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4:35 a.m. - 2000-11-13

POINT THE PEE-PEE DOWN FOR BEST RESULTS

I've got two songs running through my head this morning...Janet Jackson's "Nasty" and Ian Hunter's "Cleveland Rocks".

These mean nothing to you or even to me. I just felt the need to mention them. Now I feel stupid, foolish and slightly used.

Hey ... there's new pics of Andrewup and waiting for your perusal...INCLUDING a rare photo of yer Uncle Bob holding his son.

...I've gotta warn ya though...the camera adds like 184 pounds to me in these pictures.

Actually this pic has given me the strength to shed these sympathy pounds quickly. M'God...Susie's already almost back to her original figure while I look like I'd be more comfortable in a Goodyear t-shirt.

I'm fat, I'm 'a tellin' ya.

Anyway ... check them out ... for those that don't want to sit through the old 42 photos...click at the top of the page where it says "Album Cover" and drag down to the pics 43-50. Those are the new ones taken this weekend.

Alrighty then...

Went to church yesterday, our first family outing outside the hospital.

Everyone cooed and cawed over Andy just like I knew they would. The worship leader announced that we had a new member in the church and I leapt to my feet and waved Andy around the room.

Unfortunately, he was talking about someone who joined the church last week and I had jumped the gun a bit early. Boy...was my face a deep shade of maroon!

Then the worship leader went ahead and announced that Andy was in the house and he got a round of applause. I beamed with pride and said "That's for you, Andrew."

Andy kept sleeping through the applause, never waking once throughout the service. That impressed everyone there.

One thing ... man oh man...every time somebody coughed, I bristled...and they were doing a LOT of coughing. I never really took into consideration how much people cough until I had a kid successible to germs. People cough a LOT.

After church, Susie felt extra perky so we decided to go nuts and take Andrew on his first grocery store outing.

We pulled up in the parking lot and as I went to pull his car seat/carrier out, Susie did too. Somehow, one of us got the car seat accidently locked into position and it wouldn't budge.

So I'm pulling desperately on the seat, trying to free it from its metal jaws to no avail.

I didn't want to pull too hard and watch my baby's head slam into the seat when I finally freed it. So instead, we cancelled the grocery store trip and drove home where I got the car seat fixed.

I then spent most of the afternoon holding and rocking Andy while Mama slept.

Then about 5:00 there was a knock at the front door.

Oh God.

Irritating neighbor.

"I haven't had a chance to hold the baby yet," she announced, like it was an American right to hold my baby.

"Come on in," I said. "I was just leaving."

So I went to the store while she came in and made my baby's life a living hell.

I came back and she was leaving as I pulled up.

"I burped the baby!" she said, all excited like she had just discovered a cure for AIDS.

"Wonderful," I said. "I'm glad it came out his mouth for you."

She slithered back over to her house as I went in.

"How'd that visit go," I asked while putting up groceries.

"She said we need to buy him some clothes that will fit him," Susie said.

Okay...in a very small sense, that burned my ass. This woman never has anything positive to say about anything and to tell US that we need to buy clothes that will fit him...hey lady ... YOU buy him some clothes that will fit.

All his clothes are too big right now. We have a closet and dresser full of clothes, but he's a little baby. So he will GROW INTO these clothes as time goes on.

I see no sense in going out and spending $150 on clothes that he won't be able to wear in a month. So he wears sleepers with extra long arms. Big whoop.

I told Susie that I came THISCLOSE at church to asking the congregation to pray that our neighbor suddenly died.

Even Susie snickered at that.

We had a chicken and rice casserole for dinner last night that someone had given us. I'm about sick of eating other people's food for dinner now. I've got steaks in the freezer. I think tonight will be Ribeye night.

I was woken up from a dream at 4 a.m. this morning by the piercing sounds of a hungry Andy.

The dream??

That we were expecting twins.

It was pretty realistic except Susie said (in the dream) "Well, we've been having sex so much since the baby was born ... that's how I got pregnant again."

Ahem.

I'm giving her time to heal, thankyouverymuch.

I was kinda excited about the twins in my dream (a boy and girl) and we had decided to name them Tanner and Taylor in the dream.

We used to want twins, way back when we used to dream of having kids. We always wanted two children and thought twins would be the best way to do it.

Now, after having Andy, we can't IMAGINE having twins. This guy's a big enough handful.

Oh ... I learned another baby trick yesterday at church. Andy had been mysteriously soaking his body every time he peed his diaper. His back would be wet. We couldn't figure out how this was happening and mentioned it to a woman at church.

Her solution? Point his pee-pee down when you diaper him.

Ahhhhhhhh....gotcha.

So yesterday, I touched his pee-pee with my bare hands for the first time.

He got a little baby erection when I did it.

That made me somewhat uncomfortable.

But...I guess that means he likes me. So it's not so bad.

*****************************************

QUESTION OF THE DAY

Would you be willing to pay $10/month for Napster services?

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