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08:05:29 - 2000-03-17

HAPPY SAINT PADDY'S DAY YA DRUNKEN BASTAHD!!

My wife just came up to me while I was working and pinched me because I wasn't wearing green. I screamed bloody murder just to let her know I don't like to be disturbed when I'm working.

I never wear green on St. Patrick's Day. In fact, when people point out that I'm not wearing green, I lift my shirt and instruct them to pinch my nipples hard. If they don't...I do it myself just to watch their shocked expressions as I stimulate myself for several minutes in awkward silence.

In fact, it's quite an ice breaker in bars on Saint Patrick's Day. I can't think of anyone who does not enjoy getting drunk and watching the guy at the end of the bar pinch his own nipples, strictly to impress his mug of green beer.

Another little joke when someone tries to pinch you on St. Patrick's Day for not wearing green, is to tell them that you ARE wearing green, that you have periodontal disease and your gums are a slight shade of green. They won't want to take a closer look, trust me.

Alas...St. Patty's Day is a harmless holiday. It's nothing to get all bent out of shape over like Valentine's Day or Christmas.

I mean ... it's nothing more than a day set aside to get drunk and chase Irish midgets around.

Which pretty much describes a typical Friday night for me.

Regardless ... have a safe and fun one. And before you drink ANY green beer, make sure it's food coloring.

**************

Wow.

I ask a simple question, I get a TON of great answers.

Yesterday, I asked for suggestions for the weekend music fest coming up in May here in my fine city.

Emails flooded in.

FLOODED I'm 'a tellin' ya.

I got more personal email than spam, if that tells you anything.

Anyway, some of the talent suggested by the die-hard, ultrafine Bobheads included ...Poe, Stabbing Westward, Splendor, Our Lady Peace, Loreena McKennit, Ben Folds Five, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, Liz Phair, They Might Be Giants, Jimmie's Chicken Shack, Bad Religion, Reel Big Fish, Squirrel Nut Zippers, Clutch, Jellybricks, Lit, New Radicals, The Mad Caddies, Bloodhound Gang, Ani DiFranco, Blue Rodeo, David Lee Roth, Sebastian Bach, The Dixie Chicks, Halmsley Workman, Finger Eleven, Moist, Violent Femmes, Jack Ingram, The Refreshments (one of my fave bands of the 90s...sadly...the last I heard they had broken up), Cassandra Wilson, Letters To Cleo, Tonya Donnelly, Weezer, The Ventures and Blink 182.

Wow.

I ask ...and y'all deliver.

First off, mad props go out to everyone who took the time to email me and help me out. Those people include but are not limited to Eddie, RicciGal, Pink Death, Pragya, Monstre , Molzo , Frank , Shoshannah , Malkavia , Affemann , Fattitude , Suedehead , Wendigo ,and Greyarea .

Too awesome. Too cool.

A quick little bit of background on this whole deal that I haven't shared with you yet.

See....last week, I wrote a pretty ... ummm..."Uncle Bob-ish"newspaper column that pretty much said this year's three-day music fest was going to SUCK due to the line-up they had already announced.

Here was the line-up announced at the time: Hank Williams Jr. , Percy Sledge, Martina McBride, Brad Paisley, The Commodores, Lou Christie and the Grass Roots.

So...I wrote a column saying that I was NOT impressed and that NONE of my friends were impressed with the line-up.

Flat out...the line-up sucked.

That column ran last week. This week, the head of the committee for the Festival calls me and wants to know what suggestions I might have and to get them to her by Monday.

Now...I have a wide and varied list to give her.

The people of Diaryland have spoken.

God bless Diaryland.

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