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08:21:46 - 2000-03-04

SATURDAY MORNING NEWS BRIEFS ... SPONSORED BY KELLOGGS

Yowsa.

I just updated my phat, fresh bioat my other site. No new photos ... but hell...there's a photo page on that site anyway.

Wow...my hits reached an all time high yesterday...something like 180. Somebody musta linked my ass on one of those popular diaries. Whoever it was, thanks a heap. Being an admitted hit whore, it made my balls a deep rose tint to get that many.

Keep in mind...I KNOW that's not 180 people coming through here. It's probably just one of y'all messin' with me.

If it is ... stop it. It's not funny. You're just getting some poor sap's hopes up.

You're so cruel.

Shame on you.

You rat bastard.

Awwwww...I can't be mad at you. C'mere. Give yer ol' Uncle Bob a hug.

(Uncle Bob grabs you and puts you in a tight headlock)

...You stupid little shit....don't you EVER do that crap again...you hear me...??

(Uncle Bob lets go slowly and gives you "The Glare")

Anyway.

I updated like Matt Drudge yesterday ... a whopping three entries with one actually being decent.

Hey...speakin' of which ... I'm no HTML genius ... I can cut and paste the crap though. Can ANYONE share with me the HTML for that little "Five Latest Entries" deal that so many of you guys have, so y'all don't have to scatter like crows every time you wanna see if I've updated more than once lately??

If you could e-mail me the HTML at bobzilla99@hotmail.com, I will give you a special plug in my diary.

I may even send you a naked picture.

It wouldn't be me of course. I'm a prude with fat thighs.

But still...I'll link ya and everything if you send me the code and IT WORKS FOR ME.

Did I mention I got 180 hits yesterday.

So...you know...that could be you, dude.

Or dudette.

Heh...who am I kidding?? For most of y'all, I bet that'd be a step down.

I've gotta say...I am truly impressed with a LOT of diaries out there. I'd love to plug 'em all right here, but there's just so damned many.

One thing I can tell ya...go to my people page and check out the diaries of those that have signed that bad boy. Because THEY'RE the ones whose diaries rock, little buddy. Click on any of their diaries for buttloads of fun.

This little buckfucket is worth a giggle or two a week, MAX.

I don't have much planned for the day. I wanna go by Sam's to eat free samples of food all day. I like taking my cart and using it as a battering ram to get to the free sample ladies, where I can slurp Dixie cups full of gumbo until I puke.

Those ladies hate me too. They call me "Free Sample Hog Guy".

I'm sure they do. I've never actually heard the phrase uttered...but you know how you get those premonitions??

Susie wants to watch Game Show Network all day. She's a freak for that shit. I can watch an hour or so...but c'mon....black and white episodes of Password from 1960??

No thanks hon. I think I'll just go outside naked and roll around in a mound of ticks.

Then she's going to the Ballet tonight with a friend. I'm debating on what I wanna do. Mattie Gee just got his hair cut so that he looks like one of the Backstreet Boys, so he wants to go out and see if anyone notices.

So I may go out and have a few brews. But I doubt it.

Anyway...have a good day. I'm sure I'll be back with another entry later ... lucky me...I've had a BURST of creative energy lately.

Too bad I just can't convey that creativity in writing...

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you loved me, you'd leave me A MESSAGE .

If you want to read my diary from 1980 when UNCLE BOB was 18 and pitiful , CLICK HERE

Review this piece o' shit.

This Diaryland Ring of Wackos site is owned by

that lady that played Flo on "Alice"..


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