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17:44:41 - 2000-04-06
Hello females. Have you ever wondered what it must be like to share an evening of passion with Uncle Bob? Wait no more... Introducing ... the contest to end all Diaryland contests .... That's right. Ladies ... you now have the chance to win three scintillating evenings alone with the name dropper...the show stopper... the all night long bopper.... UNCLE BOB! You're sitting there shaking right now, aren't you? Begging for more info ... are ya?? Here's the rules. Send me a message on my message board in 25 words or less why you think YOU should have the ever-so-sec-sayy Uncle Bob deflower you like a blind florist. The winner of the contest will have their cherry popped and handed to them on a silver platter ... once I get done huffing, puffing , perspiring and taking the Lord's name in vain from atop of you. A silver platter with a popped cherry on top. Isn't that how you always imagined it? So start working on those essays. Remember ...25 words or less. Good luck!! Uncle Bob Inc. can guarantee that NO sexually transmitted diseases will be transferred from his end and as long as you're really a virgin and not a virgin wannabe ... but can NOT guarantee you will NOT walk away from the rendesvouz knocked up. Uncle Bob's baby batter is some strong and potent stuff. It has been used as makeshift cement in the construction of grass huts in South Africa. Strong, I'm telling you ...strong. In the event word gets out that the winner and Uncle Bob did the nasty, Uncle Bob, Inc. reserves the right to not only deny the whole affair, but call the winner a "dirty little nympho" who has trouble saying no to humans as well as most barnyard animals. Women who are not technically virgins may still apply, but ... let's face it ... the virgin's get first dibs on the Bobber of Love. However ... if a non-virgin is able to get Lil' Uncle Bob stirring in 25 words or less ... we may be able to strike up a deal and leave the virgins panting. If Uncle Bob's wife finds out and calls the winner to threaten her with death, the winner agrees not to panic and to deny everything. The winner agrees to get a little sun or tanning bed action before she loses her virginity to Uncle Bob. She must also have blonde hair. If the winner is not blond, a blond wig will be provided. Brunettes are okay ... but c'mon...a blond virgin? They just don't come along very often and I'm going to have to brag about SOMETHING here... Did I mention the winner's gotta pay for everything? Just making sure...
The last one/The next one
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