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5:37 a.m. - 2001-04-25

IT'S THE FLU...IT'S GOTTA BE THE FLU...

Ugh.

I feel really, really weird.

It's probably just a cold. That's what I keep telling myself.

But colds don't make you topple over when you stand up. Colds don't make you not want to eat. Colds don't make you stand outside your neighbor's bedroom window and play with yourself even though you're not the least bit attracted to her.

I'm sick, I'm tellin' ya.

I went to bed last night at 8:00 because I was FREEZING as I sat in my recliner. I had a big velour blanket wrapped up around my like a giant cocoon and I was STILL shivering.

So I took my night-time Contac and went and passed out.

I actually feel better this morning. I still feel "ugh". But it's a big improvement over last night.

Wanna know how sick I was yesterday?

I didn't eat lunch.

Yep. When it came time to order in Chinese ... Uncle Bob passed.

I think that's when everyone in the office knew...this guy is sick. He NEVER passes on Chinese.

They wanted to rush me to the emergency room but I stood firmly (well...wobbly) and said "Neigh! For I shall stay and finish this newspaper so that the masses will be able to read the finest in community news!"

Well...I didn't say that. I said "Fuck, I feel like shit. How much does it cost to get your stomach pumped?"

Anyway...yesterday...bad day. Bad long day. Bad, bad long day. Bad, bad, long, long day.

Y'see? That's my idea of humor this morning.

I'm in sad shape.


Welllll...when Susie went to pick Andy up from Daycare yesterday, she had a surprise waiting for her.

A big assed red welt right near his eye.

As it turns out, a little girl named Angel (HA!) decided she wanted to kiss on Andy. I don't blame her...he's one fine looking kid.

When Miss Robin, Andy's daycare provider told Angel not to kiss Andy, Angel proceeded to take a bite out of Andy instead.

CHOMP!

Apparently, Andy screamed like a woman giving birth in a taxi cab. His day abruptly went downhill from there.

I was a little pissed when I came home to that red mark on my kid's face. Granted, kids will be kids. But Angel is two...Andy's not even six months old yet. Shouldn't the two year old be playing with the other two-year olds and Andy be off limits to her?

No wonder he keeps coming home with colds and passing them on to Daddy. The other kids are sucking his face dry.


I'm supposed to go interview some author in town today who's written a book about ghosts who haunt all these southern mansions.

I'm not gonna do it.

A) They called me two months ago to arrange the interview and I haven't heard from them since, even though I told them to "remind me".

B) I'm sick as a Englishman in a beef-eating contest.

C) If I DO muster up the energy to do anything today, I'm going to go try to scrounge up some door prizes for my golf tournament tomorrow.

Wait a second...I doubt there's even one single door on the golf course. Which means...no DOOR prizes.

Whew!

Looks like I'm staying in t-shirt and boxers all day!!


It is my turn to take Andy to day care today.

Susie asked me last night. As I stood there, weaving in the doorway, half asleep, feverish, coughing, sputtering...

"Are you taking him to daycare tomorrow?"

Gadzooks. I was about to hurl all over the carpet and she wanted to make sure she could get those extra 15 minutes of sleep this morning.

I almost went off on her, telling her how bad I felt and that I have no business even being in the same house as the baby because I was SICK dammit.

Except...

Well...

She's pretty sick too.

Not as bad as me, naturally.

Or at least she's not whining as much as me.

But she's got a hacking cough.


I talked to my sister the other night. She told me something interesting.

You know this actress, Marcia Gay Harden? She won best supporting actress for "Pollock" at the Oscars?

Well apparently, we went to school with the girl in Greece. She was a few years older than me and I don't remember her at all. But my sister dated her younger brother (Mark) for about a year and was best friends with her younger sister (Stephanie).

My sister said she barely remembers her and that she was always too busy to talk to the younger kids.

Matt? Mitch? Do you guys remember her?

(Matt and Mitch are two of my old buddies from Greece who have apparently found this site)


I'm getting dizzy sitting here, so I'm going to go lay down for a while.

Take care. Send me mental chicken soup to make me all better.

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