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05:13:29 - 2000-03-09

THE MOST FAMOUS PERSON I'VE EVER MADE OUT WITH

Okay ... first off...no last names. I don't need this 15-year-old makeout session coming back to haunt this woman.

But I once made out with Sharon Stone.

Awright....not reeeally.....

The most famous girl I ever made out with is pretty big around these parts. She's a radio deejay for the biggest station in town and has been for years. She does commercials for television a lot, and was on CNN a few years ago as a reporter.

Her name is Julie.

Julie is/was a tall, GORGEOUS blonde. She worked at Turtle's Records at the time, a job that I had left a month earlier to go work as a bouncer. I was still friends with all the employees, and that's how Julie and I met.

Now...even though Julie was gorgeous ... I had the hots for Amy even more.

Someday, Amy will get her own entry here. To make a long story short, I had a mad crush on Amy but couldn't admit it to her, so we just stayed "best friends".

Amy's other "best friend" was Julie, so for an entire summer, the three of us kinda hung out together.

One afternoon, Amy and Julie pulled up at my parent's house and asked me to go riding with them.

I NEVER turned down the opportunity to hang out with these two babes, so I jumped in the car with them.

There was another guy in the car. A strange looking guy.

"This is Mike," Amy said (I don't remember the guy's real name...sorry) "We just picked him up on the road."

"A hitchiker," I asked.

"Yeah," Mike said. "They picked me up. Thanks y'all."

Alright...every hitchhiker's dream until I came on board. Two beautiful blonde 21 year-olds pick you up in their t-shirts and shorts and ask you where you want to go.

Ohhhhh....and look....they have booze and pot too....whooohoooo...you lucky fuckin' hitchiking sonofabitch, you. God sho' does looooove the hitchhikers!

As it turns out...Amy was driving and was PRETTY wasted already when she saw this guy on the side of the road and decided to pick him up.

Julie, the more level-headed of the two, which wasn't saying much, didn't have a good feeling about partying with a hitchhiker, so SHE was the one who suggested they pick me up to act as their security.

Oh fucking great. I'm brought on board strictly as a bodyguard for the two lil' drunk girls who aren't capable of using common sense right now.

"Hey Uncle Bob ... we're trashed and are going to go flirt with death. You wanna come along and make sure we don't die??"

"Sure, girls. Can we drive by my friend's house real slowly and honk the horn first??"

I'm ushered into the back seat of the car with Julie, while Mike, this UNWASHED HITCHIKER sat up front with my girl,the girl I had become "friends" with, with full intent on taking it to another level within a certain time frame (ten years)... Amy.

And Amy was SCARY DRUNK. Screaming, fighting drunk. At 4 in the afternoon.

We drove around for hours before we stopped at some electric plant. Amy decided now was the time for her and Mike to go behind a large transformer and "make out".

So their asses get out of the car, tell Julie and I that they'll be back in a "minute" and go running over in seclusion.

I was more or less crushed.

The girl that I had wanted for almost a year was making out with a total stranger 50 yards away. There's no telling WHAT went on behind that transformer.

BUT ... I was still alone with a beautiful drunken blonde on my side.

"Wow," I remember her saying. "Now what?"

Now what??

Fuck EVERYONE.

I leaned over and planted a big one on Julie, who welcomed it with open arms. We made out quite heavily for a while ...erotic petting...furious fumbling, deep inhaling through the nostrils kinda make-out.

Then came the tap at the window.

"Look at you horndogs," Amy said with a grin.

I was embarrassed but in a way it was my "IN YOUR FACE" gesture to Amy. I had been waiting close for a year for our platonic friendship to go to a new level and she does THIS to me??

Well I showed her....

Julie and I stayed friends. The make-out session was pretty much forgotten about and written off as drunken fun between two friends who both happened to have a pair of lips on them. I went back to lusting after Amy, even though she picked up strangers on the side of the road and (my theory only) blew them in the weeds behind a transformer.

What can I say? She had beautiful eyes.

Julie, as I said earlier, has done well for herself in the public eye. She's accumulated a huge fan base over the years, and the people in our city love her. She's happily married with two boys and is one of my few friends in radio who is NOT scum. Then again...we were friends long before she got in radio.

She's the one who always gets to go out on stage and introduce big bands to the audience because she's still the best looking female in local radio today. Sh does a number of local commercials, and whenever she shows up on TV, I HAVE to remind my wife "Yep...I made out with her."

My wife just sighs ... knowing it was a fluke make-out. I've never bothered to ask, but my wife is so nonchalant about the whole affair, something tells me she knows about the fluke make-out all too well...

I see Julie about once a year and we always get caught up on each other's lives. A few years ago, I interviewed her for a profile that I was writing about her and her career. We talked about old times and stuff and talked about that day that we made out briefly.

"Wouldn't it be wild if your readers and my listeners ever found out that we did that?" she asked, meaning the wild partying that we used to do moreso than the makeout thing.

I told her I didn't know, but I doubted it.

I mean...after all ... do you find it wild that I made out with Julie, the queen of local radio and commercials?

See, Jules?? No big deal in Diaryland.

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