LUMP O' COAL, SIR?

Y'know...I just remembered something ... I have a whole other website that I have completely forgotten about.

I've just been so busy with other things, I haven't updated the other site in a month.

Therefore...I'm officially declaring the other website...CULLLLOSED!!!!

Whew!!

I'm glad I got that off my conscience.

I know there's a VERY SLIGHT FEW of you who still like the other site and get whatever kicks you can from it.

But God almighty...it's gotten to be a boring site, and to be honest ... I don't have the time for that site and it just doesn't garner enough interest for me to keep it going from me OR you guys.

Anyway ... don't even bother clicking on the above link. Let's just let the site die a quiet death.

Thank you.

No really. Thanks.

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My boy Mattie Gee had himself a little problem these last couple of days.

Seems Mattie's been having a little trouble on the ol' penis front.

More specifically ... a kidney stone.

I asked him what it felt like and he said it felt like pissing bloody lumps of coal.

...And you people think I'M gross???

We were talking last night, and he thinks I should have some kinda contest here where the winner got Mattie's kidney stones that he's already passed.

(We were just going to get some pebbles and put 'em in an envelope and send them off to whoever won. WE thought it'd be funny anyway.)

Sadly ... there will not be a "Win Mattie Gee's Kidney Stones" contest held here. I just ruined the joke and it would be too much work for only one person to get the punchline anyway.

Y'know?

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Hey ... I know I have some "Thank You" notes to be written here to some of you people. You know who you are.

But I'm stumped as to who one of you are.

Susie and I have been receiving A LOT of gifts from family and friends, both real-life and internet.

The first gift we received from someone over the Internet, (the lovely Pipstah ), Susie was highly impressed.

"So you know people that send you gifts solely from that crap you write on the Internet," she asked.

"Well ... yeah if you wanna put it that way," I replied.

"What if you get a gift from somebody whose name you don't recognize?"

I gulped.

I mean ... I think I would know most everybody here by their Diaryland name or Internet name, be it email, AIM nick...whatever.

But when we are dealing with real names around Diaryland ... I draw a blank.

I mean...I would know who it was if it came from a Jaki or (I would link her but it's password protected ... if she wants you to read her, you already know the password) Becca, because those have become synonamous with their nicknames in my book. I hear Sarah Anne, I think Bluekitten

But Colleen from New York?? I'm sorry sweetie ... but I'm drawing a blank here.

Email me and chastise me. I know this will be way embarrassing when you tell me who you are and I'll slap myself in the forehead and say "Ahhhhh....dirtydrunkpartyslutgirl.... I shoulda known it was you".

You're still getting a Thank You card.

As are ... these two .

...I've just gotta find the ten minutes it will take to write them.

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And on a personal note... Plummer ... nobody's ever ready for THIS. All the running around and worrying about money and worrying about security and worrying about everything, everyone that gets pregnant goes through it at one point or another. But I envy you so much because you stumbled across something that I tried 12 years to get ... My impending bundle of joy and poop.

Everything will take care of itself. Uncle Bob promises.

A lot of you mommies need to help my Plummer out. Email her and let her know what motherhood's all about and how you got through it.

That's you mommies assignment for the day.

In less than a month, I'll be chiming in with ya.

For now, all I can say is

Have faith kiddo.

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QUESTION OF THE DAY

ARMY DAY: If you have an interesting question ... leave it on the message board. Let's get ten good questions to ask up there and everyone take turns answering them. Yeah. And then let's make goldfish and kittens mandatory in every household. So...today ... you guys ask the questions...you answer the questions ... I need a freakin' break over here...