Comments:

mnlady - 2006-03-15 08:09:20
We'll admit it if you guys admit you're all assholes!!!! :-)
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Not Cindy Crawford - 2006-03-15 08:09:51
Why not treat us like a queen each and every day, you know, pms'ing or not? :oP
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unluckycharms - 2006-03-15 08:13:47
You know, it really isn't always PMS. Sometimes, we are just having a shitty day.
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Nameless - 2006-03-15 08:16:55
And sometimes, it really IS our personality.
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K - 2006-03-15 08:27:12
"once a month you wake up and think that men are the most ignorant species on the planet" -- we think that every damn day! Plus "ignorant" would be about the kindest word, I'd pick a lot stronger words.
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Jodeci - 2006-03-15 08:27:28
Dude, you NEVER ask if it's PMS. Never.
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chocolate chaos - 2006-03-15 08:28:21
huh? women ALWAYS think that men are ignorant!
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SnowCat - 2006-03-15 08:57:41
Damn! Some of these people are harsh! Granted, sometimes it really is just a shitty day as aforesaid, but female moodiness is a fact. Even other women suffer the repercussions of someone else's PMS. In fact, I read last month that women are "down" or depressed 4 days out of every month. But then again, I've known some mighty moody men...(I think they were all Cancers). And yeah, never ask a woman if she's having PMS. It only ups the ante to full-blown hysterics and hostility. It's a shame, 'cause that's one of those "there's no good choice here" things, like responding to "does this make me look fat?". Granted, any woman who asks that ought to be kicked in the ass... So says this fat-assed woman.
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Andy - 2006-03-15 09:10:16
PMS. yea. ok.sure. Talk about denial.

It's obvious that your wife is cheating on you(it wouldn't surpise me if it was a lesiban affair). All this weeping and hostility is due to a mixture of the guilt she is feeling, as well as the pain surfacing from the many, many loveless, lonely years she has thrown away by being married to the likes of you. Chrisake UB, that lovely, selfless woman has given you the best years of her life. Only now to be treated like a dog. Wake up UB and smell the divorce decree.
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Pfirsich - 2006-03-15 09:20:27
Yeah,I mean:what if she wears the shirt and then doesn´t have it?
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zoot - 2006-03-15 09:28:52
I guess I'm too polite, but I warn my guy a few days ahead of time when it's approaching. But still, even after I've warned him and it's in progress, he still asks me, "you got PMS?" No $#it sherlock.... oh- I've got mine right now. Isn't it pleasant?
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Andy - 2006-03-15 10:15:57
either that, or she has a tumor.
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jennifer - 2006-03-15 10:29:19
I don't acknowledge it, because it would mean that I have no control over my emotions, and quite frankly that's SCARY.
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onewetleg - 2006-03-15 10:44:08
One would think, after 18 years, April 29th, that you would have it down by now, but noooo. Clueless males still can't figure out how to count to 28, still can't figure out that saying "oh, honey are you PMS'sing will get your balls in a sling faster than some really fast thing I can't think of right now and still can't figure out how to make a warmer ice cube. And yet they walk on the fucking moon. Brilliant. Have a nice day, UB.
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awittykitty - 2006-03-15 10:51:30
And YOU want to tell your "hypothetical" wife to put on her pink "I'm PMSing" shirt when the time comes? Good luck Uncle Bob. I hope you have good medical insurance, because if you were my husband, you'd probably need a coroner.
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Jane - 2006-03-15 11:04:51
The shirt won't work, because she'll just ask you if it makes her look fat and you'll say, "No, but it makes you look like you've got PMS, har dee har," and then Applebee's will have to clean up the remnants of your testicles from underneath your basket of riblets. You can't win, honey. Try turning gay.
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JC - 2006-03-15 11:07:08
Ass.
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meme - 2006-03-15 11:19:20
I am leaning toward the fact that you can't do the math! 28 days !!! Is that so tough. damn buy a calandar.
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Denise - 2006-03-15 11:55:03
If you have to ask, it's PMS. In general, it is NOT A GOOD IDEA TO ASK, and women WILL NOT PUT ON THE SHIRT.

Now, me, I was always happy to be told I had PMS, since my schedule was a little off and I was never sure until the third PopTart. The external diagnosis was a relief. It's PMS! He will bring me caramels and he will shut up and get out of my way and tell me I'm not fat and I'm pretty! And soon this will all go away! YAY!

But I'm weird.
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The Boy - 2006-03-15 11:58:04
Damn UB... it's like you put out bitch-bait or something. You deal with what you got, and roll with the punches. I don't ask the blatant "are you PMSing ?" because I don't want to wear a cup all day long. the "are you feeling ok ?" usually will get the answer you need without the fireworks. Ladies -- you get in return how you are treated.... so treating/thinking of half the population that they are bungholes... and all you'll get back is ass-breath in your face
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DanjerusKurves - 2006-03-15 12:58:24
I must agree that we girls don't always know ourselves why we are suddenly feeling like aliens ... however, my former husband would usually ask me "Are we into the pink pills now?" [referring to the 7-days of placebo birth control pills]. I would also write a big "CD" on the calendar "curse due" so he would always have a few days warning. Of course, my cycle is bizarre in that I often ovulate MID-cycle then instantly PMS ... hence the nickname "Dangerous Curves" ... (or sometimes "Black Widow" ...
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Nance - 2006-03-15 13:43:27
Since I'm post-menopausal now, I can't relate. Please remember what PMS actually means -- it's PRE-menstrual syndrome, which is not what happens when a woman is actually menstruating -- DOH!! It's the days prior to the actual period that suck, but then again, many women have major cramping, etc. during their cycle, so it pretty much sucks all the time. If I recall, I only had 3 "good" days of the month at all when I was still young enough to experience it all.
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bubbleboy - 2006-03-15 14:00:32
Sounds like your wife isn't getting enough of the "good stuff" back at home.
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Vixen - 2006-03-15 14:15:26
Andy, you're funny! LOL.
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Jamie - 2006-03-15 14:46:56
It's a type of self-defense, UB. If we admit that we're PMSing, ya'll can get away with anything for the next week. Example: I tell my boyfriend I'm PMSing. He goes and does something stupid, like blow me off at the last minute to drink with his buddies (also "hypothetical" *seethes*). Then, when I get pissed off at him, it's suddenly because I'm PMSing.
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DivaGirl - 2006-03-15 14:59:22
Jane, I almost peed myself when I read your response. All I can say is, ROCK THE HELL ON!!!
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ang - 2006-03-15 15:05:03
Why are you even attempting to dissect and understand this? No matter how long you've been married to someone, unless you have a WORKING PAIR OF OVARIES then anything you write on the subject of PMS is total fucking supposition. Besides, sometimes I just feel like being a bitch. It scares the stupid people away.
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Meany - 2006-03-15 15:32:34
Wait, what is that, in the distance? Do you hear it? Is it ... yes, yes it IS. It's the sound of a billion stampeding feminists! Play dead, Uncle Bob, PLAY DEAD FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
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PMS Paula - 2006-03-15 15:56:57
When I'm PMSing I admit it ... sometimes it can be pretty bad and I'm completely irrational ... but I recognize that I'm being irrational, point it out to whomever I've taken it out on, and issue an apology. That being said - if I'm justifiably angry and happen to have PMS - look out, hoser.
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Spamminator - 2006-03-15 16:18:49
Just exeprimenting, UB!!! Image hosting by Photobucket
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hellassdamn - 2006-03-15 17:28:10
Instead of silly pink T-shirts, ya'll should just hand out some vicodin. That would put us in a better mood and stave off the cramps, back aches, headaches, mood swings, you name it!
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BlooEye - 2006-03-15 18:45:48
The very fact that we HAVE PMS and are highly unstable and irrational should answer the question of why we won't admit it's PMS. Geez. Ignorant man.
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PissyMaleSyndrome - 2006-03-15 19:12:13
It's funny you should say this UB, as I've tried to warn the guys I have dated, as well as the one I married, that I have PMS and may not be quite myself, might need a little TLC. Turns out, though, there are some men who DON'T BELIEVE PMS IS A REAL THING. gosh, i wonder why we think they are the most ignorant thing on the planet?! so, no, i don't try to warn my husband anymore. of course, since there are more problems in my utuerus than in the middle east, one never knows when it's coming, but he never has the sense to get the &*(&$% out of the way...btw, you should check out what richard jeni says about how a period turns a woman's body into a Soprano, if you'd like to understand how we feel. he's the only man i ever heard come close to how it feels.
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A woman - 2006-03-15 23:09:40
PMS is like post traumatic syndrome. We don't realize that is what it was until the aftermath. And in our normal state of mind, we wouldn't expect you to know that logic has just gone out the window for us. In the moment, it just feels right. It's like pepper spray, I don't use it unless I have to! :)
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Cosmic - 2006-03-16 08:26:42
Want to join the PMS Club, UB? Here are the rules for men. Rule #1, Never ask a woman if she has PMS. Rule #2, See rule #1. Rule #3, Just as in childbirth, PMS cannot ever be understood by men. Just because someone is torn apart in a tornado, it doesn't mean they understand how or why they happen. Just like women cannot ever begin to understand why a man will stand in a crowd of people and scratch his balls. Some things just are. It's nature.
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Drew - 2006-03-16 09:04:07
PMS is just an excuse to be a bitch.
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Rivetergirl - 2006-03-16 11:47:58
April 9th is my parents' anniversary. They'll have been married 40 years this year. Must be a good day to get married! Congrats! Oh and it seems after 18 years that you'd be able to figure out PMS without having to ask.
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her-story - 2006-03-16 13:16:46
The only thing *I* get when I'm PMS'g is a gigantic headache because the men living in my house are retarded. So, if we're PMS'g, what do you guys suffer from?
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her-story - 2006-03-16 13:19:40
by the way, I think if anyone's going to wear a t-shirt, it should be the man... and it should say, "I was stupid enough to ask her if she was PMG'g"
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saidnot - 2006-03-16 13:50:29
Around our house ... I say "dang, my boobs hurt." He says, "oh hell!" After which he goes into hiding for a few days. ;-)
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Larry the Cable Guy - 2006-03-16 14:04:40
Hey BOB! BOB! I gots me my own Film Movie now, YEEEEE HAWWW. Git R DONE!
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Mythots - 2006-03-16 14:53:28
I cant fathom any woman WANTING to publicly announce that they are bleeding. But, hey...whatever.
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Whinerhater - 2006-03-16 16:46:42
So, I guess Drew has a terminal case of PMS, then. UB, you know I love you, but for God's sake. Get a damn calendar, and mark the days she'll be having her period. Then mark off the four days before it starts, and make sure to just BE PREPARED on those days. It's not rocket science. Instead of T-shirts, make your billions by manufacturing calendars with stickers included that say things like "It starts TODAY!" and "Uh-oh: PMS Day 1!" and "Yay! All done!" and market it on Men's Health magazine. You will DROWN in money.
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Ernest Hemingway - 2006-03-16 18:45:29
Sure. But try to get a woman to go easy on you because you have a hangover and see how much sympathy she has for the afflicted. She won't admit she has PMS because that would make it (in her mind) her fault and no woman ever, ever admits that anything is her fault. It's because her man is an asshole. Drowned the kids in the tub? She had to do it because her husband is an asshole.
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emopirate - 2006-03-16 18:52:20
HOW DARE YOU EVEN SUGGES....ill take one of those shirts. haha kidding... it is a very brilliant idea, but i hate to say, your late... my ex got those shirts made a few weeks ago... the idea is catching on tho...maybe it will happen :O
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Squeakzilla - 2006-03-16 21:20:17
I think it would be better to sell pink glitter to all men everywhere. Whenever they encounter a potential PMS candidate, they secretly sprinkle a little glitter on her shoulder or back. When an unaware male approaches and sees the glitter, he'll be instantly warned by the markings his bretheren have previously left. The more encounters, the more glitter and the more obvious the warning.
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Ernest Hemingway is an asshole - 2006-03-17 00:44:07
Making jokes about women drowning children in bathtubs is completely deplorable. There is never any justifiable reason for that, ever, and clearly it is wrong. And although I am certain you are a very big man and can admit to being less than perfect, perhaps you should consider one of the minor differences between a hangover and PMS: one involves choice, while the other doesn't.
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who gives a rip whos an asshole?? - 2006-03-17 02:09:57
well think of it this way ladies.......its natural correct? ok then,how the HELL is it our/your fault? its natural just like a man having to have his balls drop at a young age,a man having to deal with chest hair that makes us look like monkeys,and a man having to deal with the fact that were ll fucked when you have that,so i reiterate........deal with it ladies....oh and by the way i cant mark mine... my lady has hers at different times each month,so how the hell will i ever know???!???!? much thanks for listening......have fun!(p.s. by the way,for the women out there,your pms is our blue balls.....ITS REAL!)
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Fuzzy Grey - 2006-03-17 05:10:26
It *may* be PMS, but the idea now is to wait until it is *NOT* PMS to REALLY stick it to you. Good luck, sir. You'll never win.
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K - 2006-03-17 09:07:49
Dear Who Gives a Rip - who said PMS is your fault? Plus I think your lady just hates you.
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shoshie - 2006-03-17 10:07:35
Saidnot probably has the most sane relationship of anyone here.
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spamminator - 2006-03-17 10:42:30
Without women PMS'ing, how could I have ever earned my Bloodwings? God Bless PMS!
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Meepers - 2006-03-17 16:04:59
Ha! UB, I'm totally going to read this to my husband! I think its hilarious - although I'd like my T shirt in a nice deep red. I've tried the "Ohhh...my boobs hurt (and they do) thing and it just Does. Not. Work. Three days later when I'm crying into my champagne, my brilliant husband says, "oh? is it PMS?" DUUUUH! Can't teach 'em, can't kill 'em, huh?
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Whinerhater - 2006-03-17 16:35:12
Spamminator, you rock. You can meet me and Perry's Whore anytime for a drink. Squeaky, it's a nice idea, but can you really see men carrying pink glitter? Ernest Hemingway: all healthy women have periods and most get PMS -- but a hangover? Who forced you to drink too much? Dickhead. And who the hell gives a rip? Yes.
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shann - 2006-03-17 16:40:20
u should never ask if it's pms never this is the most embarrsing thing u could ever do I would never again date a guy that did ask
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blunt man - 2006-03-18 00:33:47
I think girls bitch about their vaginas way too much. My damn cocks rotting off and you don't hear me complaining. And my cock rots off all weeks of the year dammit!
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lorrie - 2006-03-18 01:18:37
It's real, folks. And it's awful. We chicks do not enjoy it. I have to admit that during my halycon twenties and thirties I just laughed at PMS jokes, figuring they were exaggerated. Then I hit 40 and the mood swings got frightening. We hate it too, trust me. We women would love to sail throught life without any messy, uncomfortable and unhappy lady stuff. Just be nice to us, kay.
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blunt man - 2006-03-18 15:38:57
Lorrie, thank you for your kind words. I can relate to what you say. As I do not get PMS, I do have Manic Depression. It's even harder to deal with your changing moods when people are constantly pointing out that you aren't acting the way they would like. The only suggestion I have, don't get lost on the rollercoaster ride, take your map to keep you in check and strap yourself in with a partner who undetstands how crazy it can get. Crappy enough as it is, sometimes we have to make personal effort to behave and not just let it all fly because we can. Blunt Man, out.
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barnaclebill - 2006-03-18 16:56:24
Step 1: Type "moon phase watch" into any search engine and you'll get a thousand listings of watches to buy that display a 29.5 day cycle. Some even have handy alarms. Step 2: Note when a female is cranky and wait for that time to roll around every moon cycle. You don't have to ask and as far as she knows you're just checking the time of day. She never needs to know why you're either extra thoughtful or extra absent on those 3-5 days/month.
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tophermo - 2006-03-18 23:27:24
If you haven't seen the new Richard Jeni special on HBO(I actually don't know if it is new or not but anyway) he describes PMS perfectly.
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jafer - 2006-03-19 15:44:54
I think a pink t-shirt would be too obvious, no woman would want to wear it. Instead there should be something invisible to us (like maybe the hair at our crowns stands up straight whenever we're not looking into a mirror). Then the world knows, we don't have to do anything, and nobody's gonna ask if we're PMSing - which I'm surprised didn't elicit a response more like, "oh what! something bothers me so I'm automatically PMSing?! God, how typical!"
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Shaadup - 2006-03-20 09:22:19
Never trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.
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Spamminator - 2006-03-20 09:48:39
heh heh heh
Image hosting by Photobucket
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.... - 2006-03-20 10:00:07
I think UB's wife killed him, where did he go?
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shoshie - 2006-03-20 12:16:03
Last!
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Hmmmmm - 2006-03-21 09:19:09
I heard Uncle Bob got arrested....
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Mourner - 2006-03-21 09:48:51
Nah, it was in all the papers down here. Uncle Bob did a DJ gig for a sorority up north, and after he closed down a few of the sisters followed him out to the van and had their way with him. He's in the hospital recovering. The docs think they'll be able to fix his back, but nobody's been able to get the grin off his face.
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Mourner - 2006-03-21 09:51:06
Nah, it was in all the papers down here. Uncle Bob did a DJ gig for a sorority up north, and after he closed down a few of the sisters followed him out to the van and had their way with him. He's in the hospital recovering. The docs think they'll be able to fix his back, but nobody's been able to get the grin off his face. Oh, and the $75 battery for the video camera was saved, but it's been drained flat.
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Spamminator - 2006-03-21 13:30:44
Uncle Bob's been off on a modeling gig:
Image hosting by Photobucket
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pinkytusk - 2006-03-21 17:15:45
I think that show is called "it's a miracle"
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Chris - The Original Chris - 2006-03-21 18:51:48
wow....did I pick a good couple of days to go on vacation or what?! Come back to WW3! Okay, I'm a girl....and generally I don't get pms that anyone else notices....OR I've trained my boys to not talk about my pms around me (:
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Casie - 2006-03-21 22:31:10
perhaps your plan would work, but i see one fatal flaw. when pms'ing women never like ANYTHING in their closet let alone a shirt that declares said pms across the front and thus, we would never wear it.
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uncle bob for president - 2006-04-07 05:36:10
and they wonder why we've never had a woman president! God help us.
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As a lesbian couple, you can imagine what its like in our household with synchronised pms...
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