THE FINAL WORD FROM UNCLE BOB

Jesus Christ.

As much as I would like to just let this shit just drop, our little buddy Bob wants to keep stirring it back up.

So let's set the record straight on this whole UncleBobRAPE site for the absolute last time. Because all Bob's trying to do is cover his ass on this one and spreading HIS side of the story from his website to his Analyzer site to my message board.

Andrew ... you know Andrew...he's the guy that came up with the Diaryland concept and let's us all play here, took the Uncle Bob Rape site down because it "went over the line" and "violated the terms" of Diaryland.

Andrew removed the site, Bob. Not me. ANDREW.

Don't believe me Bob?? Write him and ask him. He'd LOVE to hear from you right about now.

Y'see, Bob...Rape is a VERY serious subject with not just me...but with Andrew as well. We feel that anyone making a joke of it doesn't deserve a forum in Diaryland to do so. Diaryland is about 90 percent women ... many of those ... hell...I'd say all of them...don't find rape "parody" material.

So Bob says..."at no time were the faculties of rape described, portrayed, joked about, or attached in unclebobRAPE, towards young girls or otherwise. Any reasonable person who had actually read the diary would have known this".

Notice...he conveniently leaves out "implied".

Let's see Bob...you had a picture (and I'm using "you" here because nobody else has been ignorant enough to step forward and take credit for the site as much as you) of me and my niece with my niece's eyes blacked out like it was child porn.

You had pictures of ME ... UNCLE BOB on a website entitled Uncle Bob RAPE.

RAPE, Bob. There's only one definition of the word when it's attatched to pictures of young girls, Bob.

Gee whiz, Bob...you can't get any more plain than that. I guess it could have been called Uncle Bob RAPES ... but oh no...let's avoid that lawsuit, huh??

The two entries, which you so CONVENIENTLY "dug up" and can be obtained by going to your diary do not come right out and say I raped anyone. This is true. But I feel confident that had we let it gone, they would have had to get to the meat of the subject eventually. You know it and I know it.

The two entries...and by all means people...you can read the two entries from Uncle Bob Rape at Bob's Diary didn't make a whole lot of sense. They were meant as "parody" as Bob has been so quick to remind everyone, but they're not witty ... there's nothing funny about them. They're just stories of me A)meeting a young girl online and getting all excited and B) meeting a young girl at McDonalds and getting all excited.

Of course...Bobhas "dug up" a completely different second entry (the 9/29 entry)that was never a part of the original Uncle Bob Rape site that tears me and the Army down, talking about how unfunny I am and how my friends are just a buncha idiots who do what I say when he fails to mention his insane jealousy that I'm listed on more Analyzer entries under "Favorite Diaries" than he is rather than the ORIGINAL entry that had me getting all excited over the chat lines. (Did you notice the "FAILED THE MARIO TEST on your Analyzer page yesterday? Do you have me listed as one of your favorites? Hmmmm...interesting....)It's kinda funny how Bob "dug that entry" out of his cache files, yet it's NOT the original entry. Way to clean up those tracks, Bob. . You're one ace detective, bud.

"I put an extra chicken mcnugget in her happy meal...I hope she notices," was the big "ha-ha funny" punchline in the first entry ...the one that wasn't manipulated after the site was torn down.

I'm the editor of a well-received newspaper,Bob. I don't work at McDonalds. What do YOU do for a living??

If Bob thinks they're parody, Bob needs to go back to "Parody 101".

I don't remember much about the site because it made me sick to my stomach to see a picture of my niece being exploited on a site that insinuated I was a rapist. But I remember the address window was called "Muffled Screams" the phrases "Get In, I'm A Friend Of Your Mothers" and "You Sure Are A Great Writer...Cute Too" were in there.

That's disturbing in my book.

And on the UncleBobRAPE Analyzer site ... my favorite music is "Kids songs", my favorite movie is "The Baby Sitters Club" and there's a picture of Marv Albert's mug shot included?

That's implication, Bobby Boy .

It all boils down to jealousy. A large number of women like my diary.

Is that REALLY a reason to try and destroy me, like the messages on my Message Board that I deleted said?

Oh yeah...I deleted messages from my message board from the UncleBobRAPE team. They weren't there to "tell their side of the story" as you've said. One said that they were out to "destroy" me. The others were just mindless bullshit asking if I was embarrassed. I deleted them because it's MY message board and frankly, I wasn't about to give you any more publicity than you were already getting. Everything posted since the website was taken down BY ANDREW on the message board by you and the "Uncle Bob Rape Team" have been left up since it no longer promotes your vulgar site.

And let's face it...more people visit my message board in one day than visited that site in its entire conception. Many people use the message board as a promotional tool for their website.

But I'm not going to help promote a website that implies I'm a rapist that includes a picture of me and my four-year-old niece. Would you help promote a diary called "Beefy Bob's Gay" with pictures of you there getting plugged up the ass by Richard Simmons?

Doubtful.

And there's people out there wondering "Well gee, Uncle Bob...what's the big deal??"

Obviously, these people have never been affected by the repercussions of rape. To me, it is the sickest, most disturbing, most vile of crimes out there. I don't even wish it on the person behind this horrendous site.

It's a very personal subject with me. And I don't want my name, my character or my likeness associated with it.

On the other hand ... Bob thinks it's great subject matter for a parody.

Here's a little game for you, Bob. . Walk up to any woman and ask her if she finds rape to be as funny as you do. Start with Mom. Start collecting various answers. You may be right. You may be surrounded by women that find rape one great big hoot. I bet Mom will just laugh and laugh over how funny rape is.

So yesterday ... BEFORE I found out that Bob's "friend" was behind this defamation of my character, I emailed Bob and asked him nicely to drop me from the Analyzer site.

To me ... all this shit started at the Analyzer site. And quite frankly, I got along quite nicely before the Analyzer site and will continue to do so afterwards.

Then this morning, I check my message board and there's ol' Bob ... tootin' the Uncle Bob Rape horn.

I go to his site and see HIS side of the story.

And I want to retch.

Bob...flat out...let's call a spade a spade here...if Pixiekins hadn't emailed me and asked me to help you get your Analyzer site off the ground by promoting it on my site...it wouldn't have three quarters of the people involved that it does now.

I not only mentioned the Analyzer site in my diary for several days, but I praised it as well as you for coming up for the idea.

Repeatedly.

And this is the thanks I get for helping you out?? Hell...I got an email from an anonymous source that told me that the reason you had to switch servers for your Analyzer is because MY PROMOTION of the Analyzer generated too many hits for your previous server to handle and shut it down.

And THIS is the thanks I get.

So actually...yeah...I'm GLAD I'm no longer associated with your Analyzer site. I refuse to help anyone out who thinks rape is a joke.

I'm not going to encourage my friends to drop out of the Analyzer site. I understand it's a very helpful tool to help promote everyone's diary.

But I don't need it THAT bad. If the promotion of my diary is coming from a guy who's sees nothing wrong with slapping up pictures of people on a site that implies that they're rapists... screw it and screw you Bob.

"But what about Freedom of Speech, Uncle Bob?? Shouldn't everyone be entitled to say what they want on the Internet and imply that people they're jealous of are raping their nieces??"

Take it up with Andrew, people. Diaryland is HIS site. Not mine. Not Bob's.

I'm sorry to those of you who are sick of hearing about this shit. I swore to myself I was just going to ignore it and try to go on with life.

But after reading Bob's defense of the site and having him trying to gain support for his point of view that there's nothing wrong with a sight that implies I'm a rapist...well ...I guess I felt a rebuttal was needed.

I'm sure that Bob will have his own little rebuttal later today.

...But frankly...I'm through with ALL of this shit.

QUESTION OF THE DAY

Do you think rape is funny and should be used as parody fodder against innocent people?