current entry older entries message board contact
4:45 a.m. - Thanksgiving Thursday

Happy Thanksgiving, my little buddy!

I was awaken at 4:30 a.m. by one hyper little boy who had already eaten and now wanted ACTION.

Whoooohooooo!!!

You say you're THREE WEEKS OLD TODAY and you want some action in the wee morning hours??

........???

... How about...we go sit in the recliner, listen to some classical music on DMX, kick back...maybe suck a pinkie or two ... maybe do something crazee...something INsane...wait...I got it!! Drew Dogg...you've GOT to give this its props...after you suck that pinkie and stop crying...maybe you can try FALLING THE HELL ASLEEEEEEEP!!

This kid is under the impression that you nurse for 45 minutes or so...then you nap for 0.5 seconds ... then it's time for your ENTERTAINMENT provided by either Mama or Papa.

Well guess what, kids??

I'm the world's WORST parent.

This morning, as Andy celebrates his third week birthday ...

....he's propped up happily two feet from the television, watching the Cartoon Network.

I was the FIRST person to always tell someone "I'm NOT going to let the television babysit my children."

Look ... I just want the little dude to fall asleep. I thought this might do it. Now he's wired like he's been guzzling black coffee by the gallons.

Wait...oh cool...I just switched the television over to the Home Shopping Network and they're selling Christmas stuff. He just stiffened up and now he's fixated on the home shopping network.

He went from being totally bezerk or being dead quiet just by changing the channel.

He's SO SMART!!!

...Either that or he just passed a little pootie.

I'd lay money down on the latter.

*************************************************

I've never liked Thanksgiving that much.

If I'm not at my parents house or if people haven't come to visit me, we usually volunteer at the Salvation Army or the Salvation Marines.

Last year, this one guy kinda hooked on to me and Susie. He was a nice guy, but he's got a lot of problems. His mental imbalance is his most noticeable one.

Now...at LEAST once a month when we're out in public, we run into him. The mall, the grocery store, the Steak n Shake ... he even showed up at a church dinner one Sunday night as a guest of someone else's.

Like I say, he's a great guy ... he does attract attention to himself because he's got some kinda bone deficiency thing that I can't remember the name of right now.

anyway ... no wait ... that was last chrisytmas not Thankdhivimg.

okay the baby is sucking my pinkie. gortta stop.

ahvea a goood one?

0 comments so far
The last one/The next one


NEW!!!Come and write some BAD EROTICA with the cool kids!

My Diaryland Trading Card
Now go write a Suck Ass Poem™
Write me a note here.
Read my notes here.
Hey! Take the Uncle Bob Quiz!
What the hell! May as well take the wildly popular Uncle Bob Second Quiz too!
Thanks Diaryland
Designed by Lisa


CURRENT - ARCHIVES - MESSAGES - EMAIL


Have you read these?

The End Of Uncle Bob - 12:28 p.m. , 2009-02-19

Losing Focus While Trying To Write A Blog Entry Is Cool. - 1:47 p.m. , 2008-12-04

Buck Up Junior, You Could Be Digging Ditches - 11:36 p.m. , 2008-10-31

That Sinking Feeling - 6:09 a.m. , 2008-10-28

Return Of The Karate Kid And His Slow Kitty-Lovin' Accomplice - 5:44 a.m. , 2008-10-22

Sign up for my Notify List and get email when I update!

email:
powered by
NotifyList.com

HEY YOU!
Click on the button below to order the book "Never Threaten To Eat Your Co-Workers: Best of Blogs" featuring Uncle Bob.
You WON'T be sorry.

DISCLAIMER


Read a random entry of mine.