Comments:

Chunk - 2005-12-01 07:27:17
You would have been better working as piss boy. At least they wouldn't have been able to smell you, you bum
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Chunk - 2005-12-01 07:28:32
Here comes the real Piss Boy!
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Chunk - 2005-12-01 07:30:35
And third! Actually I didn't mean to comment twice the anti spam fags at diaryland called me a spammer for my first post...so I reposted a simpler version...
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Chunk - 2005-12-01 07:31:16
I'll stop while I'm ahead
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Shizanester - 2005-12-01 07:48:13
I got a good one for ya UB. Once upon a time I was sitting down doin the ole combo, and i didn't realize the little Iranian (my schlong) was partially sticking out of the gap between the lid and toilet. Concequently I pissed all over my pants. Oh, did I mention I was also at work? Sheeit!
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KA - 2005-12-01 08:06:40
All this time I was thinking that men had it easy, pissing anywhere at the drop of a hat. Whereas women had to squat, or find a respectable looking non-diseased toilet to do their business. You poor men. I'll never again remark on how easy you have it in the pee category. Hilarious, UB, hilarious!
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She who Squats to Pee - 2005-12-01 08:41:30
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! FINALLY SWEET REVENGE!! The testicleweight is a MYTH! BWAHAHAHAHA! Oh! and SEVENTH!
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BigPimpinMBA - 2005-12-01 09:00:42
Here's how you hide the fact that you pissed on your pants.... Wipe your ass with your pants. Nobody will even notice the piss.
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Perry Como's German Crack Whore - 2005-12-01 09:54:06
A solution: when you're all done, PISSBOY, follow these steps: 1. LOCK THE DOOR. 2. Take off both your pants and your underwear. 3. Throw the underwear AWAY. 4. Stand butt-naked holding your pants under the air-dryer until they're dry, maybe ten minutes tops. 5. Put the pants back on and go commando the rest of the day!
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Not Cindy Crawford - 2005-12-01 10:01:46
But Perry, what to do if there is no air-dryer? And what if you can't lock the door in the part of the room where is located the air-dryer? ;o)
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The Boy - 2005-12-01 10:08:40
I hope you taught lil' Andy better than that.... there's nowhere to hide a piss-water-mark on the playground
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Sandra - 2005-12-01 10:20:00
Um, ever consider running home to change??
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SnowCat - 2005-12-01 10:48:13
My sympathies, man. That must have been horrible.
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Plop Phizz - 2005-12-01 11:20:09
So let em get this straight. I am currently standing at the public urinal, with my laptop, just finishing up step six, and you are saying I have to wait until tomorrow for part two of your tutorial? -- P.P.
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Sherry - 2005-12-01 11:25:09
I am just about pissing my pants reading this one UB. Sorry, but I visualize this one!!! Don't you dare tell Andy about the testicleweight idea.....
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awittykitty - 2005-12-01 11:55:15
How could you NOT realize Mr. Happy was still safely enscounced in his correl? Yeeks. Were you dreaming of those Fairy Princess cereal chicks, Uncle Bob?
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Jendra - 2005-12-01 12:44:53
Oh my god, that is one of the funniest things I've read in weeks XD You poor bastard! @_@
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Mrs Squidley - 2005-12-01 13:35:30
It's times like these that I'm so glad I'm a woman! I never knew that a mans pee time could be so involved. That's just too many decisions in my book! Yeesh by the time I had to decide on one of those techniques I would have pee'd my pants! oopps sorry! ROFLMAO!!
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dd - 2005-12-01 15:54:38
did the smell not just completely overwhelm the office?
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Chris - The Original Chris - 2005-12-01 16:21:11
WOW I KNEW today was the day to check for a post even though I didn't get an email!!!! I've always been so jealous of guys and the ease of peeing but now I have a whole new view!
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Jessica - 2005-12-01 19:20:34
Like Elaine said, I don't know how you guys walk around with those things.
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Connie - 2005-12-01 21:31:30
Ditto what Jessica and Elaine said.
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Barb - 2005-12-02 09:12:18
Jessica, Connie, and Elaine, I don't think it's that hard to walk around "with one of those things" when it's that small....
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Tenshi - 2005-12-02 09:22:46
BWAHAHAHAHAHAH! :)
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westburian - 2005-12-02 11:27:02
Uncabob, Uncabob, Uncabob.... Knowing you, that story is probably not even true, but assuming it is.... First of all, switch to boxer shorts, you're obviously wearing those horrible 'jockey' underwear and the openings on those can be a pain in the ass if you're in a hurry, i.e., such as when ya really gotta go, hence the tendency to just pull the top down below the testicles. Jockey's are just too constricting. I quit wearing em after I was 16 or so. Secondly, after the damage is done, you could 'camoflouge' the incident, go to the sink and splash water all over the front of yourself, so that instead of the obvious piss stain, the entire front of your pants are wet, (kind of helps clean them too) splash some water up on your shirt too, and your face and your hair. Then, dry up as best you can with paper towels or whatever. When you emerge and you're coworkers give you strange looks about being soaked, you can say, damn sink faucet, some IDIOT must have put bubble gum over the nozzle, I'm friggin SOAKED!!! The other suggestion about throwing the underwear away is always a good one, there's no way I'd sit around all day in piss soaked underwear.
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Dear Shizanester - 2005-12-02 17:10:38
I too have suffered from the infamous gap between the lid and the toilet. It is hard to explain how it happens, but it does. It is a mystery that has caused me to throw out my underwear twice. I only laugh harder at the suckers that didnt notice their pants were dripping wet until the end of the show.
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Bing - 2005-12-02 18:30:57
The Boy said: "I hope you taught lil' Andy better than that.... there's nowhere to hide a piss-water-mark on the playground" The Uncle doesn't have to worry. Any boy that wants only princess cereal sits down to pee, just like the good little girl he wants to grow up to be.
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Michele - 2005-12-04 11:28:24
So...you smelled like piss all day at work?
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T - 2005-12-05 01:04:05
UB - thanks for the memories, and thanks to my university for wireless access in the classroom. You have helped me through law school more than you know. With UB, I always knew I would have at least one thing to do while in class. I read this post during my last class and realized that from now on, I'll be reading it as a free person. Free, as in I no longer have student loans to support me and I will have to find an employer with internet access. Again, thank you for everything you've done for me and for everything you've done for my future clients.
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Sleepy J - 2005-12-05 15:44:44
Could be worse. I had to attend to a friend who was so drunk that after he'd successfully navigated to a men's room stall, he honked out a stump before realizing he'd forgotten to drop his kecks. I miss that guy.
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