Comments:

Joey - 2005-10-18 06:54:47
FIRST! Oh and I love your wife. She rocks!
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Will H - 2005-10-18 07:19:16
As a representative of Her Majesty’s Government, working for an agency tasked with protecting our citizen’s interests abroad, it has come to our attention that your neighbour is quite obviously a cad and a bounder and we, as a nation, remove any protection afforded to him as a subject of Her Majesty. We unreservedly revoke his citizenship and request that you treat him with extreme prejudice. Inform him that if he ever returns to dear ‘ol Blighty , there will be no scones and tea, but a reception committee waitng to relieve him of his bollocks and shall be inserting them up his jacksy without so much as a buy-or-leave. Bob’s your Uncle, as we say. Much Obliged. Cheerio.
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fifi - 2005-10-18 07:52:21
Hell hath no fury...Your wife is a smart, smart woman. Lucky Bob.
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Buy or Leave - 2005-10-18 08:19:41
By Your Leave
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IV:XX - 2005-10-18 09:34:32
Good idea! Maybe you should leave 2 or 3 info sheets every day so that it doesn't look TOO much like a prank. BTW, we love barbeque chicken and could be there in a couple of hours. All 5 of us! I'll go ahead and call home to tell the wife to gas us the minivan...
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Andy - 2005-10-18 09:36:04
No, no no! Replace the flyers with some you reprinted. You know... "Low, low low asking price!"

Don't forget to m ention how the house is haunted,and the stench from under the floor boards is barely noticable. Other features of the house could be "pirate treasure buried in back yard", or "house comes complete with pre-pubescent latino cababna boy" or "septic system works almost all the time"....etc. " House features extesnive pornography colletion in attic".."Free bunny for every one who comes to the open house..."
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Barb - 2005-10-18 09:49:00
How about Hamster? Or even better, Guinea Pig, that poops every 5 seconds?
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Barb - 2005-10-18 09:50:14
Get a spritz bottle of bleach and burn circles in his grass. If you want to be creative, you could even write stuff.
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fairygodmum - 2005-10-18 10:12:05
I'm sorry Uncle Bob... I don't get it. When you want to get rid of someone... don't you help them? By taking the flyers means they perhaps will be living across from you longer? I thought maybe, you were going to lower the suggested retail price on the house. When they get bids... wouldn't that be a surprise? Call me crazy, but I still think your wife rocks... tee hee Hugz n Lub, Bebe da FairyGodMum
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Sherry - 2005-10-18 10:29:46
UB - I love your wife - she rocks - and your not bad yourself!
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vitamin c - 2005-10-18 10:30:05
You totally have to do Andys idea! Then sit and watch the people read the flyers in the car. Awesome.
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elisha - 2005-10-18 10:40:17
haha spiteful neighbors with creativity make the world a better place. make sure she doesn't get caught. wear black and be sneaky.
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Squeakzilla - 2005-10-18 11:35:51
Your ass can swallow a bike seat? OMG you should get that checked! There's probably all kinds loose change and missing remote controls in there already.
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awittykitty - 2005-10-18 11:50:16
Damn I should have read this earlier, because all of my evil ideas have already been taken like writing evil messages on their lawn with bleach, re-doing their flyers with a ridiculously LOW price or highlight the fact that Elvis once slept there or tip off the FBI that Osama Bin Laden is hiding in the attic. I guess you have to get up early to beat out all your readers for evil doing. Snertz!
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Chris - The Original Chris - 2005-10-18 13:01:54
Awww how cute, you and your wife are perfect for each other, great minds think alike!
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kaleigh - 2005-10-18 13:57:29
Sounds like your wife is a keeper-- an evil genius. I admire that in a person. =)
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The Boy - 2005-10-18 14:21:05
UB... Up it one notch by changing the phone number on the For Sale sign by one number... they'll not notice since they have been looking at it all the time... changing a 6 toan 8 or a 7 to a 1 works well. no calls EVER!
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Meany - 2005-10-18 14:26:29
Will Susie move to Canada and have a lesbian marriage with me? Because I need some more revenge expertise in my life, and I'm sure my husband will be okay with it.
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Robby the Realtor - 2005-10-18 14:30:05
And, as long as you have the fliers, mark through the asking price with an "X" and scrawl "Reduced for quick sale" with an insanely low price beneath it, then go to the worst part of town and leave them in apartment laundry rooms. That should cause some merriment and mirth.
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Andy - 2005-10-18 15:39:02
include the phrase "...Will consider interesting trades"
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DanjerusKurves - 2005-10-18 16:37:31
Dump the unused food out on their front lawn . . . a week or two from now.
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Barb - 2005-10-18 17:08:08
Isn't revenge sweet? Read this... Not sure how UB can get to their (yet unknown new house to do this...) After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for his young secretary. His new girlfriend demanded that she wanted to live in the couple's multi-million dollar home, and since the man's lawyers were a little better, he prevailed. He gave his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out. She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay. When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning &mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air refresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked People stopped coming over to visit...Repairmen refused to work in the house...The maid quit... Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back... Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth...But only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home... including the curtain rods.
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British Guy - 2005-10-18 18:18:26
Talllllllyyyy hoooo, Where are all my flyers?
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MrsSquidley - 2005-10-18 21:55:08
Have friends call and make appointments to view the house, but have them not show up at all! After all... one good stiffing deserves one in return!! ROFL!
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Nance - 2005-10-19 06:50:58
UB, your wife is truly eeeeevillll, and I love it!!
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Mark - 2005-10-19 06:57:20
Hi all! First time poster, long time lurker... Off topic abit here. Check oput this Dilbert and spot the uncanny similarities to UB's recent problem... peace out http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/archive/dilbert-20051002.html
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Earl - 2005-10-19 08:13:03
Dude, Karma is so going to get you. You are going to get the worst neighbors EVER when these people move. Just remember that you brought it upon yourself!
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lorrie - 2005-10-19 12:14:38
I like--really really like--the phone number change. Suz, you rawk.
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neo cleo - 2005-10-19 18:53:38
". . . there's so much wasted space that it resembles the inside of Nicole Richie's skull." Heh, heh, good one. Can I rip, I mean borrow it off you sometime?
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Michele in Michigan - 2005-10-19 20:37:50
I am sensing that you want to undertake a project, strictly in the name of science, of course hehehe http://www.stinkymeat.net/
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