pregnant womans face??? People pay attention to your own lives and worry about your families, not others who your words would have no meaning. You will all end up like the 80 year old next door neighbor who has nothing in his life but to keep kids soft balls that fly into his yard and call the cops when a dog pees on his petunias. I can't understand why people can't focus on their own lives. you are not the cigarette police.
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andhole - 2005-08-24 14:31:39
i heard that sometimes if a woman smokes before she's pregnant and then she quits when she gets pregnant it can be worse for the baby because her withdrawal symptoms from not producing any nicotine in her system put more stress on the fetus .. sounds like bullshit to me though.
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Perry Como's German Crack Whore - 2005-08-24 14:34:21
"Your mama blows dogs for spare change"? Spare change?? DUDE! We've got a UNION now, okay? Sign her -- you get free rabies shots and dental BTW Megan -- check past entries. Both Perry Como and the German Crack Whore have posted. We just got togther, through the miracle that is UB
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Stevie - 2005-08-24 15:10:57
Hey mind own business-- humanitarian interests aside, when a woman knowingly takes risks that have been shown to produce defective children, it IS my business. The medical expenses for low-birthweight babies are not trivial. That drives up insurance rates, including mine. Insurance doesn't cover everything, so that drives up hospital bills, including mine. And that becomes an escalating feedback loop. Later on, there's a good chance that child will require developmental help including special ed. That drives up taxes, including mine. To say nothing of the fact that educationally impaired children have a greater tendency to grow up to be problem adults. That affects everyone's society, including mine. If the smoking preggo was willing to absorb all costs, take all responsibility for the child well into adulthood, and promised to outlive the child, I would agree that her bad choices are none of my business. As it is, she's sticking me with the bill, in more ways than just the few I mention here.
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tracie - 2005-08-24 15:21:17
Here in CA you see so few people smoking that I just get all up-on-my-high-horse disgusted when I see *anyone* doing it -- I'd probably faint if I was a pregnant woman smoking. OTOH, I remember one time when I was about 9 months pregnant and I bought a six-pack of beer -- I wasn't going to drink any, it was for my husband -- and I remember all the dirty looks I got in the store and how mad it made me that all these people who didn't even know me had all mad up their minds that I was scummy and a bad mother. So I do try to remember that experience when I'm getting all judgemental on some other parent. Parenting is hard and being pregnant is no picnic either -- I can't imagine trying to kick a difficult habit like nicotine in that state -- it was all I could do to get out of bed most mornings.
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The Boy - 2005-08-24 15:23:13
The stadium Spectra-vision cam should've focused on her, and put the haggard scene up on the Jumbo-tron for the whole stadium to shame her.... then make her wear a Scarlet letter "C" on her bosom forever, that's old school discipline
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DanjerusKurves - 2005-08-24 15:54:13
Dear "Mind Own Business": smoking while pregnant is as much child abuse as smoking in a car with a child present, or smoking at home, or smoking AT ANY DAMN TIME. I supposed you find it acceptable to beat the crap out of children too, huh? What? it's just a little physical interaction. After all, smoking only affects the child physically.
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Nance - 2005-08-24 15:59:29
My Mom smoked from the time she was 15 or 16, but when she was preggers with me it made her nauseous, so she didn't. Regardless, I was born in a t.b. sanitarium 'cause she had inactive tuberculosis. And I'm the only one of three kids who never even tried cigarettes. My sibs don't smoke now, but they both tried. My Mom finally quit smoking 20 years ago, but the damage was already done. She's 74 now and slowly dying from emphysema--yeah, it's an ugly disease, so was that addiction worth it??? Believe it or not she says she still craves a cigarette every now and then. Crazy!!!
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stella - 2005-08-24 16:08:12
Robin - O's games are dangerous! I've been hit by a foul ball once, so we moved to the outfield, and then the homerun balls kept coming. Now we sit in the upper deck. Smoking with a child in utero, in the car, in the house, in your presence is just dumb. Fuck with your own health, not others.
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Seacub - 2005-08-24 16:14:00
A biscuit cannon? For reals? I've been to games with a hot dog cannon... well I'll be damned. A biscuit cannon.
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Sarah - 2005-08-24 16:40:47
a woman i used to nanny for smoked through both of her pregnancies. the funny part is that she's an ob gyn who specializes in pre-natal care, and her husband is a pediatrician. she always justified it by saying that if she didn't smoke, her kids would come out weighing 12 lbs each. goes to show that even the brightest of people are sometimes the biggest idiots.
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z. - 2005-08-24 18:06:56
My mom had a friend, she was pediatrician. The first time she took care of her first grandson, she dislocated his shoulder because she held him wrong. So being "educated" means nothing. And about the smoking, there is a thing called intergenerational justice (or distributive justice) which means that today's adults must take care of tomorrow's. Just as yesterday's adults acted so you could be here. Fucked up, but still, you are here. gŁey
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cosmic - 2005-08-24 18:14:18
Thirty plus years ago when I was pregnant with my two kids, the doctors never said anything about smoking. They said an occasional beer was good for you. I never drank. Back then, the dangers were not known. If I were (God forbid!) to get pregnant now, I wouldn't even take an asprin.
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funnytome - 2005-08-24 19:16:28
raise your hand if you think smoking during pregnancy is pure-d wrong and also happen to be pro-choice. "don't smoke and harm your baby! just kill the little fucker!" seriously, when are people going to learn that smoking isn't a choice? some people are just born with a nicotine addiction (i know i was) and we all have to learn to embrace alternative lifestyles, like people who are born white or heterosexual and still read unclebob.
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Tenshi - 2005-08-24 20:41:45
Yes, I'm sure you can be born with a nicotine addiction. Just like people can be born with alcoholism. Or ADD. Yup.
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Kait - 2005-08-24 21:52:46
Hee. Never have been or wanted to be pregnant, but I would've seen that close-call baseball as a "mind your own business, lady" baseball. Our bodies are ours to do whatever we like.
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Kait - 2005-08-24 21:54:07
Hee. I would've seen that baseball as a "mind your own business, lady" baseball. Awesome.
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Blue Meany - 2005-08-24 22:28:09
First: Your wife is my hero.
Second: You've made me hungry for biscuits.
Third: I have never seen the phrase "sumpin' sumpin'" actually spelled out. It looks ... interesting.
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Sharon - 2005-08-24 22:38:46
The team's name is the biscuits; that's why the cannons shoot biscuits.
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Stevie - 2005-08-24 23:22:44
"Our bodies are ours to do whatever we like... and if you get stuck with the consequences of our bad choices, that's too bad for you." Thanks, Kait. I appreciate strangers making that choice for me. I want nothing more out of life than to clean up after them. It's absolutely fine if they force me to spend my money on their damaged kids instead of on my healthy ones. After all, they have a right to force me to work for them. Thank you for articulating so clearly the Doctrine of Ultimate Selfishness.
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controversal - 2005-08-25 01:36:34
you wanted it uncle bob you got it. bottom line a person yelling at a pregnant person would look like the villian. we all make our own choices.
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NOT a stevie - 2005-08-25 01:39:39
grow up. Pick steve or even steven. No one can take anything you write seriously with the name stevie, including me lol
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Tenshi - 2005-08-25 07:57:35
Maybe that's his point.
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missicat - 2005-08-25 08:04:14
47 years ago, my mother in law smoked while pregnant with my husband, in fact was lighting up on the way to the hospital. He is almost disgustingly healthy and in great shape. She quit smoking, had my brother-in-law ten years later. He has cancer. Go figure. Let's face it, folks simply like to feel self-righteous and holier than thou.
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Stevie - 2005-08-25 10:05:47
They were calling me Stevie before you were wiping your own butt. It's not likely to change. I always get a kick out of people who dismiss decades of conclusive scientific studies because they know one anecdotal story of an exception to the rule. Lemme guess: science wasn't your best subject. And saying I resent being forced to pay for someone else's bad choices makes me holier than thou? Not even Picasso could connect those dots.
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not old man stevie - 2005-08-25 12:29:09
let me guess you are a miserable old man ........whose wife is 600 pounds and you havent gotten any in foreve, so you kept the name "stevie" in hopes that some woman will talk to you. You are the old man who steals the childrens toys ( see above) you are old and you are closer to death, try to pull people closer to you and not be so harsh, after all people still hate Hitler/stevie lol lol. Eat your fiber and shut the hell up.
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politically correct - 2005-08-25 12:38:22
hahaha, "shut up and eat your fiber" I am still laughing......... you gotta love the internet!
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Stevie - 2005-08-25 12:58:55
Let you guess? Okay, go ahead. Let's see: wrong, wrong, and oh, btw, wrong. You have a real gift for fantasy. Why are you giving it away here when you could be getting paid for it? Call J.K. Rowling's agent.
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Stevie - 2005-08-25 13:03:20
P.S. By engaging in personal attacks, you're pretty much admitting you don't have anything useful to add to the debate. Thanks for giving up so easily.
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life is too short - 2005-08-25 13:15:08
You need to relax people. Go smell the flowers, read a good book, hell, hug your huge wife Stevie, but most of all take care of yourself and dont worry about others after all Steveie apparently is paying for all the problems in todays society! NEVER surrender NEVER give up
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missicat - 2005-08-25 14:40:15
So you don't want to may for other people's mistakes? Before you all start with that line of reasoning, ask yourself this - do you drink, smoke, not exercise, not wear a seatbelt? If I saw you in a McDonalds, am I entitled to slap that french fry out of your hand because I don't want to pay for your third double bypass??? BTW - Danjerkurves - in makeing that leap from smoking to child abuse, did you actually pull a muscle? Lighten up...
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Steview - 2005-08-25 15:20:20
No, no, no, no, and you wouldn't because I don't eat there. Even if all of those things were true, I would never tell you that you weren't entitled to complain about the costs of it. (Which is where this all started.) I'd have the honesty to admit that I was dumping on you. The "I have a right to indulge myself on your dime" types can't bring themselves to do that.
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DanjerusKurves - 2005-08-25 15:30:24
missicat: I'm terribly sorry if my simple theory evaded your lack of intellectual capacity. Personally, I don't see risking a child's health as something to "lighten up" about. As far as me pulling a muscle... sure thing, dahling, I weigh-train four times a week, don't smoke, drink lightly, eat healthily... and the only opinion of MY lifestyle that counts is mine. Because, I do not abuse anything or anybody. ... unless you count masturbation as self-abuse.
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DanjerusKurves - 2005-08-25 15:44:07
Damn work interruptions before I'm done pontificating! I think this about sums it up:

It's foolish to make a dangerous choice for yourself. It's unconscionable to make such a choice for a helpless child.
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clap clap clap - 2005-08-25 16:08:46
wish you had more interruptions at work. It is easy to say anything on the internet, like how healthy you are and working out 4 times a week, give me a break. We all know why you masterbate and how many Star Wars flicks you have probably seen. So again another useless comment of some self-centered person. YOU are dismissed. PS saw Steveie's wife at Mickey Ds.
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MeansNothing - 2005-08-25 16:17:35
Jeffery Dahmers mom didn't smoke. He did love his Sam & Eggs.
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DanjerusKurves - 2005-08-25 17:57:34
I think I'll quote Stevie on this one: Stevie - 2005-08-25 13:03:20 P.S. By engaging in personal attacks, you're pretty much admitting you don't have anything useful to add to the debate. Thanks for giving up so easily. :D
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Kitty - 2005-08-25 19:28:31
Smokers & their nasty habit suck!
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Squeakzilla - 2005-08-26 05:44:31
Damn, I missed it! For the record, insurance rates would go up even if everyone pursued a healthy lifestyle. Taxes would likewise increase. It is the nature of these beasts. Will somebody please call me next time there's a UB comments section free-for-all going on? My mom smoked AND drank while pregnant with me. I'm pretty f**kedup about it (just for the record)!
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Not Cindy Crawford - 2005-08-26 09:02:54
I think U.B. ran away on his new lawnmower :o|
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C - 2005-08-26 10:54:55
Has anyone stopped to think that maybe if everyone spent more time worring about themselves and what they can do to better their own lives the world would be a better place. Mind your own business, folks. UB was right there. Your opinion is not going to change someone elses behavior so just worry about your own.
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mickfleetwood - 2005-08-26 19:36:21
"I appreciate strangers making that choice for me. - Stevie" Am I the only one who sees the irony there?
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Levontaun - 2005-09-05 01:54:29
Back in my druggie days, I once saw a girl who was at least 7 months pregnant snort a line of cocaine. I was morbidly offended and would have said something, but the coke was free and, well, you know, I didn't want to fuck up my share. But I always remembered seeing her do that and it always disgusted me. -Levontaun
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