THE ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF SHAME COMES TO TOWN

Hello darlin'.

Nice to see you.

It's BEEN A LONG TIIIIIIIIIME......

...sorry...my sister used to work for Conway Twitty, so I've heard the song "Hello Darlin'" about twenty kabillion times.

Maybe twenty kabillion and seven. I lose track at twenty kabillion.

Sooo...long day for your Uncle Bob. Trust me...if you only get one entry from me in any 18 hour period...it's a long day, Pablo honey.

Hey ... I found out some of the acts that are coming to our big music fest that I asked y'all's help on.

And guess what?? A couple of bands actually made it that we suggested!!

Uh huh!! It's true! It's true!

One of the cheesiest rock bands in the history of rock and roll will be making their debut in my fine city .... Loverboy.

Everybody sing along with me...

"EVERYBODY'S WORKIN' FOR THE WEEKEND! EVERYBODY WANTS A NEW ROMANCE"

(Bob closes his eyes, bends his knees slightly and snaps his fingers with absolutely no rhythm whatsoever as he croons Loverboy tunes off-key).

"LOVIN' EVERY MINUTE OF IT! AH OW! LOVIN' EVERY MINUTE OF IT! C'MON!!!"

"THE KID IS HOT TONITE! WHOOOAHOOOA ... SO HOT TONIGHT!!"

Ironically...Loverboy is opening up for Joan Jett (go ahead and drool Action_Grrl ... yer Uncle Bob will be backstage at that one.

Oh yeah...irony...ummm...I saw Loverboy open for Joan Jett in 1981. Now, almost 20 years later, I see the same show again.

I saw Loverboy on VH1's "Where Are They Now". That Mike Reno...that dude got one big ass now.

Ummmmm....the Beach Boys are coming.

La De Dah.

I saw them a few years ago and they're nothing more than an animated jukebox. Mike Love prances around like Richard Simmons in a San Francisco bath house and is embarrassing to watch.

So I will be at another stage while the Beach Boys are playing.

I'll be at the R&B stage ... where all the cool acts are anyway.

And I'll be droppin DA BOMB.

I want the BOMMMMB...I WANT THE P-FUNK....I WANT MY FUNK UNCUT.....

BOW WOW WOW YIPPEE YO YIPPEE YAY BOW WOW YIPPEE YO YIPPEE YAY!!!

Yep...Uncle Bob is gonna be tearing the roof off the sucka old school style with George Clinton and Parliament-Funkadelic.

My God kids... yer ol' Uncle Bobby has been waiting for this concert since 1977.

I never thought I'd live to see George Clinton ride the Mothership Connection on stage.

It will be DA BOMB!!!

David Sanborn is coming if you're into jazz. I like it, but hey...David Sanborn or Parliament??

Hehehehe...fuck you Dave. I'm gonna be in Chocolate City.

Shit, I'm excited. I sound like Kelly rhapsodizing over the Backstreet Boys.

But hey...Kelly waited a year...I've waited 23 freakin' years.

I'm owed one night of funk, m'dear.

ANDDDD ...we got Toni Braxton's little sister. I think her name is Teron or something.

I guess it's better than LaToya Live.

...Go ask your mom if you don't get it ...

Anyway...I have to be at the Press Conference tomorrow morning at 8:30 a.m.

My day off.

But ... if I go to the press conference and smooch a little booty ... I get the inside track on meeting and interviewing the stars.

Or "stars" I guess I should say. Many of these people haven't been stars since Rosie O' Donnell saw 150 on her scale.

With that said...I need some sleep. 18-hour days do that to me.

I will probably wait and update this later on in the am rather than my usual 7 am dealio.

Then again...you may have a new entry in eight hours.

Y'know...I really have no idea when you'll see me again.

My guess is ....tonight's dreams ...

Heh.

I am definitely my own biggest fan.