IF THIS ENTRY WAS A SINK, IT'D BE EMPTY

Y'know...I rarely spend any time on the computer anymore.

I get this dog and pony show updated as often as I can ... but other than that, my nights of sitting on the computer and surfing for Russian porn are just about over.

That's sad. There's still millions of naked Russians just begging me to stare at their young, supple, Communist asses.

*sigh*

So like...hey...how ya doin?

My intern's last day was yesterday, which was sad in a way because I never got the chance to ask her if she had any naked Russian friends with websites. Actually, it was sad because she was a good intern and always went above and beyond the call of duty to better the paper.

She brought baby Andy some presents too. She got him a Baby Keepsake Box and a Tigger doll. Plus, she baked about four dozen cookies for the people in the office.

Then again...yesterday I had to give her her last evaluation which counted for 30% of her grade. So maybe she was just buttering me up and trying to score points with the big man....the head dog...the big cheese...the head honcho...the head cheese...the big dog....the man cheese...the dog head....

Sadly, she didn't even have to suck up. She was that good.

Susie and Sandy brought Andy by the office yesterday which was cool because a lot of people hadn't seen her.

My drunk assed boss got to hold him. I was going to blurt out "For the love of God...DON'T DROP HIM", but I didn't.

We've got this new salesguy at work. I guess he's been there about a month now, but I spent most of last month at home, so he's still new to me.

His name is Darryl, but I call him "Duncan Loser" because we only hold onto salespeople for a few months before they quit. Well...that's not WHY I call him that...I call him that because he looks like a Duncan Loser to me.

I have no story about the guy ... I'm just grasping for straws to talk about anything other than my baby.

Hmmmmmmmm...

You know...Andy just....

....shit....

Yesterday I was sitting watching TV when Andy....

....dammit....

Awwww...to hell with it. When my boy cries, he looks like Thom Yorke, the lead singer from Radiohead with too many letters in his name.

There. I said it. I'm not proud of it, but I said it.

Today we take the baby boy in for his one month checkup. Today he gets shots (WHEEEEEE!!) and gets a pretty thorough checkup, including a glance up the old wazoo. Something tells me he ain't gonna be too thrilled after that little excursion.

It really sucks being back at work full time after taking a large chunk of November off. I find myself with absolutely nothing to do. I'm burned out on writing stories, I'm burned out on writing in general.

THIS I can do because there's no heavy expectations from Uncle Bob. I'm not paid to do this. If I produce something boring and humorless here ... that's cool. I'll give ya yer money back if'n ya don't like it.

It's the paying gigs I'm burned out on.

I'm not really cut out to do anything else though. I could probably go into radio, but I wouldn't be making the money I'm making now, unless I took the airwaves by storm and was hired by some major market to be the next Howard Stern.

Yeah.

Right.

Oh yeah. Happy December.

We're not doing anything for Christmas this year. No gifts exchanged between Susie and I. We've had little time to shop and will have even less time this month.

We're not buying Andy anything, because ... well ... he's just not into anything. I mean...yeah...he likes shopping at the Gap and playing video games. But other than that...he's pretty much useless. And I kick his ass at video games. He's more interested in chewing on the controller than actually kicking ass.

What a passive little boy...

I got a ten dollar gift certificate from Amazon yesterday. I love getting those. I need to pick out a DVD to get now.

I'm leaning toward "Welcome To The Dollhouse" because I love that movie. There's so many little details in the film that just make me snort with laughter. Highly recommended from yer Uncle Bob, but if you had an ounce of coolness in your body, you've probably already seen it.

I need to start my physical therapy on my elbow back up. It's really beginning to ache. I cancelled all my appointments when Andy was born and now it's hurting again. Goddamned broken elbow.

Man oh man...my life has just been boring as shit lately other than the kid. Therefore, I shall end this entry here and pray something cool happens today to tell y'all about tomorrow.

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QUESTION OF THE DAY

What are some things that you should do but you don't do?