FREAKS, GEEKS AND CREEPS

Hola!!

That's Mexican for "Hole!!"

...I think anyway...

Yesterday, Mattie Gee and I played a game that I brought out of the closet and I was curious to see if any of you ever play it as well.

Granted...I made the game up years ago in my head, but I get the feeling I'm not the only one claiming intellectual property on this she-bang.

Okay ... you're sitting at a red light at an intersection. The cars start going past you as you wait for the light to turn green.

Every car that passes you, you have to decide if you would screw the person in the car.

I call it "Yes...No".

I used to call it "Fuck 'em??" As in "Would I fuck 'em?"

If you see someone you'd sleep with, you say "Yes". If you wouldn't sleep with them, you'd say "No".

Simple rules, eh?

It's a fun way to pass the time while driving and it sure beats paying attention to traffic lights.

Anyway...Mattie Gee and I would screw the exact same people.

How eerie.

It's a good way to gauge your city's citizens fuckability. Years ago, I'd find about two out of twenty that I'd subconsciously nail.

Now it's up to about five out of 20.

Either I'm getting more desperate or we've had some decent looking women move to town.

If you've never played it, give it a try today. The next red light that you're sitting at and watching people go by...rank their asses in order of fuckableness.

In a nutshell, it's the home version of Am I Hot Or Not.

And I came up with it.

Once again ... go me.

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Watched "The Mole" last night.

I was hesitant to check it out, because I hate getting involved with new shows. I guess because it's just one more thing that I have to fit into my overloaded schedule.

Oh ... who the hell am I kidding?? I'm sitting and watching "The Mole". Just how overcrowded IS my schedule anyway??

Actually, it was a pretty cool show. In case you've been chillin' under a rock lately, the premise is simple. Ten people are working as a team to complete various tasks around the globe. One of the ten is a "mole", a spy who is there to kinda screw things up.

The overall mission is to figure out which of the ten is The Mole.

I dunno. I liked it. I guess you had to be there.

Also watched "Freaks and Geeks" last night. Y'know...that was a great show. I can't believe it ever got cancelled but people never really caught on to the show.

I graduated high school in 1980, and the show takes place in 1980, so I can relate to it moreso than ....ohhh....let's sayyyy....YOU.

But damn...that was a great show. It's on the Fox Family channel Tuesday nights ... check it out sometime if you haven't already.

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Speaking of geeks ... I got my "Welcome To The Dollhouse" DVD yesterday from Amazon.

Jeez Louise...that is one great movie.

Once again ... I relate to the whole concept of being a geek in your school.

Because...and hold on to your hats here, kids .... but your Uncle Bob was kinda a geek in high school.

Yep.

What a revelation ... right??

Now...I wasn't the biggest geek in school by any means.

In fact, if you were to ask around, I doubt anyone would have said "Yeah...that Uncle Bob...whatta geek."

I just kinda ... I dunno ... blended in with the wallpaper.

My whole deal was ... I was a sensitive songwriter. I'd sit in study hall and fire off page after page of "lyrics" for songs and just hand them out to my female friends who all insisted that I would someday be a huge songwriter.

Well...I'm not a songwriter.

... But I AM huge!!

BA-DA-BUM!!

I didn't get picked on in high school at all. I was tall, around 200 lbs. and kinda kept to myself a lot.

Junior High was a different story altogether. My family moved around a lot and there were times that we'd only be living in an area for three months or so, so I wouldn't bother making friends.

This came across as strange to the other kids. Rather than go out of my way to become accepted, I went out of my way to stay to myself.

Or...in some cases, I just made friends with the geekiest kids in school and hung out with them because they needed all the emotional support that a new kid could provide them.

My life was never as rough as the Wiener Dog's life in "Welcome To The Dollhouse".

But I CAN relate to her plight.

Which is why I enjoy the movie.

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Have you heard about these cops that were pulling over women and making them strip naked to get out of receiving a ticket??

Man!

Is that cool or what??

I've decided to start doing the same thing.

IF you are a woman and you're in my Army, I'm about to throw you out on your ass.

Yep. You're gone, sister.

History.

Vamoose.

Scoot.

Oh...welll....there is ONE way you can save your ranking in the Army.

Send me a nekkid pic of you pulling your shirt up over your head.

Do that, and you can stay.

Don't do that and you're out on your ass.

Vamoose.

Scoot.

Etc.

Pretty threatening, eh?

You're pretty scared, huh? Don't wanna be kicked out of the army, eh?

Well...babe...you control your own destiny here.

Give up the hooters and all will be forgiven.

Wow.

Is it obvious that I haven't been laid in a while?

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QUESTION OF THE DAY

What is your most memorable "geeky" moment?